Lighters - Minho x Jonghyun - Oneshot
Title: Lighters
Chapters: Oneshot
Author: paranoiascreams
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut
Warning: unbeta'd
Rating: Overall PG-13 but NC-17 (for the smut)
Pairings/Characters: Minho x Jonghyun, Minho and Jonghyun with various girl!SHINee. XD
Synopsis: Jonghyun downs every can in one go that Minho has to stop him by grabbing his wrist when the older boy tries to get another can, "Hyung, drinking nonstop and getting ass-drunk won't make me turn and stand up to dad and tell him that I'm not going to New York."
Disclaimer: I HAVE NEVER WRITTEN SMUT IN ALL MY WORKS. PARDON ME. i know. I failed.
They stay sprawled on the green grass under the shade of the big oak tree. Mud cover their barefeet, dirt smudge their faces and sweat trail down their necks.
The sun is still high up. It's the summer and even in this heat, these kids would rather play outside than stay cooped inside their respective houses.
The chirping of very few birds echo the stillness of the meadow. The heaving of breaths join the animals in chorus.
"That was fun." The older boy speaks, laughing as he scratches his nose. A habit he's been trying to let go of but just couldn't.
"Yeah." The other agrees. The younger of the two has always been reserved - the exact opposite of his playmate.
Jonghyun's 8 and Minho is 7. Even with a year difference, they attend the same class, with Minho entering school a year ahead than usual children would.
They live in the rural area up north. It's a place where neighbors live 5 meters away from each other, with a population of less than a thousand families - Minho and Jonghyun are lucky enough to live a few meters away from the meadows and almost next to each others' houses with a good 2 meter distance.
"Minho?"
"Hmn?"
"What do you wanna be when we grow up?"
"I dunno. As long as I play soccer, I'm good. You?"
"I saw this movie with noona once. There's a guy singing onstage and then the people watching him lights up lighters in the crowd! They looked like twinkling stars! And it's all for him!" Jonghyun sounds so excited as if he's the guy onstage. "I wanna be that guy. I want to sing and everyone will be moved by my voice."
"Well, maybe one day you'll see those lighters."
"I will!" The older screams with full determination,"We'll live our dreams, Minho."
"Of course." The usually silent boy smiles at Jonghyun, "Let's go for a swim!" The older yells and is already on his feet, "Last one there is a rotten egg!"
Minho springs up, not saying anything but just keeps running after Jonghyun.
He wins eventually and Jonghyun is the rotten egg.
------
They grow older, Jonghyun's 16 and Minho's 15. They are still under the shade of the same tree, eating popsicle sticks. Both are careful not to let anything spill on their white polos.
A lot has changed. Houses and families grow in numbers. More kids are now playing by the meadows. The serenity and stillness of the afternoon replaced by the bustling and screaming of kids running around. No longer the private sanctuary they had 8 years ago.
Trees grow fewer, birds sing lonelier, and Minho and Jonghyun don't race each other to the lake anymore for a swim.
Talks about the future are forgotten, replaced by anything that amuses them. Nerdy boys who didn't turn out fortunately as good looking as them, the latest video games, the hottest girls.
"How are things with you and Eunsook?" Jonghyun asks with a raised eyebrow as he finishes the last of his popsicle.
"We're fine." If you don't know Minho this reply would be so vague to even count as an answer. But to Jonghyun, this means he's telling the truth. If he sighs first before answering then he's lying.
"Feels nice to date an older girl huh?" Jonghyun prods on, Minho just shrugs. "I mean Eunsook's the hottest girl in high school and she's dating you? A kid in middle school! Are you getting some already?"
"Yeah. She lets me touch her rack once in a while."
"Nice." Jonghyun taps his friend's back as if to say he's proud of him in every way.
"And you? With Gwiboon?"
"She's not putting out." Jonghyun laughs bitterly, "I mean, yeah I get to touch her rack too but I mean, it's not too much to ask for some more. We've been dating half a year!"
Minho laughs with the older, "She's the same age as me, what do you expect?"
"Well, I don't know about you but I'm not leaving this place a virgin!"
"Shall we compete who gets the homerun first?"
"You're on Choi Minho."
They never tell each other who wins anyway.
-----
Two years later they are still under the same exact shade under the oak tree. Jonghyun's 18 and Minho's 17 and the difference between them becomes more evident.
Jonghyun stopped gaining height when he turned 17. Minho's still growing much to his friend's dismay.
Jonghyun's leaning against the tree, Minho watching the horizon beside him. The children who used to play there are replaced by lovers walking along the meadows.
"I'm leaving." Jonghyun speaks, not looking at his bestfriend.
"I know."
"How? I'm only telling you this now."
"You always tell me how badly you want to leave this place."
"Oh." Then Jonghyun laughs heartily, Minho stays silent.
"Aren't you leaving this hell hole?" The older asks with raised eyebrow.
"Where do you plan to go?" Minho changes the subject, "Seoul. I got in! I'm training under a music company." The older answers with utmost excitement.
"Good for you. I'll see you when you debut."
"You sound as if I won't come home here. You can also visit me!"
"But I won't be here."
Jonghyun tilts his head on one side and raises an eyebrow, "Where are you going?"
"Dad's sending me to New York for college. Then I start training."
"Training for?" Jonghyun asks, curiosity evident in his eyes.
"Soccer."
"Why am I only knowing this now!? I mean, fuck. Minho, I know your family's rich and leaving this place is one thing but leaving the country altogether is another!" Jonghyun breaks, he's always been a crybaby and this is nothing new to Minho.
