Here it is. The big finale. The very last chapter of Caro. Whew! What a ride it's been. I don't know about you, but I've had a great time posting this
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OK. When I started reading this I was going to go back, re-read and then comment, but it's such a powerful piece of writing that I don't think I'll be able to do that anytime soon. So my comments are going to look a bit superficial, but that's not a reflection of the effect it had on me.
So... first of all, little things I liked as the as the story got under way - Mercutio and the fairies, the petition to the Prince (this is the way the world works, boys, I can't solve problems with a magic wand); susceptible Romeo. The atmosphere in Verona on the night of mercutio's birthday.
Then, the research you obviously put into it - the start of the modern financial system and the presence of the young women at the University - our world beginning to peep through.
The awful central theme - that's the most convincing treatment of child abuse I've come across in a fanfic; I appreciated the absence of any magical healing sex - sex in this case being a complication. And the way they finally found to bring good out of evil.
I wondered a couple of things about Mercutio - why would he allow Romeo to touch him? And did he try to tell his confessor about what was going on? Urgh - shades of modern cover-ups in the Catholic church.
I also wondered about Rinuccini himself - what drove him? Was he a straightforward psychopath, was he abused himself as a child (explanation, not excuse, of course)or was it just a part of a wider urge to control, and that's why he picked on his son ? (I volunteer at the local women's centre, which is why I'm wondering about this character particularly.) Either way, you let him off way too easily. I was hoping for something really awful to happen to him.*is vindictive*
Benvolio, the well-named well-wisher I loved of course, and even he's got his limitations.
Well, as I said, not very coherent comments.
Then, at the risk of sounding completely facile, how I envy your ability to write a very long fic...! "Henry's Journey" nearly klled me, and it's, what, a quarter of the length? Wish I could just sit and write, and write, and write...And I was startled to come across the phrase "sweet friend" which I used a lot too. I swear I didn't pinch it from you! I found the endearment "mignon", as used in romantic male friendships, in Huizinga's "The Waning of the Middle Ages", liked it, but the literal translation "sweetheart" sounded a bit unlikely, so I tweaked it a bit.
Well, I seem to have written myself out (I was up till nearly midnight last night, and that's your fault) but yeah...still wibbling.
Oh, you read it! Yay! I'm so glad you enjoyed it, and thank you very much for that lovely review.
The awful central theme - that's the most convincing treatment of child abuse I've come across in a fanfic
High praise indeed, especially coming from a women's centre volunteer. I am honored (and very relieved that the theme passed muster with someone who really knows).
I wondered a couple of things about Mercutio - why would he allow Romeo to touch him?
Bearing in mind that this is heavily based off of that one particular 1968 movie, which you have seen, and in which (with good reason) much of the focus is on Romeo as an object of desire . . . Mercutio does in fact allow Romeo to touch him, most notably in the Queen Mab scene, and it's a relationship that I had to work with in this story. My sort-of background explanation goes a little like this:
Benvolio is pretty straightforwardly gay, and is easy to write because of this -- fairly uncomplicated story of self-discovery and acceptance. But Mercutio is much more messed up sexually, and it's far more difficult for him to figure out what, or who, he might want. He develops a little crush on Romeo in early adolescence, primarily based on the fact that Romeo (either from generosity, stupidity, or both) isn't afraid of him, the way most of his friends are; even Benvolio was a little intimidated by Mercutio's temper at first. I don't think that adolescent Mercutio has a sophisticated enough understanding of his own heart to realize consciously that he has a crush on Romeo; he spends so much energy trying to keep himself together that the most he can manage is a vague feeling of "this person may touch me, and it's okay, because it doesn't hurt." Of course, after Romeo essentially pulls Mercutio onto Tybalt's sword, that crush evaporates, and he's ready at least to hear that his other special friend loves him.
And did he try to tell his confessor about what was going on?
Yup. In Chapter Four, when he goes off to talk to a priest and is promptly brought back and accused of lying, and is subsequently pulled out of school. That was enough to convince him to keep quiet about the abuse for another four years.
what drove him? Was he a straightforward psychopath, was he abused himself as a child (explanation, not excuse, of course)or was it just a part of a wider urge to control, and that's why he picked on his son ?
I don't really know. I haven't looked as deeply into his psychology as I have with some of the other characters. Maybe for another story . . . Anyway, I suspect that there are multiple factors at work here. He is certainly a control freak, and I suspect that he has a lot of unresolved issues with his own bisexuality, and possibly some kind of mental illness. I haven't decided whether or not he was abused as a child, but I think that, at least for part of his childhood, he was spoiled absolutely rotten; he was given everything he wanted, and his slightest whim was catered to. He certainly has an oversized sense of entitlement.
Either way, you let him off way too easily.
*evil grin* Yes, that was entirely intentional. Justice in Verona is not exactly a shining beacon of competence, and both Benvolio and Mercutio come to realize how inadequate Rinuccini's punishment was, and how it led directly to the abuse of more children in Mantua. I wanted this sense of injustice to drive the last portion of the story, to give them the final push to grow up and take responsibility for improving a little bit of the world.
And I was startled to come across the phrase "sweet friend" which I used a lot too. I swear I didn't pinch it from you!
Oh, I believe you. I got it from some source or other -- some scholarly book either on homosexuality in the Renaissance or on interpretation of Shakespeare's language -- and somehow I got the idea that "sweet friend" would be an historically acceptable endearment for a boy's male lover.
