Fun
So last night was probably the worst episode of depression I have had in a while and the first time in about two years that I have even though of suicide. Nothing really seemed to trigger, except for the emotional exhaustion of going back home and a failing of my summer hopes. The depression wasn't even focused on anything...I just cried for about an hour in the bathroom. But I'm fine for now.
I think I need to take myself off the dating market entirely. It seems that, in this moment of my life, I'm not able to raise more than a passing interest in guys around me: whether it's nine months (with about five of being used), a few weeks, or a night. And while I can pull a one-night-stand as well as the rest of them, it's too emotionally draining. I feel that I either need to stay out of market or find someone that is looking for a stable relationship, because everything else in my life is so unstable now and I don't need the extra drama.
Bah, I feel so disgustingly heterosexual saying that.
hehe.
I think I need to take myself off the dating market entirely. It seems that, in this moment of my life, I'm not able to raise more than a passing interest in guys around me: whether it's nine months (with about five of being used), a few weeks, or a night. And while I can pull a one-night-stand as well as the rest of them, it's too emotionally draining. I feel that I either need to stay out of market or find someone that is looking for a stable relationship, because everything else in my life is so unstable now and I don't need the extra drama.
Bah, I feel so disgustingly heterosexual saying that.
hehe.