Mommy Buddy System
Sometimes I think it would be so useful to have a Mommy Buddy System for new moms. Yeah, there are so many online forum these days but it is just not the same as having someone physically around to buddy you. Besides, not everyone has access to the internet and not everyone is internet savvy.
I guess in our culture, it is assumed that the mother/mother in law of the new mother (grandmas), or even the confinement nanny should be able to provide the support and help. We naturally turn to our nearest, dearest and closest for guidance. A lot of times, they do. But then there are also so many new moms out there totally lost and mothers/mil/confinement nannies are of no help. What is worse is that they are the total opposite. Instead of encouragement and building up the confidence, they tear down and cast doubts, especially in the area of breastfeeding, and cause confusion by their old wives tales and irrational beliefs, and even their pride.
(My mil asked all her auntie friends when we expressed some concerned about the baby being big, and guess what kind of advice came back? Just go and get it out by C-secion.)
New moms panic at the slightest thing and it would be such a tremendous help to have an experienced and knowledgeable mom around to provide the security. I have met mothers who get totally distressed by something as simple as baby having wind. They were completely clueless what to do. Actually, I was also one of them myself last time. I got totally stressed up because of windy baby and all that crying. If only someone was there to just tell me things like using Ruyi Oil, Infacol, etc and saved me the stress and the $$$$ paid to the paed who told me the same thing.
Like a doula at delivery, a mommy buddy should be there to provide support and help and hopefully eliminate the common fears and stress that a new mom goes through.
Unfortunately, such a system does not exist and a lot of new moms end up not knowing where they could get help, or who they could ask for help, etc. On the other hand, I am sure there are plenty of experienced moms ready to help but a lot of times, for some reason, new moms just don't feel comfortable asking for help.
I guess in our culture, it is assumed that the mother/mother in law of the new mother (grandmas), or even the confinement nanny should be able to provide the support and help. We naturally turn to our nearest, dearest and closest for guidance. A lot of times, they do. But then there are also so many new moms out there totally lost and mothers/mil/confinement nannies are of no help. What is worse is that they are the total opposite. Instead of encouragement and building up the confidence, they tear down and cast doubts, especially in the area of breastfeeding, and cause confusion by their old wives tales and irrational beliefs, and even their pride.
(My mil asked all her auntie friends when we expressed some concerned about the baby being big, and guess what kind of advice came back? Just go and get it out by C-secion.)
New moms panic at the slightest thing and it would be such a tremendous help to have an experienced and knowledgeable mom around to provide the security. I have met mothers who get totally distressed by something as simple as baby having wind. They were completely clueless what to do. Actually, I was also one of them myself last time. I got totally stressed up because of windy baby and all that crying. If only someone was there to just tell me things like using Ruyi Oil, Infacol, etc and saved me the stress and the $$$$ paid to the paed who told me the same thing.
Like a doula at delivery, a mommy buddy should be there to provide support and help and hopefully eliminate the common fears and stress that a new mom goes through.
Unfortunately, such a system does not exist and a lot of new moms end up not knowing where they could get help, or who they could ask for help, etc. On the other hand, I am sure there are plenty of experienced moms ready to help but a lot of times, for some reason, new moms just don't feel comfortable asking for help.