declaration of freedom (from inside a bottle)
when seeking out a relationship there are a few things that i demand. generally respect...yes, respect. there are certain behaviors that i find unacceptable from a possible significant other. here is a list of unacceptable behaviors and general observations that i have compiled over the last year.
1. not walking me to the door.
2. saying "go home so i can sleep" and not walking me to the door
3. confessing your love for a friend of mine in public and later recanting in hopes of getting some. wait....there wasnt even a recant...just a severe change of subject...that asshole!
4. not talking to me for an hour after i refuse to drive to the gas station to get you a choco taco at 5am.
5. no i dont want to watch you play cornhole/videogames/darts/pool with your friends.
6. if you go to the other side of the bar and make out with some slutty bar chick i will see it. even if you hide behind a napkin.
7. i am not a taxi for your friends
8. i am not a taxi for you
9. in fact i dont even like you, im just bored.
10. this:
*hug*
"ouch you knew my leg was injured dont touch me"
is bullshit.
11. giving me drinks free and overcharging my friends.....youre lucky you kept your kneecaps sir.
12. when my employees throw something at you, randomly, usually that means your doing something wrong.
13. giving my friends diseases or children, in general, makes me thankful for dodging the bullet.
14. overdoing the cheesy faces and hand gestures usually means your hiding something.
15. tattoos that let you know who or where you are when you look in the mirror = trouble
16. tattoos that look like they were done in prison most likely were.
17. saying that a tattoo that was obviously a girls name is actually a celtic design....thats just bad form.
18. covering that tattoo (partially) with an even worse tattoo, not good sir.
19. when you scream "at least i told you...see im not an asshole!!" it usually means you are.
20. not showing up on my birthday when you promised
21. telling me to call you on my birthday when you dont show up...and trying to hush the girl in the background.
22. did i mention confessing love for a friend of mine in public?
23. smoking pot does not make you cool or edgy. just makes you look dumb. if you want to impress me try shooting draino
oh im sure there are more....
so any possible suitors take caution. any of the above actions will result in loss of limb and being beaten about the head and shoulders.
i do kinda like cuddling and watching cheesy 80s/horror movies.
oh and intelligent conversation and a good sense of humor.
having a soul is a plus
♥
1. not walking me to the door.
2. saying "go home so i can sleep" and not walking me to the door
3. confessing your love for a friend of mine in public and later recanting in hopes of getting some. wait....there wasnt even a recant...just a severe change of subject...that asshole!
4. not talking to me for an hour after i refuse to drive to the gas station to get you a choco taco at 5am.
5. no i dont want to watch you play cornhole/videogames/darts/pool with your friends.
6. if you go to the other side of the bar and make out with some slutty bar chick i will see it. even if you hide behind a napkin.
7. i am not a taxi for your friends
8. i am not a taxi for you
9. in fact i dont even like you, im just bored.
10. this:
*hug*
"ouch you knew my leg was injured dont touch me"
is bullshit.
11. giving me drinks free and overcharging my friends.....youre lucky you kept your kneecaps sir.
12. when my employees throw something at you, randomly, usually that means your doing something wrong.
13. giving my friends diseases or children, in general, makes me thankful for dodging the bullet.
14. overdoing the cheesy faces and hand gestures usually means your hiding something.
15. tattoos that let you know who or where you are when you look in the mirror = trouble
16. tattoos that look like they were done in prison most likely were.
17. saying that a tattoo that was obviously a girls name is actually a celtic design....thats just bad form.
18. covering that tattoo (partially) with an even worse tattoo, not good sir.
19. when you scream "at least i told you...see im not an asshole!!" it usually means you are.
20. not showing up on my birthday when you promised
21. telling me to call you on my birthday when you dont show up...and trying to hush the girl in the background.
22. did i mention confessing love for a friend of mine in public?
23. smoking pot does not make you cool or edgy. just makes you look dumb. if you want to impress me try shooting draino
oh im sure there are more....
so any possible suitors take caution. any of the above actions will result in loss of limb and being beaten about the head and shoulders.
i do kinda like cuddling and watching cheesy 80s/horror movies.
oh and intelligent conversation and a good sense of humor.
having a soul is a plus
♥