"Calm down, man." Minho pulls his bestfriend into a tight hug.
"I hate you. I fucking hate you!" Jonghyun tells him over and over. Hiccups accompany the tears, matching his fist hitting the taller boy's chest.
"You act like my fucking girlfriend just so you know."
"You're far more important to me than Taeyeon would ever rever you to be."
"I'll try coming home for the summer."
"You'll try!? You won't try. You will." Jonghyun pulls away from Minho staring him down, obviously not taking TRY as an answer.
"Fine. I will." Minho wipes away the tears still running down the older boy's cheeks.
"I will hang you upside down and cut your neck if you don't ever show up!"
"Yes, yes. I heard you the first time."
-----
They graduate a year later and Minho is hanging inside Jonghyun's bedroom. They've been drinking after the graduation ceremony with their respective girlfriends - Sekyung and Taeyeon - then left the party for some bachelor bash resulting to both of them puking on every corner of the streets they walk on.
If getting stone wasted isn't enough here they are now with empty beer cans piling up on one side of the room and all over the floor. Minho is sitting on the floor with his head against the side of the bed while Jonghyun is just sprawled on his chest beside the younger boy.
"Ah fuck." Minho throws his cellphone on the bed, it's been ringing nonstop with his girlfriend's name flashing on the screen."Stop calling me already!" He yells at the said device.
Jonghyun laughs when it's his phone that rings next - it's Sekyung, probably wondering where he is now since he and Minho left their girlfriends to a graduation party saying that they'll come back for them. Obviously they didn't.
Jonghyun answers the phone without much of a hello, "I'm home. Go home and take Taeyeon with you, Minho's with me. Drunk like fuck." And he turns his cellphone off.
The older boy bows down and buries his face on his crossed arms, "When are you leaving?" Jonghyun asks without even looking up.
"In two days. Dad's too eager for me to leave."
Jonghyun tilts his head up and props his chin on the palm of his hand, "You're gonna take up Marketing in New York, right?"
Minho nods.
"That will take at least 4 years, well, you're training at the same time and so it might take longer..."
Minho nods again, which isn't really a good idea since his head's spinning with every bob of his head.
"I won't ever see you again..." Jonghyun sniffles, and then buries his head on his palms, he's crying.
Minho blames the alcohol for added emotional value but he's been used to this - Jonghyun's emotional outbursts every time the older boy is reminded of Minho leaving the country.
"I promised you a thousand times, I'm going home every summer. For Christmas. It's you who'll be busy with your training, future idol!" Minho tries to humor his bestfriend but Jonghyun doesn't stop (he usually does and smiles and stops crying).
Jonghyun rolls over and sits up. He grabs another can of beer and drinks all of its content in one go. Minho does the same, but savors every gulp of the alcoholic drink as if he's sipping wine. Jonghyun grabs another. And another.
Jonghyun downs every can in one go that Minho has to stop him by grabbing his wrist when the older boy tries to get another can, "Hyung, drinking nonstop and getting ass-drunk won't make me turn and stand up to dad and tell him that I'm not going to New York."
"Will this?" Jonghyun grabs on Minho's wrist that's holding him, pulling his bestfriend to a kiss. To say that Minho is surprised is an understatement but it doesn't stop him from pushing it further rather than pulling away with Jonghyun beneath him since the force of the older boy when he pulled Minho caused him to tumble over and fall on top of Jonghyun.
It's sloppy, needy, and they both taste of alcohol. The competitiveness in Minho rules over him and decides to take dominance (even if in their position, being on top is already giving him the upper hand) and licks on Jonghyun lower lip, the slight pause elicits a soft moan from the older male and Minho takes the gap between Jonghyun's lips as an entrance way for his tongue to slip in.
Jonghyun tugs on Minho's hair, pulling him closer, their tongues darting in and out of their lips, licking every surface of the insides of their mouths. Minho breathes Jonghyun's name, and the older fumbles as he tries to remove his bestfriend's shirt, he's too eager to get the article of clothing off that he rips it in half.
"Sorry about that."
"Fuck that." Minho tells him and he kisses Jonghyun again, he slides his arms on the older boy's back and carries him without cutting the kiss. Minho lies the older male on the bed, tossing his god forsaken cellphone that's still ringing and hears it crash into pieces but he ignores it. Jonghyun is much more addicting and needs more attention than that irritating device.
"Fuck, Minho..." Jonghyun moans when the younger slides down to his neck, nibbling on the soft skin leaving him red marks for sure he won't be able to cover without make up.
Like always, Minho is quiet - doesn't ask, doesn't talk dirty, he just moans Jonghyun's name over and over and this makes the older male turned on more and more that his nails are now digging on his best friend's back.
"Do it... Fuck." Jonghyun mumbles, Minho takes it as a go signal to remove the shorter boy's (and his) pants, underwear included. Their throbbing members are already wet with precum, and Minho doesn't even prepare Jonghyun, he just spreads the older's legs apart so he can enter him immediate to satisfy the urge to feel the tightness of his bestfriend.
Jonghyun squirms, he bites his lower lip so hard, it bleeds. Minho leans over and gives him a kiss, "I'm sorry..." He whispers as he slowly thrusts, pushing and pulling out of the man underneath him. The older man doesn't say anything, he just kisses Minho and slides his hand up and down his neglected member, syncing it to the rhythm of Minho's thrusts inside him.
"Fuck..." Jonghyun moans when Minho hits the spot, he pulls the younger male closer with his free arm - sweat, blood and lust overpowering them.
The older calls out for Minho's name over and over, kissing him messily all over and his nails scratching on the taller boy's back.
