apologies
Apologies for the extraordinarily angsty posts of late. it's true that i felt and feel like a bit of an asshole, but my friends are my friends, and they forgive me. so that's always nice to know.
today was that day where i was supposed to pack. well, i did some of it. i have one suitcase full of shit. it's pretty intense. and it weighs a load and a half. i have to get in touch with my parents/aunt-who-works-in-delta about the weight issue. there's also this ambiguity about the 2 bags i can bring -- i dunno if this means two bags plus a carry-on, or if it means two bags and no carry-on. this is important, as i don´t want to get rid of a lot of important things...like books. or cds. hm.
well, as things progress, i have time (what little i have while busying myself with things and people) to think bout what this all means. i had a nice conversation with a friend of mine, a fellow teacher at the Duoc where i worked, and we came to the conclusion that this was a lonely time, and i'm not necessarily selfish about all my complaints...though at some points, i think i can be, as i only think of my loneliness and the "woe is me" tidal wave comes on again...it's just that i was lonely, and when you feel lonely, things just suck, afterall, no? well, in other ways, it's also that i have a lot of growing up to do. i've began to experience that growing up process, and it struck me hard. i just have to get used to it, and begin to realize that i can't expect so much from so many people just cause i want it to.
mmm. profound thoughts, indeed. difficult to live outside of your context. chile is not for me. i mean, chile is for me, but not a home for me to live in forever. perhaps a place to visit, a place to always have my heart tucked away somewhere. i love chile for who is there, and not necessarily for what it is. that's my conclusion, i suppose. a year's worth of time, and that's what i've got. that and a fantastic trip under my belt.
andrew
today was that day where i was supposed to pack. well, i did some of it. i have one suitcase full of shit. it's pretty intense. and it weighs a load and a half. i have to get in touch with my parents/aunt-who-works-in-delta about the weight issue. there's also this ambiguity about the 2 bags i can bring -- i dunno if this means two bags plus a carry-on, or if it means two bags and no carry-on. this is important, as i don´t want to get rid of a lot of important things...like books. or cds. hm.
well, as things progress, i have time (what little i have while busying myself with things and people) to think bout what this all means. i had a nice conversation with a friend of mine, a fellow teacher at the Duoc where i worked, and we came to the conclusion that this was a lonely time, and i'm not necessarily selfish about all my complaints...though at some points, i think i can be, as i only think of my loneliness and the "woe is me" tidal wave comes on again...it's just that i was lonely, and when you feel lonely, things just suck, afterall, no? well, in other ways, it's also that i have a lot of growing up to do. i've began to experience that growing up process, and it struck me hard. i just have to get used to it, and begin to realize that i can't expect so much from so many people just cause i want it to.
mmm. profound thoughts, indeed. difficult to live outside of your context. chile is not for me. i mean, chile is for me, but not a home for me to live in forever. perhaps a place to visit, a place to always have my heart tucked away somewhere. i love chile for who is there, and not necessarily for what it is. that's my conclusion, i suppose. a year's worth of time, and that's what i've got. that and a fantastic trip under my belt.
andrew