Disclaimer to the public, eh not really
I am a Hugger, and I always talk about how when I see someone troubled [whether stranger or not] I want to just run up to them and hug them. Truly hug them. While at the mall a few days ago, Barlow and I were checking out a gift I was preparing to buy someone, and A mentally handicapped child [well, not really child more along the lines of my age] just walked up to me and gave me a big hug. Completely at random- no words nothing just a hug and I stood astounded. As the girl came to retreive him saying he couldn't just go about hugging strangers. I felt a lump in my throat forming and I swallowed while I tried not to cry. I had been holding so many emotions in at the time, and I was so troubled. I didn't exactly know why I started to cry the way that I did. Subtly choking back these tears of either; joy that another human can express such purity and wholesomeness or, the fact that they saw such trouble in me- The fact that it was evident that I was so stressed. I suppose just being on the opposite side of the spectrum just really made me realize, what that was, I don't know.
I am at such a crossroad right now- With myself. This is a make or break kind of thing and I'm questioning all my intentions and all my emotions. I sincerely don't really know what I want right now. I just know that It's so stressful being in the predicament and part of me is screaming to give in to my acceptance. I am normally so accepting. But, another part of myself is telling me that nothing will ever change if I just accept. I can't change anyone. I know that. People can only change themselves, I also know that.
I wish I could do so much more. I wish I could give so much more. I want to be able to show a point of view unlike any other. To be able to open minds and eyes the way that I have taught myself to.
I am at such a crossroad right now- With myself. This is a make or break kind of thing and I'm questioning all my intentions and all my emotions. I sincerely don't really know what I want right now. I just know that It's so stressful being in the predicament and part of me is screaming to give in to my acceptance. I am normally so accepting. But, another part of myself is telling me that nothing will ever change if I just accept. I can't change anyone. I know that. People can only change themselves, I also know that.
I wish I could do so much more. I wish I could give so much more. I want to be able to show a point of view unlike any other. To be able to open minds and eyes the way that I have taught myself to.