Turning My Safety Off - Tora x Saga - Oneshot
Title: Turning My Safety Off
Author: paranoiascreams
Chapters: oneshot
Genre: Angst, Fluff
Pairing: Tora x Saga
Rating: PG - 13
Warning: unbeta'd, narrative-driven.
Disclaimer: I would probably be rich as hell if i own these boys.
Summary: They never agreed to be friends with benefits, but there are times it just happens, who started it, they cant seem to remember, were they drunk or sober when they started kissing one night many months ago, none of them can recall.
Comments: Written for week 23 of aliceinfiction, A Bittersweet Hangover.
Saga, Tora and Hiroto are drinking beers while lounging on the bassist's living room, Shou and Nao decided to just sleep on Saga's guestroom after the celebration of his birthday has ended yet the three others left decided to finish the rest of the bottles they havent consumed.
"Ahhh. This feels nice after a long day, ne?" Tora exclaims as he drinks his 5th bottle of beer.
"I dont think I can keep up with the both of you, this will be my last." Hiroto tells them, a little drunk after drinking half a bottle of his 4th.
"Well, finish that and you can get some rest with Nao and Shou." Saga smiles, eating the strawberry shortcake the guys gave him earlier.
"Give me some of that." Tora commanded, Saga spoonfeeds him and then eats another bite for himself.
"Are you two together?" Hiroto innocently asks after watching the two share the same fork.
"No. We're not. You're so cute." Saga answers, spoonfeeding Tora with the cake, Tora nods in agreement while chewing on the food.
"That's like... kissing indirectly. I mean... I know you two are close but..."
"We're just good friends. Right, Tora?"
"Right." Tora smiles and drinks his 6th bottle of beer. Right.
"If you say so. Man. I'm out. I'm turning in." Hiroto stands up from the floor, almost falling, he laughs at his clumsiness and tells pair good night and heads to where Shou and Nao were.
"How many beers left?" Tora asked.
"About 6? We can finish that up."
"Bring it on."
Saga sits closer to Tora, downing another bottle of alcohol. Tora looks at him with intent eyes. "Mind if I turn on the lampshade instead? The flourescent light's hurting my eyes." Saga asks, Tora just nods. Saga gets up and walks towards the lampshade atop a small bookshelf.
The dim orange glow from the lamp shade lights against Saga's body, as if a wonderful silhouette is walking across the room when he gets back beside Tora.
"Saga... what are we?"
"Good friends. Right?"
"... Are we always gonna be just good friends? Come on, Saga. We both know what we sometimes do is not what normal friends do."
"So we have sex once in awhile, come on. We know we both need the release once in awhile."
"I dont just 'release'..." Tora mumbles, opening up another bottle of beer.
They never agreed to be friends with benefits, but there are times it just happens, who started it, they cant seem to remember, were they drunk or sober when they started kissing one night many months ago, none of them can recall.
But they're just friends.
"Look, Tora. We can always stop what we do."
"Do you want to stop?" Tora looks at Saga, who in turn just shrugged his shoulders. The bassist wasnt actually sure if he wants to.
"Let's just enjoy what we have, Tora. When we found the people we fall in love with...." Saga snickers, "I cant believe I'm talking about love. Anyway, when we do, we can always stop."
Tora clenches his fist. Breathing heavily, he was glad the lights are dim, he cant let Saga see him becoming vulnerable to the bassist's words. He wont allow that to himself, but it's getting into him.
"I cant enjoy this anymore, Saga."
"Then we're stopping."
"I dont want this to stop either."
"You're fucking confusing, Tora." Saga rolls his eyes, and finishes the bottle that has warmed up on his hand ever since he and Tora started to talk.
"Why dont you believe in love? It can happen."
"Love is just a thought embedded to our heads by the people in Disney. There are no happy endings. Tora, you sound weird."
Tora finishes his bottle, his head's starting to spin and he cant control his thoughts, his words and his emotions anymore. It might be the alcohol kicking in, or Tora just wants to tell Saga everything.
"Dont you fucking get it? Come on, Saga. Fuck."
"What the hell, Tora?"
Tora tried hard not to fall in love with Saga. He swears he tried his best to put his defenses up and not allow himself be as vulnerable as he is becoming, but he cant always be on guard forever, when it's only him fighting, but with every touch, every kiss, every time he wakes up naked next to him, slowly, his defenses are deteriorating.
"I fucking fell in love with you Saga."
Saga laughs softly, sarcastically, "Are you kidding? You dont have to lie to get laid. We can do it in my room without this 'love' fiasco."
"I dont want a quick fuck tonight. I want you to listen and see that I cant keep doing this with you because I am in love with you and i cant keep playing with you. I cant enjoy this... but i dont want to stop, because i am pathetic and if a quick fuck with you is the only time i can hold you and feel you against me, i will do it. But believe me... i am not as unemotional as you think i am." Tora stands up from his seat, he almost falls over from the sudden movement, alcohol kicks in more.
