i hate my life.

[paralyzingfear]

as soon as i thought everything was goin good, i just had to fine my journal that i was writing when i was really depressed. as i was reading it my mom came in and told me to come and eat then she went in my room and found it, and read all my stuff. and alot of it was about me cutting myself, and she was like come on kourtni get dressed we are going to the hospital and i was like why and she was like cause you have some serious mental problems and i was im IM NOT GOING! and i was crying so hard and so much. and she called the cops and all of my neighbors were standing outside watching everything that happened. and they put me in the back of an EMS and took me to the hospital and they almost sent me to a mental hospital but it was a while ago that i wrote those so they couldnt do anything. and we didnt get back until like 3:00 am and i was so tired and they gave me sleeping medication and i slept until like 1:00 pm and finally my mom woke me up and pretended that nothing happened and was like come on lets go out to eat then we will go see your counselar. i told my mom last night that i hated her and that i would never EVER forgive her for what she did.
i guess i jynxed my life, saying it was going good. cause now its back to hell.
:'(