A few more thrusts and they reach their orgasms - Jonghyun's seeds stick to his hand and their stomachs while Minho's fill him inside.
Minho kisses Jonghyun - softer, apologetic, loving. He pants, heaves and stares at the older male's eyes, "I love you..."
Jonghyun smiles, and gives a swift peck on Minho's lips, "I love you too."
They never realize how this one night will change their lives for a long time.
-----
Jonghyun wakes up with a killer headache. He keeps his eyes closed but the stench of the room doesn't escape his nose. He realizes that he isn't lying on a pillow since it's rising up and down under him. He wakes up and finds himself sleeping on Minho's chest.
Minho's naked chest.
"MINHO!" Jonghyun screams, shaking the boy awake, "MINHO! FUCK! WAKE UP!"
"Good morning to you too." Minho turns away but opens his eyes and springs up immediately when he realizes he's naked and Jonghyun is too. "What the fuck... Happened?"
"YOU FUCKING TELL ME!" Jonghyun panics, he checks the bed and gasps so loudly you'd think he screamed.
The stains on the bed clearly tells them what has transpired, images from last night flashes in their memories as if it's a movie and Jonghyun looks at Minho with wide eyes.
"You remember? Everything...?" Jonghyun asks, his voice insecure, afraid, embarrassed.
"Yes... Every detail. Every word."
"You love me?"
"You love me too?"
"Oh my god."
"This is just..." Minho doesn't complete what he's saying, he jumps off the bed and gathers his clothes. He puts them on and realizes his shirt's been torn in half, he opts to just take his coat on and takes the rest of his stuff. He looks at Jonghyun, "This is a mistake. I just... I'm sorry." And Minho rushes out of the room, Jonghyun hears his bestfriend footsteps running from the outside but his tears are running faster down his cheeks.
"This isn't a mistake..."
The day goes on without hearing anything from Minho, he does however get a call from a crying Taeyeon, "What did I do?! He broke up with me!"
"Why are you telling me this?" Jonghyun is lying on the bed, hasn't showered, hasn't cleaned his room. He just put on a robe and boxers and stays on the bed.
"You're his bestfriend!" Taeyeon is frantic. She and Minho's been dating almost two years now and she even plans on following him in New York once she graduates. Minho's actually excited with her decision and the break up is a huge blow.
"I haven't talked to him since this morning, he hasn't spoken anything about breaking up with you last night."
How could Taeyeon even come to the conversation when it's my name Minho's been calling all night?
"Are you really this cold?" Taeyeon's voice changes, but the sobs doesn't stop. "That's why you're best friends. You're both jerks. Both of you are stupid!" Taeyeon hangs up the phone and Jonghyun just stares at the ceiling after the call.
"We ARE stupid..."
Jonghyun almost jumps off his bed when his bedroom door opens, hoping it's Minho only to lie back down when Sekyung goes inside, "Jonghyun, what are you doing? We're supposed to meet for lunch!"
"Uh-huh. I forgot."
"You forgot? And look at this room! If you're both gonna get drunk, you could have at least gotten Minho to clean up with you."
"You can leave now, Sekyung."
The girl darts her eyes to her boyfriend, not sure if she's heard him right. "What's that?"
"I'm leaving for Seoul, remember? I'm not supposed to have a girlfriend."
"Are you... Breaking up with me?"
"Yes."
He's a douchebag and he knows it. Sekyung's been a wonderful girlfriend, she's always by his side no matter what kind of an asshole he's been for the last 14 months they've been together.
He stays on the bed and his girlfriend is staring him down, "What did I do this time?!"
"It's..."
"Don't even say it. Don't say it's you and not me!"
"But it's true. I'm sorry. There's just something wrong and I can't go on and be with you."
"At least be honest. Don't tell me that it's your training and shit..." Sekyung's crying now, non-stop.
"I'm sorry. You can go." Jonghyun turns away from the girl, and he hears her footsteps running out of his room.
He feels his heart turn heavier and heavier; it's all piling up. The pressure of the coming training, his feelings towards Sekyung, his decision to end it all, Minho.
Everything about Minho right now. And in the future.
He doesn't even remember how he is able to sleep.
-----
"WHAT THE FUCK!?" Jonghyun blurts out when he finds a silhouette sitting on his bed when he wakes up.
"I'm leaving in two hours..." Minho's voice is deep, monotonous, unsure.
Jonghyun sits up, he pulls his knees to his chest, he's just as unsure. He's glad Minho came to say goodbye, but he's afraid that this might be the last.
"...I hope you all the best." Jonghyun mumbles under his breath. His eyes twitch when Minho inches closer to him.
They stay quiet, looking at each other with questions in their eyes. Nobody wants to say anything, afraid that whoever asks a wrong question will tell them their future.
"Jonghyun..." Minho starts, the older tenses up but nods, acknowledging the younger's voice.
"I... Need time to think."
"If you think it's a mistake there's nothing more to think of..."
"That's the problem. It's confusing, I think it's not..." Minho tears his eyes away from Jonghyun, he scans the room, refusing to look at the older male.
"I don't think it is..." Jonghyun replies, so low it's almost a whisper. If Minho didn't look at him, you'd think his voice got carried in the wind.
"I'll have to think..."
"You're free to do so... I'm just glad you didn't leave without saying goodbye."
Minho pulls Jonghyun into a hug and the older breaks, he cries out everything; his fears, his pain, his love. The younger pats Jonghyun's head in attempt to calm him down, and it takes more than 15 minutes before the bawls turn into soft sobs.
