Baby's in black, and I'm feelin' blue.
Get the TP...
Firstly... WUV survey. Or Relationship.. or bullshit. Whatever you prefer..
Longest relationship: 9-10 months.
Shortest relationship: A few days. I forget.
How many people have you broken up with?: Not many, cuz I'm a loser.
How many people have broken up with you?: See above.
How many times have you truly been in love?: Once, and I fucked it up.
How many boyfriends/girlfriends have told you that they love you?: and actually mean it? One, maybe two. I hate people who use that word and don't mean it.
Have you ever thought that you were going to marry the person you were with?: Maybe during a drug-induced state.
Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt?: It all hurts, this is why I prefer to just stay away.
Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry?: Yeh..
Have you ever cried over a boyfriend or girlfriend?: Of course.
Are you happier single or in a relationship?: I grow very tired of being lonely, but at times it beats the drama of a relationship.
Have you ever been cheated on?: Probably.
What is your favorite thing about the opposite sex?: My arm around their waist and their head resting on my chest.
What makes you melt?: The sun... oh.. I mean.. I dunno.. see above.
What is the best part of being in a relationship?: THE TRUST <-- Sure, if it's there.
What is the worst part of being in a relationship?: "Why would you rather get high than spend time with me? Blah blah blah.."
Worst relationship?: You know when a semi-preppy chick goes "slumming" and gets a grungey dude for a week or two...
Are you a hopeless romantic?: Unfortunately.
Have you ever had your heart broken?: Yeh.
Have you ever broken someones heart?: HOPEFULLY <-- I love your optomism.
Do you talk to any of your exes?: Most of them move FAR FAR AWAY. I have that effect.
If you could go back in time and change things to where you could still be with one of your exes, would you?: No. What's happened has happened... let it be. LET IT BEEEE!! LET IT BEE!!!
Do you think any of your exes feel the same way?: Fuck if I know.
What is your type?: Anyone who enjoys getting stoned/drunk, playing videogames and watching cartoons.
What is your ideal boyfriend or girlfriend?: SEE ABOVE <-- Indeed, this is like the same fucking question...
Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend?: Eh. Hahaha. I'm loyal and usually trustworthy.. I'm just lazy.
Have you dated people who were not good to you?: Mmmhmm.
Have you been in an abusive relationship?: Yeah, I taught that bitch a lesson... I mean... no.. never. (I don't even kill the spiders in my basement, gimme a break)
Have you dated someone older then you?: Most of them have been, I believe.
What is one thing that all of your exes had in common?: After they dumped me, they left state... I'm serious.
Have you ever done anything sexual with your girlfriend/boyfriend in front of your parents?: No, I hate that shit.. even in front of friends or at a party. I just think it's kind of disrespectful to be getting down in front of people.
Have you ever cried yourself to sleep over a boyfriend or girlfriend?: Yeah..
Have you ever cried for more then 3 hours about a boyfriend or girlfriend?: Wanna see some scars..?
When is the last time that you were in a relationship?: It's been YEARS. Since '04, if not longer.
Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?: Everybody fucks up, man..
Believe in love at first sight?: Bullshit.
Ever dated two people at once?: I'm not that cool.
What's the perfect date?: If it involves doing something while drunk or stoned, I'm in.
Ever been given a promise ring?: Hahahahahaha.
Do you want to get married?: Not now.
Do you have something to say to any of your exes?: I dunno.. "Sup" or "Gimme back my CD, dammit."
Ever stolen someones boyfriend or girlfriend?: Nah. I'm not a douche like that.
Ever liked someone elses boyfriend or girlfriend?: Not enough to actually do anything about it.
Do you believe in true love?: It's there, but it takes work.
Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds?: ITS EVEN WORSE. WORDS CANT DESCRIBE THE FEELING <-- Preach on brotha.. I mean uh.. sista.
Do you think that you will/or have found the love of your life?: *shrug*
And now, some other lame survey!
What is your secret, guaranteed weeping movie?
Braveheart always gets to me, especially if I've had a few drinks during it... which.. is usually yes.. and strangely, so does Princess Mononoke... fuck you.. it's a good movie.
If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?
Nothing.
Do you have a fear of something physical?
Uh... I guess?
Are you a pyromaniac?
YEAH YEAH FIRE FIRE FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you know anyone famous?
I've met a lot of dudes in bands, but its not like I keep in touch with them or anything.
Who would play you in a movie?
Johnny Depp is so cramping my style... I was a drunk pirate years before he was!!
Do you know how to play poker?
Yes.
What do you carry with you at all times?
Keys, cigs, wallet.
Are you happy with your given name?
I could go for more originality, but that can be hard when your last name is "Johnson."
What color is your bedroom?
It's a basement... it's... grey.
What was the last song you were listening to?
"One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer" George Thorogood.
Do you talk a lot?
Depends who I'm talking to.
What is your ideal marriage location?
Anyplace but South Dakota.
Favorite fabric?
I love the feeling of cool silk against my testicles...
Something you love and also hate?
Life.
What's the one language you want to learn?
Spanish and Dutch. VREEMD!! Maybe Japanese, too.. cuz I'm a geek.
How do you eat an apple?
With my mouth.
Do you have any tattoos?
Two.
Do you drive a stick?
I drive a car, dumbass.
