Beeper (part B)
Title: Beeper
Series: Love hurts
Written by: Parishs
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Not only Luke is confused, but also the three other men who are sleeping in his house (Reg's, Scott's and last but not least Reid's POV).
Prompt: Fun Fic Friday prompt of Beeper (09-5-2014)
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Warning: English is not my native language, unbeta-ed.
Previous chapter
How was it possible that I ended up in bed with the one guy I had feelings for? As soon as his head touched the pillow I heard Scott’s breathing decrease. He didn’t feel uncomfortable laying in a bed with me obviously.
I did. I had shared so many beds that I lost count, but being here made me loose my breath. I had seen naked men, somehow I could turn them on with my naughty smile, most men wanted to own me and I liked that, to be taken. To be their prey.
But here with this straight guy, everything I had done seemed out of place. He didn’t want my body. And that felt awful. I wanted to turn my face to him and breathe in his scent, I wanted to cares his face and o my god, I wanted to touch the bulge that seemed so huge in Luke’s underwear. And for the first time I wasn’t interested in his size, I only wanted to please him, to show him how good a man’s touch could be.
But it wasn’t what he needed. He had a girlfriend, he liked boobs. And that was frustrating. With gay guys I knew I could wrap them around my finger, but I just didn’t have the accessories he got off on.
I tried to roll as far away from him as possible, but the bed was small and we accidentally touched each other a lot during the night. It was hard, to feel things like this for a guy. To be this attracted. To know that whatever I did didn’t matter to him.
******************************
I felt that he really tried to avoid touching me, and I appreciated that in him. What he didn’t know was that I somehow needed him to touch me. And that scared me to death.
Had it been a coincidence that I met them, the three gay guys? I had never doubted my sexuality, until I started to hang out with them in Dolly. And at the pond. I had no idea what was happening to me when Reg and I went swimming. We talked for hours, giving Reid and Luke time to be alone. About our jobs and about life in general.
Reg turned out to be the nicest person I had even met. He was good to the people around him. Especially Luke. They had a click so strong that no one could come between them. I had asked him a few times why they weren’t together, but he just laughed when I wanted to know. They were like brothers, he always said. My ass.
And for a long time, I thought that it didn’t matter to me what they were to each other. It was obvious that they had the strongest connection I had ever seen, but that wasn’t my business. But looking back, I had to admit that I was thinking about him a lot.
And it felt weird and wrong, I didn’t want to think about a man in that way, because it was not who I was. I was absolutely okay with them being gay, but I couldn’t admit to myself that I liked Reg in a way that was beyond friendship. What if I was bi? Did I want to know? Would it ruin my relationship with Melanie?
Of course I knew that you could love more than one person, but why did it happen to me? I had been so happy with her. But now I only tried to be with Reg. I wanted to listen to what he had to say. I wanted to be close to him, so close that our hands touched sometimes. I wanted to see him smile.
I wanted to fight him when he tried to control Luke’s life. Why didn’t he see me? I walked around in my underwear last night but even then he didn’t look at me. Maybe I was too skinny for him. Maybe he read in my eyes how scared I was. What did I know about gay relationships?
*******************************************
Slowly I managed to open my eyes. When I realized where I was I sighed. Why did he do this? Why didn’t he leave me alone? Why did I drink so much? My body obviously wasn’t used to the alcohol anymore, last year I could drink all day without being this drunk.
My pounding brain couldn’t remember what had happened. How did he find me? And why did he care? Why didn’t he leave me the hell alone? Did he need to safe me?
I couldn’t remember why I drove to the bar. Or maybe I did, but now it didn’t seem that big of a problem anymore. Luke loving Reg, why did that blow me away? I knew he also loved me. And I loved him. The idea about them together had been a malign ghost, its voice had whispered its devilish words in my ear until I started to believe them.
And although he knew I was ruining my future and his, he tracked me down and brought me to his house. Crawled in bed with me. Accepted the alcoholic smell oozing through my skin. He had wrapped his arms around me anyway. Was it true, that people here accepted me for who I was, addiction and all? Why did they do that? How could I make things right between us again?