"Will you keep your promise...?" Jonghyun asks in between breaths when he pulls away and looks at Minho. The younger smiles slightly and just wipes his bestfriend's face. He stays silent, gives Jonghyun another hug then leaves.
Will you...?
-----
Five years later Jonghyun is preparing for his major solo concert. His training only lasted 3 years, a few years shorter than usual, but his talent and perseverance made his company trust him a lot and he didn't let them down. He even writes his own songs, and for someone so young and talented, the company didn't let Jonghyun down as well. They didn't insist him to be an idol, he becomes a balladeer and for two years, after his debut, he sings about lost love, love from a distance, unsure love. He never sings about happy endings, he sings about waiting. He sings these songs hoping Minho would hear.
He tells himself that Minho got abducted by aliens when the younger male never came home for the summer. Or Christmas. Or any instances at all.
Jonghyun's still stupid, as he himself thinks. There are nights he'd tell himself it's enough; that Minho will never come back. Ever since the night he left, he has never heard from him personally. His only information comes from his own mother since both their mothers still talk back home. But most nights he tells himself that the smile Minho left him is hope that yeah, he will be back. Maybe without a definite date, but he will.
"Ready?"
Jonghyun looks at the PD standing by his dressing room door. He smiles, "Yeah. Ready."
The PD leaves him and he stares at the mirror, "Enough now..." He fixes his hair then leaves the room, he makes his way to the stage and starts his show.
Jonghyun sings with all his soul, interacting with his fans once in a while. He answers questions about his inspirations for his songs, and he just tells them that it's from observing people, and he lies that everything came from his past. His fans tell him that they hope he finds love soon, and he tells them that when he sings a song with a happy ending, he's in love.
He sings more than 10 songs and he prepares for his last. It's his no. 1 hit song about hope, of promises, of love without closure. It's about friendship taking a wrong turn and he's left behind to wonder.
It's the last chorus, he sings from the heart and he tears up when a single lighter lights up in front. He looks at the person holding it up and fights the urge to jump to the person for doing this to him at his own concert. The audience does the same and everyone is holding their lighters up in the hall.
"I wanna be that guy. I want to sing and everyone will be moved by my voice."
"Well, maybe one day you'll see those lighters."
The concert ends and one by one the audience leaves. Jonghyun cannot be contained inside his dressing room. He hopes all well wishers will leave him alone. His sponsors to leave the dressing room. He needs to get out of the place.
"Where are you going? There's an after party, be there." His manager stops him when he finds Jonghyun running out of his dressing room.
"I don't think I'll be there. I'm sorry. I need to find someone!" Jonghyun runs past him and around the hall, but the person isn't there.
He could be wrong, it's dark anyway. He must be hallucinating and he's thinking too much. Jonghyun walks to the parking with his head low, he's just gonna go home and get something to drink.
Jonghyun stops short when he finds someone waiting by the parking lot, he's not sure whether he's assuming too much again, it's a risk (this might be a killer out to get him for all he knows) but there's something inside that tell him it's the person he's been waiting for all these years.
And he is.
"Minho...?"
The guy turns around, Jonghyun observes him from under the street lamp. He's still taller than him, no longer lanky. He's well built and his hair is longer and tied in a messy pony tail. His eyes are still big and Jonghyun knows that he still loves him.
"It's you, right?" Jonghyun asks again when the other male doesn't speak.
"Who else would it be? I'm the only one who knows your cheesy dream."
Jonghyun covers his mouth with his hand, Minho steps closer and hugs him tight, "Don't cry, please...?" But of course Jonghyun does anyway, earning giggles from the younger boy.
"You never changed, Jonghyun..."
Jonghyun pushes him away, he stares at the younger, questions are running in his head. He wants to ask everything, he wants to be angry, he wants to shout, he wants to actually punch him in the face. But he doesn't. He smiles and almost chokes when he speaks.
"Welcome back..."
"I'm back. For good."
"I... I see."
Then silence. It's like they're back in Jonghyun's old bedroom - confused, insecure, scared. But the older doesn't want it to end like his songs anymore; unanswered.
"Were you able to think?" He finally asks, ready for any answer. It's been five years and Minho's response will be all he need for closure.
"Yeah. Thought about it a lot that I dropped out of my training and focused on my major."
"You dropped out of training?!" Jonghyun blurts out as he wipes the dried up tears on his cheeks, "Soccer is your dream."
"It was my dream."
"We promised to live our dreams... I'm living mine..."
Minho steps closer, invading Jonghyun's personal space, "If you'll be with me, I will live my own dream."
"What do you mean...?"
"You are my dream now, Jonghyun. I wanted you to be successful, I didn't want to hinder you and I'm sorry I didn't show myself to you like I promised... But I heard you. Your voice and all your songs, I heard them all."
"Your dream is way cheesier than mine..." Jonghyun tells him with a smile, "But I'm all yours."
"Glad to hear that." Minho inches closer and gives him a kiss, "And I'm sorry. You're not a mistake. Never a mistake..."
"We'll have a lot of time to talk about the past, and the future. But our 'now'? it's what's more important." Jonghyun explains, Minho kisses him again.
"If you say so."
"Let's go? It's getting cold." The older male offers his hand, and Minho takes it.
It's been a long time, it's almost hopeless. Jonghyun knows that one day he and Minho will talk about his long absence, maybe even argue about it, but it doesn't matter at this moment. Not when their dreams are turning into reality.
--------------------------------------------
Author's Notes: Again, I apologize. I have no idea what possessed me to write that smut part. It surprised me, and my friend who wrote the smut part for IT HAD TO BE YOU. Tell me what you guys think, okay?
