The problem with my mother
Pop quiz: What does my mother say when I regularly call her on Tuesdays, but did not call last Tuesday because she had just left a weekend at my home Monday morning, and instead waited 8, rather than 7 days to call? "I guess when I visit I don't get a phone call." WTF
I think I actually made this phone call out of fear. I was having a relatively nice morning with the kids, enjoying being outdoors before it was too warm, playing both on the new playground and the freshly filled pool. We were as much at peace as one can be with a one year old and a four year old. And of course my favorite, Brody. We were having a nice time. I thought through this decision to make a call and it honestly didn't feel like a decision at all. It felt, and has always felt since I left for college, like an obligation.
I am not sure why I never felt like calling home; I knew people who could barely handle being away from home. They frequently spent the weekend there or even lived there and attended college for the day. For me, college was the ultimate escape. I was a great student, so this gave me freedom I yearned for. I wanted to leave, I really did not like being at home when I was a teen. I was DYING to leave. I got to college and it was heaven, I could do anything and everything, stay up all night, go anywhere I wanted, attend all these great classes I never had in high school, and even get mental health care. This was all great, yet I was not truly free because I had no money and this prepaid education came along with the expectation that I would get good grades (no issue), and call every week. For some reason that last part was so annoying and invasive to my mind.
I actually had a secret job that I did not tell my parents about. I always worked while I was in college, I liked it. I was always on the deans list. Their concerns seemed unfounded. I was literally off partying most of the week, up all night, doing lots of stuff that people frown upon, working one or more jobs, and still got all my shit together. It was then I realized I was in control of myself and also what I needed to succeed. And yet that weekly check in, just interrupting my schedule.