And I'm back...
Well. Here's why I've been gone for over a month.
Last post, I wrote about that fever. The next day, I went to the school clinic, the doctor took one look at me and said, "You need to go to the hospital." I was pretty out of it, but also pretty stunned. They called an ambulance and put me on a stretcher, it was all pretty awful.
I got to the hospital and I was in so much pain, I was admitted to the emergency room and immediately morphined up, it was crazy, it made me so loopy, I started laughing about chalk, I don't remember why, really. My RA, Elana, came with me, and she was with me that entire day, before my mom could get to Boston from New York. She didn't know why I was talking about chalk either, but she found it pretty funny.
Later in the day, they moved me up to a room and my mom finally came. I was in bed, in pain, and my two doctors came in - of course, both gorgeous, thank you very much. And they were so nice and reassured me that everything would be okay. At this point, they still thought it was that E. Coli business. Turns out, it was never that!
What I actually have is ulcerative colitis. And I had a really really bad first attack. It took them two days and lots of painful tests to diagnose me. Once they did, a month ago, they started me on a slew of medications and none of them worked. I just got worse and worse every day, and they would put me on stronger meds, and those wouldn't work and it was just awful. Then they started talking surgery - that the only way to get me out of the hospital alive would be to remove my colon. It was so frightening, horrible. But then - a bit over a week ago, they started me on the strongest medication they could use - and they took a risk, because the potential side effects are really serious, the drug is generally used on cancer patients, but has been proven to make what I have better. So last Friday night, I got my first dose and - it worked!
Every day after they started giving me that medicine I started to feel better. And now, today, I'm still in the hospital, but God willing, I'm going home tomorrow. I'll be on lots of meds for the next three months, but they assure me that once that time has passed, I'll be able to lead a totally normal life and not have to feel the effects of this condition. I have a permanent doctor here in Boston, a really great guy who'll keep track of me, and I'm confident that all will be fine.
Throughout all this, this harrowing ordeal, I've had a lot of time to think. And so much has changed and so much has happened and - believe it or not, so much good has come out of this. I know it sounds crazy, but here goes, here's all the good stuff that's come out of this:
1. Well, I was failing miserably before I got here. My GPA would have been about a 2.3 and I needed a 3.2 to keep my scholarship. But because this happened, BU has completely excused first semester and when my mom called about it they said, "Talya's grades for this semester don't matter at all. She has up to a year to make up all her finals, but those grades won't count for anything and she still has her scholarship." Ready 123 woohoo.
2. My two doctors were amazing, especially the resident. We got really close over the month and he's amazing and we exchanged email addresses and phone numbers and we're going to keep in touch, yay! He is perfect. Anyway. La.
3. I completely changed. I matured, I grew up. How could I not? After being through all this? The things that mattered to me before just don't matter now. Like, music used to be such a huge part of my life. It wasn't just the music, but the "indie" lifestyle, and I was obsessed with it, and I was obsessed with being "cool." And now? I still love music, but for what it is -- music. This whole "scene" business means nothing to me anymore. It's incredible. And I've decided (finally!) what I want to do with my life. Being here for five weeks made me realize that there's nothing more important than to help people - and so, I've decided to become a physical therapist, hurrah. I just have to switch schools, we'll see how that pans out.
4. I realized what amazing friends I have. A few days after I was admitted to the hospital, I just received a barrage of visitors from school, just so many almost every day until break started. The Saturday before break, ten of my friends visited - and they walked from school to the hospital in the freezing cold because it was the Sabbath. It was amazing. And so many have just been calling every day and I've become so close with so many people through this - it's incredible, I can't wait to get back to school.
5. My mom. Is. Incredible. That day I was admitted, she ran here, dropped her entire life, went home once to get clothing, and has been here every single day since. She's never left my side, she's been here in this room every single day. My mom is a full time student, and she just left all her classes and work and did it all so happily. We've grown so incredibly close and I realize that my mother is my best friend and they greatest, strongest, and bravest woman in the world and I love her so much. Our relationship is completely amazing and I wouldn't change it for the world.
6. Hmm what else. I guess this is sort of silly but! Also kinda cool ... I lost 25 pounds :o And my doctor said that due to the "nature of the condition" I won't really be able to put much of it back on, maybe 10 pounds, which would be perfect. Oh man excitement abounds! I'm skinny! It's so cool! Shopping spreeeeeeeeeeeee ahh, that has me excited. Oh man, woo. Silly I know, but also ... really really cool.
So! That's what's been going on. Hope everyone has been healthy and happy and merry, etc etc. I'm still here in the hospital but God willing going home tomorrow! Word. Up.