Chapters: Oneshot
Author: paranoiascreams
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut
Warning: unbeta'd
Rating: Overall PG-13 but NC-17 (for the smut)
Pairings/Characters: Minho x Jonghyun, Minho and Jonghyun with various girl!SHINee. XD
Synopsis: Jonghyun downs every can in one go that Minho has to stop him by grabbing his wrist when the older boy tries to get another can, "Hyung, drinking nonstop and getting ass-drunk won't make me turn and stand up to dad and tell him that I'm not going to New York."
Disclaimer: I HAVE NEVER WRITTEN SMUT IN ALL MY WORKS. PARDON ME. i know. I failed.
They stay sprawled on the green grass under the shade of the big oak tree. Mud cover their barefeet, dirt smudge their faces and sweat trail down their necks.
The sun is still high up. It's the summer and even in this heat, these kids would rather play outside than stay cooped inside their respective houses.
The chirping of very few birds echo the stillness of the meadow. The heaving of breaths join the animals in chorus.
"That was fun." The older boy speaks, laughing as he scratches his nose. A habit he's been trying to let go of but just couldn't.
"Yeah." The other agrees. The younger of the two has always been reserved - the exact opposite of his playmate.
Jonghyun's 8 and Minho is 7. Even with a year difference, they attend the same class, with Minho entering school a year ahead than usual children would.
They live in the rural area up north. It's a place where neighbors live 5 meters away from each other, with a population of less than a thousand families - Minho and Jonghyun are lucky enough to live a few meters away from the meadows and almost next to each others' houses with a good 2 meter distance.
"Minho?"
"Hmn?"
"What do you wanna be when we grow up?"
"I dunno. As long as I play soccer, I'm good. You?"
"I saw this movie with noona once. There's a guy singing onstage and then the people watching him lights up lighters in the crowd! They looked like twinkling stars! And it's all for him!" Jonghyun sounds so excited as if he's the guy onstage. "I wanna be that guy. I want to sing and everyone will be moved by my voice."
"Well, maybe one day you'll see those lighters."
"I will!" The older screams with full determination,"We'll live our dreams, Minho."
"Of course." The usually silent boy smiles at Jonghyun, "Let's go for a swim!" The older yells and is already on his feet, "Last one there is a rotten egg!"
Minho springs up, not saying anything but just keeps running after Jonghyun.
He wins eventually and Jonghyun is the rotten egg.
------
They grow older, Jonghyun's 16 and Minho's 15. They are still under the shade of the same tree, eating popsicle sticks. Both are careful not to let anything spill on their white polos.
A lot has changed. Houses and families grow in numbers. More kids are now playing by the meadows. The serenity and stillness of the afternoon replaced by the bustling and screaming of kids running around. No longer the private sanctuary they had 8 years ago.
Trees grow fewer, birds sing lonelier, and Minho and Jonghyun don't race each other to the lake anymore for a swim.
Talks about the future are forgotten, replaced by anything that amuses them. Nerdy boys who didn't turn out fortunately as good looking as them, the latest video games, the hottest girls.
"How are things with you and Eunsook?" Jonghyun asks with a raised eyebrow as he finishes the last of his popsicle.
"We're fine." If you don't know Minho this reply would be so vague to even count as an answer. But to Jonghyun, this means he's telling the truth. If he sighs first before answering then he's lying.
"Feels nice to date an older girl huh?" Jonghyun prods on, Minho just shrugs. "I mean Eunsook's the hottest girl in high school and she's dating you? A kid in middle school! Are you getting some already?"
"Yeah. She lets me touch her rack once in a while."
"Nice." Jonghyun taps his friend's back as if to say he's proud of him in every way.
"And you? With Gwiboon?"
"She's not putting out." Jonghyun laughs bitterly, "I mean, yeah I get to touch her rack too but I mean, it's not too much to ask for some more. We've been dating half a year!"
Minho laughs with the older, "She's the same age as me, what do you expect?"
"Well, I don't know about you but I'm not leaving this place a virgin!"
"Shall we compete who gets the homerun first?"
"You're on Choi Minho."
They never tell each other who wins anyway.
-----
Two years later they are still under the same exact shade under the oak tree. Jonghyun's 18 and Minho's 17 and the difference between them becomes more evident.
Jonghyun stopped gaining height when he turned 17. Minho's still growing much to his friend's dismay.
Jonghyun's leaning against the tree, Minho watching the horizon beside him. The children who used to play there are replaced by lovers walking along the meadows.
"I'm leaving." Jonghyun speaks, not looking at his bestfriend.
"I know."
"How? I'm only telling you this now."
"You always tell me how badly you want to leave this place."
"Oh." Then Jonghyun laughs heartily, Minho stays silent.
"Aren't you leaving this hell hole?" The older asks with raised eyebrow.
"Where do you plan to go?" Minho changes the subject, "Seoul. I got in! I'm training under a music company." The older answers with utmost excitement.
"Good for you. I'll see you when you debut."
"You sound as if I won't come home here. You can also visit me!"
"But I won't be here."
Jonghyun tilts his head on one side and raises an eyebrow, "Where are you going?"
"Dad's sending me to New York for college. Then I start training."
"Training for?" Jonghyun asks, curiosity evident in his eyes.
"Soccer."
"Why am I only knowing this now!? I mean, fuck. Minho, I know your family's rich and leaving this place is one thing but leaving the country altogether is another!" Jonghyun breaks, he's always been a crybaby and this is nothing new to Minho.
"Calm down, man." Minho pulls his bestfriend into a tight hug.