What's one trait you dislike in a person?
Closed-mindedness.
Do you consider yourself to be materialistic?
I try not to be, but I do love my CD's.. oh yes.
What do you cook the best?
I throw the weirdest shit together and it tastes good.. my old roomates can vouch for this.. I used to cook for them when I'd get drunk. Hahaha.
Do you prefer to stand out or blend in?
I like being an individual, but leave me alone... ya know..
What's one car you will never buy?
One that doesn't work.
One thing you would do if you won the lottery
Move to Holland and buy a coffeeshop.
What's one thing you suck at?
Stuff.
If you don't like a person, how do you show it?
Ignore.
What's one thing you like to do alone?
I like doing most things alone.
Are you a giver or a taker?
Depends what I'm doing.
When's the last time you cried?
Don't remember.
Do you have problems changing clothes in front of friends?
No, I'm predisposed to getting nude though..
Do you like to shop?
Yeah, if I have money.
Are your friends married or single?
Mostly single.
Do you own a Bible?
Believe it or not, yes. And I got it at BK, hahahaha.
Do you play chess?
Too boring, and I'm easily distracted.
Do you like the rain?
I'm only happy when it rains.
Do you like thunderstorms?
See above.
What was your weight when you were born?
Fuck if I know.
What time were you born?
See above.
Where were you born?
Somewhere in Iowa.
AND FINALLY!!
1.DON'T TAKE IT IF YOU'RE GOING TO LIE.
Ok, fucker.
2.WHAT KIND OF SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Beatles.
3. WOULD YOU KISS ANYONE ON YOUR FRIEND'S list?
And then some.
4. DO YOU HAVE "A THING" FOR ANYONE ON YOUR TOP?
Define "a thing."
5. HOW MANY PEOPLE ON YOUR LIST DO YOU KNOW IN REAL?
Most of them... except Romie and the Dutchies. Romie does call me occasionally, though.
6. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT TO HAVE?
NONE.
7. DO YOU HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH BOTH YOUR PARENTS?
To an extent.
8. WHAT NAME WOULD YOU WANT TO HAVE BESIDES THE ONE YOU HAVE?
Steve!
10. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST B-DAY?
Got drunk with Ben and Mikey.
11. WHAT'S YOUR CURRENT RINGTONE ON YOUR PHONE?
It just like... beeps.
12. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP TODAY?
10:30am.. SOMEONE CALLED ME.. or else I would have slept until like 2pm or something.
15. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN'T WAIT TO DO?
Die. I mean.. I dunno. Get out of this hell.
16 .WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME U SAW YOUR MOM?
She's across the hall.
17. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF? Nothing, I'm content with who I am.
18. IF YOU HAD 500,000 DOLLARS... WHAT 5 THINGS WOULD YOU DO WITH IT?
1) Booze/drugs
2) CDs/DVDs
3) Car
4) Move far away
5) Give some to family/friends
20. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO TOM?
Not directly, but he hangs out a lot in one of my groups.... and this survey is missing a lot of questions.. am I the only one who ever notices this!?
21. WHAT COLOR UNDERWEAR ARE YOU WEARING?
Blue/white/green flannel boxers.
22. LAST THING YOU ATE?
Chili-cheese footlong!
23. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE MONTH?
Sometimes in summer, though I hate the sun and the heat.
24. YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MONTH?
November.. bad things always happen to me in this month.
25. WHAT'S THE LAST PIECE OF CLOTHING YOU BORROWED FROM someone?
Uh... Never have, I believe.
26. WHO IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES RIGHT NOW?
Relatives.
27. MOST VISITED WEBPAGE?
Myspace, LJ, Onewhiskey, Bash.org
28. LAST PERSON YOU TEXT MESSAGED?
Romie, Mikey or Ben.. I forget.
29. LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU SAD.
Uh...
30. WOULD YOU TAKE A BULLET FOR YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Yeah.. I'd take a bullet just to take a bullet.
33. HAVE YOU BEEN TO EUROPE?
Not yet, but hopefully someday.
35. IF SOMEONE YOU HATED DIED, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
Have a drink.
36. HAVE YOU KISSED SOMEONE IN THE PAST WEEK?
Nope.
---------YOUR LAST EX-------------------
37. IF YOU COULD TELL YOUR LAST EX SOMETHING WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?
"Wassup."
38. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR EX WOULD SAY TO YOU?
"Hey.."
40. WOULD YOU GET BACK WITH YOUR LAST EX IF YOU COULD?
What's happened has happened. Leave it at that.
41. WHO HAS BEEN YOUR FAVORITE EX?
Favorite ex, what an oxymoron. Don't really have a favorite, they all moved out of state and I haven't heard from them since.
42. WOULD YOU GET BACK WITH YOUR EX FROM QUESTION 41?
See number 40.
44. HOW MANY PIERCINGS DO YOU HAVE
None.
45. TATTOOS?
Two.
46. IF YOU COULD GET PIERCED ANYWHERE WHERE WOULD YOU GET IT DONE?
Lip, septum, eyebrow.
47. WHAT ARE YOU MOST SCARED OF?
Spoiled milk. That shit is nasty.
48. DO YOU LIKE BEING ON STAGE WITH A BUNCH OF PEOPLE WATCHING YOU?
If I'm rocking out, then sure.