Next chapter
Series: Love hurts
Written by: Parishs
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Not only Luke is confused, but also the three other men who are sleeping in his house (Reg's, Scott's and last but not least Reid's POV).
Prompt: Fun Fic Friday prompt of Beeper (09-5-2014)
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Warning: English is not my native language, unbeta-ed.
Previous chapter
How was it possible that I ended up in bed with the one guy I had feelings for? As soon as his head touched the pillow I heard Scott’s breathing decrease. He didn’t feel uncomfortable laying in a bed with me obviously.
I did. I had shared so many beds that I lost count, but being here made me loose my breath. I had seen naked men, somehow I could turn them on with my naughty smile, most men wanted to own me and I liked that, to be taken. To be their prey.
But here with this straight guy, everything I had done seemed out of place. He didn’t want my body. And that felt awful. I wanted to turn my face to him and breathe in his scent, I wanted to cares his face and o my god, I wanted to touch the bulge that seemed so huge in Luke’s underwear. And for the first time I wasn’t interested in his size, I only wanted to please him, to show him how good a man’s touch could be.
But it wasn’t what he needed. He had a girlfriend, he liked boobs. And that was frustrating. With gay guys I knew I could wrap them around my finger, but I just didn’t have the accessories he got off on.
I tried to roll as far away from him as possible, but the bed was small and we accidentally touched each other a lot during the night. It was hard, to feel things like this for a guy. To be this attracted. To know that whatever I did didn’t matter to him.
******************************
I felt that he really tried to avoid touching me, and I appreciated that in him. What he didn’t know was that I somehow needed him to touch me. And that scared me to death.
Had it been a coincidence that I met them, the three gay guys? I had never doubted my sexuality, until I started to hang out with them in Dolly. And at the pond. I had no idea what was happening to me when Reg and I went swimming. We talked for hours, giving Reid and Luke time to be alone. About our jobs and about life in general.
Reg turned out to be the nicest person I had even met. He was good to the people around him. Especially Luke. They had a click so strong that no one could come between them. I had asked him a few times why they weren’t together, but he just laughed when I wanted to know. They were like brothers, he always said. My ass.
And for a long time, I thought that it didn’t matter to me what they were to each other. It was obvious that they had the strongest connection I had ever seen, but that wasn’t my business. But looking back, I had to admit that I was thinking about him a lot.
And it felt weird and wrong, I didn’t want to think about a man in that way, because it was not who I was. I was absolutely okay with them being gay, but I couldn’t admit to myself that I liked Reg in a way that was beyond friendship. What if I was bi? Did I want to know? Would it ruin my relationship with Melanie?
Of course I knew that you could love more than one person, but why did it happen to me? I had been so happy with her. But now I only tried to be with Reg. I wanted to listen to what he had to say. I wanted to be close to him, so close that our hands touched sometimes. I wanted to see him smile.
I wanted to fight him when he tried to control Luke’s life. Why didn’t he see me? I walked around in my underwear last night but even then he didn’t look at me. Maybe I was too skinny for him. Maybe he read in my eyes how scared I was. What did I know about gay relationships?
*******************************************
Slowly I managed to open my eyes. When I realized where I was I sighed. Why did he do this? Why didn’t he leave me alone? Why did I drink so much? My body obviously wasn’t used to the alcohol anymore, last year I could drink all day without being this drunk.
My pounding brain couldn’t remember what had happened. How did he find me? And why did he care? Why didn’t he leave me the hell alone? Did he need to safe me?
I couldn’t remember why I drove to the bar. Or maybe I did, but now it didn’t seem that big of a problem anymore. Luke loving Reg, why did that blow me away? I knew he also loved me. And I loved him. The idea about them together had been a malign ghost, its voice had whispered its devilish words in my ear until I started to believe them.
And although he knew I was ruining my future and his, he tracked me down and brought me to his house. Crawled in bed with me. Accepted the alcoholic smell oozing through my skin. He had wrapped his arms around me anyway. Was it true, that people here accepted me for who I was, addiction and all? Why did they do that? How could I make things right between us again?
Next chapter