"I hate you. I fucking hate you!" Jonghyun tells him over and over. Hiccups accompany the tears, matching his fist hitting the taller boy's chest.
"You act like my fucking girlfriend just so you know."
"You're far more important to me than Taeyeon would ever rever you to be."
"I'll try coming home for the summer."
"You'll try!? You won't try. You will." Jonghyun pulls away from Minho staring him down, obviously not taking TRY as an answer.
"Fine. I will." Minho wipes away the tears still running down the older boy's cheeks.
"I will hang you upside down and cut your neck if you don't ever show up!"
"Yes, yes. I heard you the first time."
-----
They graduate a year later and Minho is hanging inside Jonghyun's bedroom. They've been drinking after the graduation ceremony with their respective girlfriends - Sekyung and Taeyeon - then left the party for some bachelor bash resulting to both of them puking on every corner of the streets they walk on.
If getting stone wasted isn't enough here they are now with empty beer cans piling up on one side of the room and all over the floor. Minho is sitting on the floor with his head against the side of the bed while Jonghyun is just sprawled on his chest beside the younger boy.
"Ah fuck." Minho throws his cellphone on the bed, it's been ringing nonstop with his girlfriend's name flashing on the screen."Stop calling me already!" He yells at the said device.
Jonghyun laughs when it's his phone that rings next - it's Sekyung, probably wondering where he is now since he and Minho left their girlfriends to a graduation party saying that they'll come back for them. Obviously they didn't.
Jonghyun answers the phone without much of a hello, "I'm home. Go home and take Taeyeon with you, Minho's with me. Drunk like fuck." And he turns his cellphone off.
The older boy bows down and buries his face on his crossed arms, "When are you leaving?" Jonghyun asks without even looking up.
"In two days. Dad's too eager for me to leave."
Jonghyun tilts his head up and props his chin on the palm of his hand, "You're gonna take up Marketing in New York, right?"
Minho nods.
"That will take at least 4 years, well, you're training at the same time and so it might take longer..."
Minho nods again, which isn't really a good idea since his head's spinning with every bob of his head.
"I won't ever see you again..." Jonghyun sniffles, and then buries his head on his palms, he's crying.
Minho blames the alcohol for added emotional value but he's been used to this - Jonghyun's emotional outbursts every time the older boy is reminded of Minho leaving the country.
"I promised you a thousand times, I'm going home every summer. For Christmas. It's you who'll be busy with your training, future idol!" Minho tries to humor his bestfriend but Jonghyun doesn't stop (he usually does and smiles and stops crying).
Jonghyun rolls over and sits up. He grabs another can of beer and drinks all of its content in one go. Minho does the same, but savors every gulp of the alcoholic drink as if he's sipping wine. Jonghyun grabs another. And another.
Jonghyun downs every can in one go that Minho has to stop him by grabbing his wrist when the older boy tries to get another can, "Hyung, drinking nonstop and getting ass-drunk won't make me turn and stand up to dad and tell him that I'm not going to New York."
"Will this?" Jonghyun grabs on Minho's wrist that's holding him, pulling his bestfriend to a kiss. To say that Minho is surprised is an understatement but it doesn't stop him from pushing it further rather than pulling away with Jonghyun beneath him since the force of the older boy when he pulled Minho caused him to tumble over and fall on top of Jonghyun.
It's sloppy, needy, and they both taste of alcohol. The competitiveness in Minho rules over him and decides to take dominance (even if in their position, being on top is already giving him the upper hand) and licks on Jonghyun lower lip, the slight pause elicits a soft moan from the older male and Minho takes the gap between Jonghyun's lips as an entrance way for his tongue to slip in.
Jonghyun tugs on Minho's hair, pulling him closer, their tongues darting in and out of their lips, licking every surface of the insides of their mouths. Minho breathes Jonghyun's name, and the older fumbles as he tries to remove his bestfriend's shirt, he's too eager to get the article of clothing off that he rips it in half.
"Sorry about that."
"Fuck that." Minho tells him and he kisses Jonghyun again, he slides his arms on the older boy's back and carries him without cutting the kiss. Minho lies the older male on the bed, tossing his god forsaken cellphone that's still ringing and hears it crash into pieces but he ignores it. Jonghyun is much more addicting and needs more attention than that irritating device.
"Fuck, Minho..." Jonghyun moans when the younger slides down to his neck, nibbling on the soft skin leaving him red marks for sure he won't be able to cover without make up.
Like always, Minho is quiet - doesn't ask, doesn't talk dirty, he just moans Jonghyun's name over and over and this makes the older male turned on more and more that his nails are now digging on his best friend's back.
"Do it... Fuck." Jonghyun mumbles, Minho takes it as a go signal to remove the shorter boy's (and his) pants, underwear included. Their throbbing members are already wet with precum, and Minho doesn't even prepare Jonghyun, he just spreads the older's legs apart so he can enter him immediate to satisfy the urge to feel the tightness of his bestfriend.
Jonghyun squirms, he bites his lower lip so hard, it bleeds. Minho leans over and gives him a kiss, "I'm sorry..." He whispers as he slowly thrusts, pushing and pulling out of the man underneath him. The older man doesn't say anything, he just kisses Minho and slides his hand up and down his neglected member, syncing it to the rhythm of Minho's thrusts inside him.
"Fuck..." Jonghyun moans when Minho hits the spot, he pulls the younger male closer with his free arm - sweat, blood and lust overpowering them.
The older calls out for Minho's name over and over, kissing him messily all over and his nails scratching on the taller boy's back.