"Where are you going?"
"Home. I cant stay tonight. I dont think i should ever be here again."
"Stay. Please." Saga grabs on his wrist, stopping him from taking another step.
"Why?"
"Just... stay." Saga leads the taller man to his bedroom, where Tora lies down to his bed with Saga beside him. Tora feels his ego being beaten up by Saga again, he's this vulnerable to him now. He just lashed out everything on the bassist but here he is in his bedroom again.
But Tora was actually surprised Saga didnt make a move, they just stayed lying beside each other, looking up the ceiling of the bassist's bedroom, saying nothing. Eventually Tora has fallen asleep.
-----
Tora wakes up with a massive hangover, he can feel his head splitting up, he opens his eyes to see Saga staring at him. The alcohol has subsided from both of them and the reality of what happened last night is starting to kick Tora in the head. He turns his gaze away from Saga.
"...Is it true? What you said last night?" Saga asks, still looking at Tora.
"Yeah. But just forget it. Think of it like... a drunkard mumbling incoherent words."
"... I dont want to."
"Look." Tora finally looks at Saga, "I've already become this weak for you. Dont add my feelings towards you to the game, that will be unfair."
"I'm not gonna add it to the game Tora. I'm not that kind of monster you think I am... I'm not the total happy ending destroyer Disney created too. I dont want to be killed in the end of the story."
"... Get to the point Saga."
"I watched you sleep all night Tora. I never knew how peaceful you look in slumber. I didnt get tired looking at you and I dont think I ever will, and the thought of losing you beside me is kind of scary. Every story has it's redemption, right? I mean... im not good with love. Never believed in it, and i never knew how it truly felt, until the thought of losing you now... I never felt this way in the past with the ex boyfriends i dated. It just wasnt the same. I never felt the need to be with somebody this bad until you..."
Tora pulls Saga close to him, kissing Saga's temple, "See how ive become a weakling for you...? Damn it Saga..."
Saga smiles, "I can hear your heartbeat Tora... It sounds calming... I love it..."
Saga falls asleep, Tora gives him a kiss on the head.
Every villain in Disney stories may be dead in the end, but this is no fairy tale.
This is their story and it's only just beginning.
-------------------------
Author's Notes: Did the story make sense? Did the last lines make sense? Did I even give justice to the challenge? Wow. I never questioned myself this much with a story. Anyway, I hope I delivered. I kinda like the thought of this story i just dont know if i am able to get it across to you guys. Comments are appreciated and loved. ^_^
Author: paranoiascreams
Chapters: oneshot
Genre: Angst, Fluff
Pairing: Tora x Saga
Rating: PG - 13
Warning: unbeta'd, narrative-driven.
Disclaimer: I would probably be rich as hell if i own these boys.
Summary: They never agreed to be friends with benefits, but there are times it just happens, who started it, they cant seem to remember, were they drunk or sober when they started kissing one night many months ago, none of them can recall.
Comments: Written for week 23 of aliceinfiction, A Bittersweet Hangover.
Saga, Tora and Hiroto are drinking beers while lounging on the bassist's living room, Shou and Nao decided to just sleep on Saga's guestroom after the celebration of his birthday has ended yet the three others left decided to finish the rest of the bottles they havent consumed.
"Ahhh. This feels nice after a long day, ne?" Tora exclaims as he drinks his 5th bottle of beer.
"I dont think I can keep up with the both of you, this will be my last." Hiroto tells them, a little drunk after drinking half a bottle of his 4th.
"Well, finish that and you can get some rest with Nao and Shou." Saga smiles, eating the strawberry shortcake the guys gave him earlier.
"Give me some of that." Tora commanded, Saga spoonfeeds him and then eats another bite for himself.
"Are you two together?" Hiroto innocently asks after watching the two share the same fork.
"No. We're not. You're so cute." Saga answers, spoonfeeding Tora with the cake, Tora nods in agreement while chewing on the food.
"That's like... kissing indirectly. I mean... I know you two are close but..."
"We're just good friends. Right, Tora?"
"Right." Tora smiles and drinks his 6th bottle of beer. Right.
"If you say so. Man. I'm out. I'm turning in." Hiroto stands up from the floor, almost falling, he laughs at his clumsiness and tells pair good night and heads to where Shou and Nao were.
"How many beers left?" Tora asked.
"About 6? We can finish that up."
"Bring it on."
Saga sits closer to Tora, downing another bottle of alcohol. Tora looks at him with intent eyes. "Mind if I turn on the lampshade instead? The flourescent light's hurting my eyes." Saga asks, Tora just nods. Saga gets up and walks towards the lampshade atop a small bookshelf.
The dim orange glow from the lamp shade lights against Saga's body, as if a wonderful silhouette is walking across the room when he gets back beside Tora.
"Saga... what are we?"
"Good friends. Right?"
"... Are we always gonna be just good friends? Come on, Saga. We both know what we sometimes do is not what normal friends do."
