Friend
Merriam-Webster defines friend as this:
Friend
Pronunciation: 'frend
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English frend, from Old English frEond; akin to Old High German friunt friend, Old English frEon to love, frEo free
1 a: one attached to another by affection or esteem b: ACQUAINTANCE
2 a: one that is not hostile b: one that is of the same nation, party, or group
3: one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)
4: a favored companion
Lately, I have given a good deal of thought to what really makes a person ones friend. I used to be of the opinion that definitions one and four were the closest. Now I feel I ought to clarify. They are not only someone who you are attached to through affection and/or esteem. Nor just a favored companion. They are also someone whom you respect, and who respects you. Because of this recent epiphany, I have taken a look at the list of people whom I used to consider friends. That list got much shorter.
Oddly enough, it was not for the reason I thought this might happen. I still respect almost everyone on that list, though some much less than before. The reason I can no longer consider so many people friends is because they judge themselves by one standard, and yet everyone else by another.
Normally this type of hypocrisy wouldn’t faze me at all from these people. I have become so used, and jaded, to it that normally I don't think twice about it when it happens concerning me. But this time it was not only me, but someone I care for. And that grates.
Why is it that people seem to feel the need to be rude? Why do they judge based solely on one piece of information, or cave to the decision made like that just because others do? Is peer pressure that much of a problem for people that they feel the need to be jerks just because it's the popular thing to do?
The most recent round of this is the newest cycle of making fun of me because of my family's Jewish background. I think I've handled it well the last 23 years. Always being the minority, the butt of the jokes, and the one without people to rely on when I was hurting. But recently I find it is starting to get to me. One can only take so much right? Maybe 23 years of it was my limit. And the thing that really irks me on this particular topic is the fact that I am not Jewish. Haven't been since shortly after my barmitzva. That was 10 years ago. So why is it that people feel the need to act like assholes? Is it something I do?
And I know what you're thinking. Or at least what a couple of you are. Isn't that a bit hypocritical of me? Am I not right? But there's a difference. I act like an asshole to others for a different reason than they do so to me. I guess they do it to me because it's fun, or popular, or they have the errant perception that it's the right thing to do. I have none of these misconceptions. When I came up here I was nice to everyone. Parents seeing me would have thought me the perfect angel. No, the reason I act like a jerk to certain people is because they treat me like one. And much like the US justice system's loophole, if I've already been blamed and punished for it, why not actually commit the crime and have no further retribution?
If they're going to treat me like shit and without respect, then turn about is fair play. There are those that I take great pains to be nice to. Some I try my hardest to be polite around. And others I avoid because being around them brings out the worst in me. But as the group choosing to lump disrespect and poor treatment on me continues to grow, the people I care to be nice or polite to dwindle in number.
So there it is. Read it over and over. Figure out what group you seem to fit into based on my behavior towards you. Most people's assumptions will be oddly accurate. There are a few that might not be, but most will be eerily close. Then take another read through and actually listen to what I said. I'm always willing to give second chances. Many have gotten third, fourth, fifth and beyond already. I'll gladly give them another if they think they can treat me as a human being rather than an object, stereotype, and piece of trash.
Friend
Pronunciation: 'frend
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English frend, from Old English frEond; akin to Old High German friunt friend, Old English frEon to love, frEo free
1 a: one attached to another by affection or esteem b: ACQUAINTANCE
2 a: one that is not hostile b: one that is of the same nation, party, or group
3: one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)
4: a favored companion
Lately, I have given a good deal of thought to what really makes a person ones friend. I used to be of the opinion that definitions one and four were the closest. Now I feel I ought to clarify. They are not only someone who you are attached to through affection and/or esteem. Nor just a favored companion. They are also someone whom you respect, and who respects you. Because of this recent epiphany, I have taken a look at the list of people whom I used to consider friends. That list got much shorter.
Oddly enough, it was not for the reason I thought this might happen. I still respect almost everyone on that list, though some much less than before. The reason I can no longer consider so many people friends is because they judge themselves by one standard, and yet everyone else by another.
Normally this type of hypocrisy wouldn’t faze me at all from these people. I have become so used, and jaded, to it that normally I don't think twice about it when it happens concerning me. But this time it was not only me, but someone I care for. And that grates.
Why is it that people seem to feel the need to be rude? Why do they judge based solely on one piece of information, or cave to the decision made like that just because others do? Is peer pressure that much of a problem for people that they feel the need to be jerks just because it's the popular thing to do?
The most recent round of this is the newest cycle of making fun of me because of my family's Jewish background. I think I've handled it well the last 23 years. Always being the minority, the butt of the jokes, and the one without people to rely on when I was hurting. But recently I find it is starting to get to me. One can only take so much right? Maybe 23 years of it was my limit. And the thing that really irks me on this particular topic is the fact that I am not Jewish. Haven't been since shortly after my barmitzva. That was 10 years ago. So why is it that people feel the need to act like assholes? Is it something I do?
And I know what you're thinking. Or at least what a couple of you are. Isn't that a bit hypocritical of me? Am I not right? But there's a difference. I act like an asshole to others for a different reason than they do so to me. I guess they do it to me because it's fun, or popular, or they have the errant perception that it's the right thing to do. I have none of these misconceptions. When I came up here I was nice to everyone. Parents seeing me would have thought me the perfect angel. No, the reason I act like a jerk to certain people is because they treat me like one. And much like the US justice system's loophole, if I've already been blamed and punished for it, why not actually commit the crime and have no further retribution?
If they're going to treat me like shit and without respect, then turn about is fair play. There are those that I take great pains to be nice to. Some I try my hardest to be polite around. And others I avoid because being around them brings out the worst in me. But as the group choosing to lump disrespect and poor treatment on me continues to grow, the people I care to be nice or polite to dwindle in number.
So there it is. Read it over and over. Figure out what group you seem to fit into based on my behavior towards you. Most people's assumptions will be oddly accurate. There are a few that might not be, but most will be eerily close. Then take another read through and actually listen to what I said. I'm always willing to give second chances. Many have gotten third, fourth, fifth and beyond already. I'll gladly give them another if they think they can treat me as a human being rather than an object, stereotype, and piece of trash.