(no subject)
I felt ok for a while. Then I felt great; refreshed, cleansed. Now I feel a little sad; slightly lonely, with a touch of remorse.
I haven't spoken to him since that night when I broke down with utter honesty. At first he sent me tearful messages, then angry ones, but I haven't heard from him in over a week. I didn't dignify his messages with any sort of response because I know that's exactly what he wants, and I don't want to talk to him until he's ready to see things clearly; I know his mind is elsewhere at the moment and there's nothing I can say to ease the pain in his heart. My heart hurts knowing the sheer tenacity of the pain I have caused him, but there was no other way.
I'm a little lost, even though I know I'm on the right path. It's just been so long since I last stood here, without someone else's hand to hold. I feel like an awkward teenager with every new experience; I'm clumsy, I stumble, I'm unsure of myself. There are so many things I've become used to that aren't there anymore, or that are different when done with another person... it's like learning to swim all over again.
But I'll be ok;
I can only hope to eventually say the same about us.
I haven't spoken to him since that night when I broke down with utter honesty. At first he sent me tearful messages, then angry ones, but I haven't heard from him in over a week. I didn't dignify his messages with any sort of response because I know that's exactly what he wants, and I don't want to talk to him until he's ready to see things clearly; I know his mind is elsewhere at the moment and there's nothing I can say to ease the pain in his heart. My heart hurts knowing the sheer tenacity of the pain I have caused him, but there was no other way.
I'm a little lost, even though I know I'm on the right path. It's just been so long since I last stood here, without someone else's hand to hold. I feel like an awkward teenager with every new experience; I'm clumsy, I stumble, I'm unsure of myself. There are so many things I've become used to that aren't there anymore, or that are different when done with another person... it's like learning to swim all over again.
But I'll be ok;
I can only hope to eventually say the same about us.