no sleep
new years, is supposed to be spent with the one you love.
i am detached. from everyone myself included.
upon getting home i was playing tetris and felt an icy pain in the back of my head.
i realized my cheeks were wet, apparently i had been crying for some time. not sure when it started, or when it stopped. or even why
i have no excuse for my actions, sometimes people stick to what they know, even if its pain, just so they know they are alive.
my past hasnt been very sunshine and flowers, nor has my present. but ive tried to make the most of it.
ive tried to turn shit to diamonds and all i get is my hands dirty.
this last year has been one of my hardest, and im too tired to get into it.
i fully take responsibility for my own actions in causing this.
in the last week i feel ive lost the last bit of myself that i knew.
i lost loved ones and even the last shred of hope i had in someone that was once beautiful to me
with that hope i lost me.
i daydream lately, barely able to get out of bed some days.
i wake up in a ball crying
i see people i care about find happiness and my joy is mixed with a bitterness.
im assured that someday ill find what im looking for, but someday seems so far away and the path is filled with forks and thorns and glass
instead i just go back to meaningless distractions....
happy 2006, i think i broke my noisemaker
i am detached. from everyone myself included.
upon getting home i was playing tetris and felt an icy pain in the back of my head.
i realized my cheeks were wet, apparently i had been crying for some time. not sure when it started, or when it stopped. or even why
i have no excuse for my actions, sometimes people stick to what they know, even if its pain, just so they know they are alive.
my past hasnt been very sunshine and flowers, nor has my present. but ive tried to make the most of it.
ive tried to turn shit to diamonds and all i get is my hands dirty.
this last year has been one of my hardest, and im too tired to get into it.
i fully take responsibility for my own actions in causing this.
in the last week i feel ive lost the last bit of myself that i knew.
i lost loved ones and even the last shred of hope i had in someone that was once beautiful to me
with that hope i lost me.
i daydream lately, barely able to get out of bed some days.
i wake up in a ball crying
i see people i care about find happiness and my joy is mixed with a bitterness.
im assured that someday ill find what im looking for, but someday seems so far away and the path is filled with forks and thorns and glass
instead i just go back to meaningless distractions....
happy 2006, i think i broke my noisemaker