A few more thrusts and they reach their orgasms - Jonghyun's seeds stick to his hand and their stomachs while Minho's fill him inside.
Minho kisses Jonghyun - softer, apologetic, loving. He pants, heaves and stares at the older male's eyes, "I love you..."
Jonghyun smiles, and gives a swift peck on Minho's lips, "I love you too."
They never realize how this one night will change their lives for a long time.
-----
Jonghyun wakes up with a killer headache. He keeps his eyes closed but the stench of the room doesn't escape his nose. He realizes that he isn't lying on a pillow since it's rising up and down under him. He wakes up and finds himself sleeping on Minho's chest.
Minho's naked chest.
"MINHO!" Jonghyun screams, shaking the boy awake, "MINHO! FUCK! WAKE UP!"
"Good morning to you too." Minho turns away but opens his eyes and springs up immediately when he realizes he's naked and Jonghyun is too. "What the fuck... Happened?"
"YOU FUCKING TELL ME!" Jonghyun panics, he checks the bed and gasps so loudly you'd think he screamed.
The stains on the bed clearly tells them what has transpired, images from last night flashes in their memories as if it's a movie and Jonghyun looks at Minho with wide eyes.
"You remember? Everything...?" Jonghyun asks, his voice insecure, afraid, embarrassed.
"Yes... Every detail. Every word."
"You love me?"
"You love me too?"
"Oh my god."
"This is just..." Minho doesn't complete what he's saying, he jumps off the bed and gathers his clothes. He puts them on and realizes his shirt's been torn in half, he opts to just take his coat on and takes the rest of his stuff. He looks at Jonghyun, "This is a mistake. I just... I'm sorry." And Minho rushes out of the room, Jonghyun hears his bestfriend footsteps running from the outside but his tears are running faster down his cheeks.
"This isn't a mistake..."
The day goes on without hearing anything from Minho, he does however get a call from a crying Taeyeon, "What did I do?! He broke up with me!"
"Why are you telling me this?" Jonghyun is lying on the bed, hasn't showered, hasn't cleaned his room. He just put on a robe and boxers and stays on the bed.
"You're his bestfriend!" Taeyeon is frantic. She and Minho's been dating almost two years now and she even plans on following him in New York once she graduates. Minho's actually excited with her decision and the break up is a huge blow.
"I haven't talked to him since this morning, he hasn't spoken anything about breaking up with you last night."
How could Taeyeon even come to the conversation when it's my name Minho's been calling all night?
"Are you really this cold?" Taeyeon's voice changes, but the sobs doesn't stop. "That's why you're best friends. You're both jerks. Both of you are stupid!" Taeyeon hangs up the phone and Jonghyun just stares at the ceiling after the call.
"We ARE stupid..."
Jonghyun almost jumps off his bed when his bedroom door opens, hoping it's Minho only to lie back down when Sekyung goes inside, "Jonghyun, what are you doing? We're supposed to meet for lunch!"
"Uh-huh. I forgot."
"You forgot? And look at this room! If you're both gonna get drunk, you could have at least gotten Minho to clean up with you."
"You can leave now, Sekyung."
The girl darts her eyes to her boyfriend, not sure if she's heard him right. "What's that?"
"I'm leaving for Seoul, remember? I'm not supposed to have a girlfriend."
"Are you... Breaking up with me?"
"Yes."
He's a douchebag and he knows it. Sekyung's been a wonderful girlfriend, she's always by his side no matter what kind of an asshole he's been for the last 14 months they've been together.
He stays on the bed and his girlfriend is staring him down, "What did I do this time?!"
"It's..."
"Don't even say it. Don't say it's you and not me!"
"But it's true. I'm sorry. There's just something wrong and I can't go on and be with you."
"At least be honest. Don't tell me that it's your training and shit..." Sekyung's crying now, non-stop.
"I'm sorry. You can go." Jonghyun turns away from the girl, and he hears her footsteps running out of his room.
He feels his heart turn heavier and heavier; it's all piling up. The pressure of the coming training, his feelings towards Sekyung, his decision to end it all, Minho.
Everything about Minho right now. And in the future.
He doesn't even remember how he is able to sleep.
-----
"WHAT THE FUCK!?" Jonghyun blurts out when he finds a silhouette sitting on his bed when he wakes up.
"I'm leaving in two hours..." Minho's voice is deep, monotonous, unsure.
Jonghyun sits up, he pulls his knees to his chest, he's just as unsure. He's glad Minho came to say goodbye, but he's afraid that this might be the last.
"...I hope you all the best." Jonghyun mumbles under his breath. His eyes twitch when Minho inches closer to him.
They stay quiet, looking at each other with questions in their eyes. Nobody wants to say anything, afraid that whoever asks a wrong question will tell them their future.
"Jonghyun..." Minho starts, the older tenses up but nods, acknowledging the younger's voice.
"I... Need time to think."
"If you think it's a mistake there's nothing more to think of..."
"That's the problem. It's confusing, I think it's not..." Minho tears his eyes away from Jonghyun, he scans the room, refusing to look at the older male.
"I don't think it is..." Jonghyun replies, so low it's almost a whisper. If Minho didn't look at him, you'd think his voice got carried in the wind.
"I'll have to think..."
"You're free to do so... I'm just glad you didn't leave without saying goodbye."
Minho pulls Jonghyun into a hug and the older breaks, he cries out everything; his fears, his pain, his love. The younger pats Jonghyun's head in attempt to calm him down, and it takes more than 15 minutes before the bawls turn into soft sobs.
