relationship concern #1
I can genuinely say this is the first actual problem we've had that wasn't resolved by just talking it out, so I think if we get through it we've earned some sort of trophy. It's a really simple problem, actually. Because we spend so much time together it doesn't make any sense to maintain private residences. Moving in together is the only logical thing to do; it will easily save us a thousand bucks a month.
Currently mups' mom watches the kids every day after school. So since I'll be around presumably doing nothing, it's only logical that she could just drop the kids off with me for a few hours. Yeah, that's right. Logical. All I have to do is help them with their homework and throw a little food at them and keep them from fighting until their dad gets home and it's time for bed. Piece of cake. Still saves me a few hundred bucks a month.
My mom figures this sounds a lot like playing wifey, and she figures it's better to get the ring up front than to play the role of stupid whore free babysitter. Logi-wait WHAT?! and this is the part where I piss myself every time. It's actually big of her to assume that my relationship is able to withstand the pressure of mom-induced marriage, or that she can just make that decision. Mups interjects that no, she can't make that decision, and the rigidity of the No reminds me of someone else I used to know. Which makes me sad.
And what about that babysitting stuff anyways? I'm willing to make a ton of concessions, but to spend more time with mups' kids than he does sounds jacked on a variety of levels. I don't mind doing it in practice, only in theory, because I don't have any children. At this point mups gently reminds me that kids tend to view the world in broader strokes than that, and that sometimes the parenting criteria is as simple as being the adult who's present.
So what everyone else in the equation considers a happy solution becomes a huge problem for me. But how hard is it really? Is it possible that I'm making too much out of this? There's always the option of sucking it up but 1. I don't want to feel like I'm doing too much, and develop some sort of resentment regarding the entire arrangement and 2. I don't want mups to get too comfortable with the stupid whore free babysitter arrangement. I will absolutely leave if I feel I am being taken advantage of, and I don't want to have to leave.
But, I tend to interject, to mups' extreme dissatisfaction, maybe we're getting ahead of ourselves. I just started a new lease, and there's no saying we'll even still be together next summer. Why should I stress about something that may or may not happen a year from now?
Currently mups' mom watches the kids every day after school. So since I'll be around presumably doing nothing, it's only logical that she could just drop the kids off with me for a few hours. Yeah, that's right. Logical. All I have to do is help them with their homework and throw a little food at them and keep them from fighting until their dad gets home and it's time for bed. Piece of cake. Still saves me a few hundred bucks a month.
My mom figures this sounds a lot like playing wifey, and she figures it's better to get the ring up front than to play the role of stupid whore free babysitter. Logi-wait WHAT?! and this is the part where I piss myself every time. It's actually big of her to assume that my relationship is able to withstand the pressure of mom-induced marriage, or that she can just make that decision. Mups interjects that no, she can't make that decision, and the rigidity of the No reminds me of someone else I used to know. Which makes me sad.
And what about that babysitting stuff anyways? I'm willing to make a ton of concessions, but to spend more time with mups' kids than he does sounds jacked on a variety of levels. I don't mind doing it in practice, only in theory, because I don't have any children. At this point mups gently reminds me that kids tend to view the world in broader strokes than that, and that sometimes the parenting criteria is as simple as being the adult who's present.
So what everyone else in the equation considers a happy solution becomes a huge problem for me. But how hard is it really? Is it possible that I'm making too much out of this? There's always the option of sucking it up but 1. I don't want to feel like I'm doing too much, and develop some sort of resentment regarding the entire arrangement and 2. I don't want mups to get too comfortable with the stupid whore free babysitter arrangement. I will absolutely leave if I feel I am being taken advantage of, and I don't want to have to leave.
But, I tend to interject, to mups' extreme dissatisfaction, maybe we're getting ahead of ourselves. I just started a new lease, and there's no saying we'll even still be together next summer. Why should I stress about something that may or may not happen a year from now?