"So we have sex once in awhile, come on. We know we both need the release once in awhile."
"I dont just 'release'..." Tora mumbles, opening up another bottle of beer.
They never agreed to be friends with benefits, but there are times it just happens, who started it, they cant seem to remember, were they drunk or sober when they started kissing one night many months ago, none of them can recall.
But they're just friends.
"Look, Tora. We can always stop what we do."
"Do you want to stop?" Tora looks at Saga, who in turn just shrugged his shoulders. The bassist wasnt actually sure if he wants to.
"Let's just enjoy what we have, Tora. When we found the people we fall in love with...." Saga snickers, "I cant believe I'm talking about love. Anyway, when we do, we can always stop."
Tora clenches his fist. Breathing heavily, he was glad the lights are dim, he cant let Saga see him becoming vulnerable to the bassist's words. He wont allow that to himself, but it's getting into him.
"I cant enjoy this anymore, Saga."
"Then we're stopping."
"I dont want this to stop either."
"You're fucking confusing, Tora." Saga rolls his eyes, and finishes the bottle that has warmed up on his hand ever since he and Tora started to talk.
"Why dont you believe in love? It can happen."
"Love is just a thought embedded to our heads by the people in Disney. There are no happy endings. Tora, you sound weird."
Tora finishes his bottle, his head's starting to spin and he cant control his thoughts, his words and his emotions anymore. It might be the alcohol kicking in, or Tora just wants to tell Saga everything.
"Dont you fucking get it? Come on, Saga. Fuck."
"What the hell, Tora?"
Tora tried hard not to fall in love with Saga. He swears he tried his best to put his defenses up and not allow himself be as vulnerable as he is becoming, but he cant always be on guard forever, when it's only him fighting, but with every touch, every kiss, every time he wakes up naked next to him, slowly, his defenses are deteriorating.
"I fucking fell in love with you Saga."
Saga laughs softly, sarcastically, "Are you kidding? You dont have to lie to get laid. We can do it in my room without this 'love' fiasco."
"I dont want a quick fuck tonight. I want you to listen and see that I cant keep doing this with you because I am in love with you and i cant keep playing with you. I cant enjoy this... but i dont want to stop, because i am pathetic and if a quick fuck with you is the only time i can hold you and feel you against me, i will do it. But believe me... i am not as unemotional as you think i am." Tora stands up from his seat, he almost falls over from the sudden movement, alcohol kicks in more.
"Where are you going?"
"Home. I cant stay tonight. I dont think i should ever be here again."
"Stay. Please." Saga grabs on his wrist, stopping him from taking another step.
"Why?"
"Just... stay." Saga leads the taller man to his bedroom, where Tora lies down to his bed with Saga beside him. Tora feels his ego being beaten up by Saga again, he's this vulnerable to him now. He just lashed out everything on the bassist but here he is in his bedroom again.
But Tora was actually surprised Saga didnt make a move, they just stayed lying beside each other, looking up the ceiling of the bassist's bedroom, saying nothing. Eventually Tora has fallen asleep.
-----
Tora wakes up with a massive hangover, he can feel his head splitting up, he opens his eyes to see Saga staring at him. The alcohol has subsided from both of them and the reality of what happened last night is starting to kick Tora in the head. He turns his gaze away from Saga.
"...Is it true? What you said last night?" Saga asks, still looking at Tora.
"Yeah. But just forget it. Think of it like... a drunkard mumbling incoherent words."
"... I dont want to."
"Look." Tora finally looks at Saga, "I've already become this weak for you. Dont add my feelings towards you to the game, that will be unfair."
"I'm not gonna add it to the game Tora. I'm not that kind of monster you think I am... I'm not the total happy ending destroyer Disney created too. I dont want to be killed in the end of the story."
"... Get to the point Saga."
"I watched you sleep all night Tora. I never knew how peaceful you look in slumber. I didnt get tired looking at you and I dont think I ever will, and the thought of losing you beside me is kind of scary. Every story has it's redemption, right? I mean... im not good with love. Never believed in it, and i never knew how it truly felt, until the thought of losing you now... I never felt this way in the past with the ex boyfriends i dated. It just wasnt the same. I never felt the need to be with somebody this bad until you..."
Tora pulls Saga close to him, kissing Saga's temple, "See how ive become a weakling for you...? Damn it Saga..."
Saga smiles, "I can hear your heartbeat Tora... It sounds calming... I love it..."
Saga falls asleep, Tora gives him a kiss on the head.
Every villain in Disney stories may be dead in the end, but this is no fairy tale.
This is their story and it's only just beginning.
-------------------------
Author's Notes: Did the story make sense? Did the last lines make sense? Did I even give justice to the challenge? Wow. I never questioned myself this much with a story. Anyway, I hope I delivered. I kinda like the thought of this story i just dont know if i am able to get it across to you guys. Comments are appreciated and loved. ^_^