"Will you keep your promise...?" Jonghyun asks in between breaths when he pulls away and looks at Minho. The younger smiles slightly and just wipes his bestfriend's face. He stays silent, gives Jonghyun another hug then leaves.
Will you...?
-----
Five years later Jonghyun is preparing for his major solo concert. His training only lasted 3 years, a few years shorter than usual, but his talent and perseverance made his company trust him a lot and he didn't let them down. He even writes his own songs, and for someone so young and talented, the company didn't let Jonghyun down as well. They didn't insist him to be an idol, he becomes a balladeer and for two years, after his debut, he sings about lost love, love from a distance, unsure love. He never sings about happy endings, he sings about waiting. He sings these songs hoping Minho would hear.
He tells himself that Minho got abducted by aliens when the younger male never came home for the summer. Or Christmas. Or any instances at all.
Jonghyun's still stupid, as he himself thinks. There are nights he'd tell himself it's enough; that Minho will never come back. Ever since the night he left, he has never heard from him personally. His only information comes from his own mother since both their mothers still talk back home. But most nights he tells himself that the smile Minho left him is hope that yeah, he will be back. Maybe without a definite date, but he will.
"Ready?"
Jonghyun looks at the PD standing by his dressing room door. He smiles, "Yeah. Ready."
The PD leaves him and he stares at the mirror, "Enough now..." He fixes his hair then leaves the room, he makes his way to the stage and starts his show.
Jonghyun sings with all his soul, interacting with his fans once in a while. He answers questions about his inspirations for his songs, and he just tells them that it's from observing people, and he lies that everything came from his past. His fans tell him that they hope he finds love soon, and he tells them that when he sings a song with a happy ending, he's in love.
He sings more than 10 songs and he prepares for his last. It's his no. 1 hit song about hope, of promises, of love without closure. It's about friendship taking a wrong turn and he's left behind to wonder.
It's the last chorus, he sings from the heart and he tears up when a single lighter lights up in front. He looks at the person holding it up and fights the urge to jump to the person for doing this to him at his own concert. The audience does the same and everyone is holding their lighters up in the hall.
"I wanna be that guy. I want to sing and everyone will be moved by my voice."
"Well, maybe one day you'll see those lighters."
The concert ends and one by one the audience leaves. Jonghyun cannot be contained inside his dressing room. He hopes all well wishers will leave him alone. His sponsors to leave the dressing room. He needs to get out of the place.
"Where are you going? There's an after party, be there." His manager stops him when he finds Jonghyun running out of his dressing room.
"I don't think I'll be there. I'm sorry. I need to find someone!" Jonghyun runs past him and around the hall, but the person isn't there.
He could be wrong, it's dark anyway. He must be hallucinating and he's thinking too much. Jonghyun walks to the parking with his head low, he's just gonna go home and get something to drink.
Jonghyun stops short when he finds someone waiting by the parking lot, he's not sure whether he's assuming too much again, it's a risk (this might be a killer out to get him for all he knows) but there's something inside that tell him it's the person he's been waiting for all these years.
And he is.
"Minho...?"
The guy turns around, Jonghyun observes him from under the street lamp. He's still taller than him, no longer lanky. He's well built and his hair is longer and tied in a messy pony tail. His eyes are still big and Jonghyun knows that he still loves him.
"It's you, right?" Jonghyun asks again when the other male doesn't speak.
"Who else would it be? I'm the only one who knows your cheesy dream."
Jonghyun covers his mouth with his hand, Minho steps closer and hugs him tight, "Don't cry, please...?" But of course Jonghyun does anyway, earning giggles from the younger boy.
"You never changed, Jonghyun..."
Jonghyun pushes him away, he stares at the younger, questions are running in his head. He wants to ask everything, he wants to be angry, he wants to shout, he wants to actually punch him in the face. But he doesn't. He smiles and almost chokes when he speaks.
"Welcome back..."
"I'm back. For good."
"I... I see."
Then silence. It's like they're back in Jonghyun's old bedroom - confused, insecure, scared. But the older doesn't want it to end like his songs anymore; unanswered.
"Were you able to think?" He finally asks, ready for any answer. It's been five years and Minho's response will be all he need for closure.
"Yeah. Thought about it a lot that I dropped out of my training and focused on my major."
"You dropped out of training?!" Jonghyun blurts out as he wipes the dried up tears on his cheeks, "Soccer is your dream."
"It was my dream."
"We promised to live our dreams... I'm living mine..."
Minho steps closer, invading Jonghyun's personal space, "If you'll be with me, I will live my own dream."
"What do you mean...?"
"You are my dream now, Jonghyun. I wanted you to be successful, I didn't want to hinder you and I'm sorry I didn't show myself to you like I promised... But I heard you. Your voice and all your songs, I heard them all."
"Your dream is way cheesier than mine..." Jonghyun tells him with a smile, "But I'm all yours."
"Glad to hear that." Minho inches closer and gives him a kiss, "And I'm sorry. You're not a mistake. Never a mistake..."
"We'll have a lot of time to talk about the past, and the future. But our 'now'? it's what's more important." Jonghyun explains, Minho kisses him again.
"If you say so."
"Let's go? It's getting cold." The older male offers his hand, and Minho takes it.
It's been a long time, it's almost hopeless. Jonghyun knows that one day he and Minho will talk about his long absence, maybe even argue about it, but it doesn't matter at this moment. Not when their dreams are turning into reality.
--------------------------------------------
Author's Notes: Again, I apologize. I have no idea what possessed me to write that smut part. It surprised me, and my friend who wrote the smut part for IT HAD TO BE YOU. Tell me what you guys think, okay?