Benvolio, of course, uses the more forthright caro, "beloved," since he's got a better grasp of his own feelings.
Again, thank you so much for your review. I hope this also explains some of the more cryptic aspects of the side stories you've already read.
So... first of all, little things I liked as the as the story got under way - Mercutio and the fairies, the petition to the Prince (this is the way the world works, boys, I can't solve problems with a magic wand); susceptible Romeo. The atmosphere in Verona on the night of mercutio's birthday.
Then, the research you obviously put into it - the start of the modern financial system and the presence of the young women at the University - our world beginning to peep through.
The awful central theme - that's the most convincing treatment of child abuse I've come across in a fanfic; I appreciated the absence of any magical healing sex - sex in this case being a complication. And the way they finally found to bring good out of evil.
I wondered a couple of things about Mercutio - why would he allow Romeo to touch him? And did he try to tell his confessor about what was going on? Urgh - shades of modern cover-ups in the Catholic church.
I also wondered about Rinuccini himself - what drove him? Was he a straightforward psychopath, was he abused himself as a child (explanation, not excuse, of course)or was it just a part of a wider urge to control, and that's why he picked on his son ? (I volunteer at the local women's centre, which is why I'm wondering about this character particularly.) Either way, you let him off way too easily. I was hoping for something really awful to happen to him.*is vindictive*
Benvolio, the well-named well-wisher I loved of course, and even he's got his limitations.
Well, as I said, not very coherent comments.
Then, at the risk of sounding completely facile, how I envy your ability to write a very long fic...! "Henry's Journey" nearly klled me, and it's, what, a quarter of the length? Wish I could just sit and write, and write, and write...And I was startled to come across the phrase "sweet friend" which I used a lot too. I swear I didn't pinch it from you! I found the endearment "mignon", as used in romantic male friendships, in Huizinga's "The Waning of the Middle Ages", liked it, but the literal translation "sweetheart" sounded a bit unlikely, so I tweaked it a bit.
Well, I seem to have written myself out (I was up till nearly midnight last night, and that's your fault) but yeah...still wibbling.
Reply
The awful central theme - that's the most convincing treatment of child abuse I've come across in a fanfic
High praise indeed, especially coming from a women's centre volunteer. I am honored (and very relieved that the theme passed muster with someone who really knows).
I wondered a couple of things about Mercutio - why would he allow Romeo to touch him?
Bearing in mind that this is heavily based off of that one particular 1968 movie, which you have seen, and in which (with good reason) much of the focus is on Romeo as an object of desire . . . Mercutio does in fact allow Romeo to touch him, most notably in the Queen Mab scene, and it's a relationship that I had to work with in this story. My sort-of background explanation goes a little like this:
Benvolio is pretty straightforwardly gay, and is easy to write because of this -- fairly uncomplicated story of self-discovery and acceptance. But Mercutio is much more messed up sexually, and it's far more difficult for him to figure out what, or who, he might want. He develops a little crush on Romeo in early adolescence, primarily based on the fact that Romeo (either from generosity, stupidity, or both) isn't afraid of him, the way most of his friends are; even Benvolio was a little intimidated by Mercutio's temper at first. I don't think that adolescent Mercutio has a sophisticated enough understanding of his own heart to realize consciously that he has a crush on Romeo; he spends so much energy trying to keep himself together that the most he can manage is a vague feeling of "this person may touch me, and it's okay, because it doesn't hurt." Of course, after Romeo essentially pulls Mercutio onto Tybalt's sword, that crush evaporates, and he's ready at least to hear that his other special friend loves him.
And did he try to tell his confessor about what was going on?
Yup. In Chapter Four, when he goes off to talk to a priest and is promptly brought back and accused of lying, and is subsequently pulled out of school. That was enough to convince him to keep quiet about the abuse for another four years.
what drove him? Was he a straightforward psychopath, was he abused himself as a child (explanation, not excuse, of course)or was it just a part of a wider urge to control, and that's why he picked on his son ?
I don't really know. I haven't looked as deeply into his psychology as I have with some of the other characters. Maybe for another story . . . Anyway, I suspect that there are multiple factors at work here. He is certainly a control freak, and I suspect that he has a lot of unresolved issues with his own bisexuality, and possibly some kind of mental illness. I haven't decided whether or not he was abused as a child, but I think that, at least for part of his childhood, he was spoiled absolutely rotten; he was given everything he wanted, and his slightest whim was catered to. He certainly has an oversized sense of entitlement.
Either way, you let him off way too easily.
*evil grin* Yes, that was entirely intentional. Justice in Verona is not exactly a shining beacon of competence, and both Benvolio and Mercutio come to realize how inadequate Rinuccini's punishment was, and how it led directly to the abuse of more children in Mantua. I wanted this sense of injustice to drive the last portion of the story, to give them the final push to grow up and take responsibility for improving a little bit of the world.
And I was startled to come across the phrase "sweet friend" which I used a lot too. I swear I didn't pinch it from you!
Oh, I believe you. I got it from some source or other -- some scholarly book either on homosexuality in the Renaissance or on interpretation of Shakespeare's language -- and somehow I got the idea that "sweet friend" would be an historically acceptable endearment for a boy's male lover.
Benvolio, of course, uses the more forthright caro, "beloved," since he's got a better grasp of his own feelings.
Again, thank you so much for your review. I hope this also explains some of the more cryptic aspects of the side stories you've already read.
Reply
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