(no subject)
Pairing: Chad Kroeger/Mike Kroeger [Nickelback]
Date Written: October 11, 2001
"So," Ryan says slowly, "what'd you want to talk about at three in
the morning?"
Chad shakes his head. "Nothing, man. I just had to get out of the
house."
Ryan nods and pulls out a pack of cigarettes, handing one to Chad and
lighting it for him. "Mike bothering you again, eh?"
Chad laughs and takes a drag on the cigarette. "When isn't he? I
think he broke up with his fucking girlfriend or something."
Ryan lights his own cigarette. "Yeah, but he's been on your case
since you got outta juvi."
Chad sighs. "Yeah, but that was my own fucking fault."
Mike is the perfect son. He has a steady job. He's going to college.
Mike never gets in trouble. Never got busted for breaking curfew. He
doesn't talk back to their mother. Doesn't do stupid things that get
him in trouble. In a way, Chad admires his brother for that, even as
he resents him for being so perfect. So goddamned good all the time.
He wonders how Mike can stand it.
Ryan shrugs. "You know there's--"
"Always room over at your house, I know," Chad finishes the sentence
for him with a smile.
Ryan cuffs his head playfully. "Smart ass."
Chad shoves him lightly. "Dick."
Ryan smirks and wraps his arm around Chad's shoulders. "You wish you
could have my dick."
Chad laughs and shoves him away, standing up. "Oh fuck you."
"In your dreams," Ryan retorts.
"Yeah, you're my dream man, Ryan," Chad teases through laughter.
Ryan grins and grabs Chad's wrist, pulling him back. "Hell, I'm
flattered."
Chad pulls his wrist free and shakes his head. "I should go."
Ryan frowns. "You know I was just kidding--"
"Mike'll be pissed," Chad cuts him off, inclining his head towards
their apartment building.
"He's probably fast asleep," Ryan argues. "Besides, *you're* the one
that dragged *me* out of my nice, warm bed."
Chad shrugs. "I'm sorry, man, but he's gotta get up for work tomorrow
and I don't need to piss him off."
Ryan shrugs back. "Okay, fine. You're going to school tomorrow,
right?"
"Maybe," Chad says with emphasis, walking backward towards his
building.
"What the fuck, man?" Ryan calls after him, standing up and stubbing
out his cigarette. "You're worried about pissing him off by keeping
him up but not about going to school?"
Chad pauses and frowns, tossing his cigarette to the ground. "You
know I hate it there."
"Can't do much with your life without an education," Ryan says as he
jogs to catch up with Chad.
"Just you watch," Chad says, hip checking Ryan lightly. "Hey, race ya
to my door?"
"Sure," Ryan answers, but Chad's already running ahead of
him. "Fucker!"
"Sucker," Chad shouts over his shoulder.
Ryan flips him off and runs faster, catching up to Chad just as they
reach the door.
"Night, man," Chad pants slightly.
"Night," Ryan echoes softly.
Chad shoots Ryan a curious look before he slips through the door and
then bolts up the stairs, trying to be as quiet as possible.
**
"I can't believe you skipped school again," Mike rants, angrily
stirring a pot of spaghetti sauce on the stove. "You're damn lucky
Mom wasn't here to get that call."
"I know," Chad says quietly as he chops vegetables at the counter.
"You're lucky the truant officer hasn't come after you yet," Mike
continues, banging the spoon against the pot.
"I know," Chad repeats, cutting a piece of carrot in half with more
force than necessary.
"Watch it," Mike warns without turning around.
"Fuck you," Chad says under his breath.
He slams down the knife into the carrot again, smirking with
satisfaction as the sound echoes loudly. Then he does it again and
again until he's on the last vegetable. Just as he's bringing the
knife down, Mike brushes past him to open the refrigerator. Chad
starts at the touch and the knife slips, cutting into his finger
instead.
"Ow," Chad cries, hissing. "Fuck."
"What? What?" Mike asks, grabbing Chad's shoulders and spinning him
around. "What did you do?"
He immediately grabs Chad's bleeding finger and brings it up to his
lips, sucking on the cut lightly. Chad freezes at the touch, his eyes
locked on Mike's as he suppresses a shiver. Mike says something but
Chad can't really hear him. Then Mike is dragging him over to the
sink and thrusting Chad's finger under the water.
"Chad?" Mike asks, his voice heavy with concern. "You okay?"
"Eh," Chad manages to murmur.
Mike shakes his head and then pulls Chad into a tight hug. "What am I
going to do with you?"
Chad doesn't answer. He just raises his uninjured hand and touches
his blood on Mike's lip.
"Yeah, yeah, I know," Mike says hurriedly as he starts pulling Chad
to the bathroom. "C'mon, let's get you cleaned-up, eh?"
Chad nods and stumbles after Mike to the bathroom. When Mike douses
the cut in antiseptic, Chad finally snaps out of it, yelping as he
pulls his hand away.
"Hey, hey," Mike protests, grabbing it back and slapping a Band-Aid
on Chad's finger.
"Thanks," Chad mutters, staring down at it.
Mike slaps his shoulder. "Watch yourself, okay?" He pulls Chad close
and kisses his temple lightly. "Let's go finish dinner."
Chad stares after Mike for a second, rubbing the spot he kissed
lightly.
**
"What're you reading?" Chad asks Mike, sliding closer to him on the
couch.
"Music theory," Mike answers without looking up.
"Oh," Chad says softly.
Mike looks up and smiles at him. "What're you doing? I thought you'd
be hanging out with Ryan."
Chad blinks, wondering if he misheard the disapproval in Mike's
voice. "No, not tonight."
Mike shuts his book and stands up. "Well, wanna jam then?"
"Sure," Chad exclaims, surprised.
Mike usually never wants to jam with him. So Chad stands up and goes
to the closet, pulling it open to search for his guitar. As he's
bending over to pick up the case off the floor, he feels something
touch his lower back and abruptly straightens up, his head hitting a
shelf.
"Ow," he mutters, rubbing his head.
"Lemme look," Mike says, laughing slightly. "I thought you were over
your gawky teenager phase."
Then he reaches up and brushes Chad's hair away, his fingers gently
probing the tender area. Chad feels himself flush at the touch, his
heart speeding up as Mike's fingers trail down the sides of his face
to cup his chin.
"Okay?" Mike asks.
"I'm fine," Chad answers, wincing as his voice cracks.
He steps out of Mike's grasp and quickly pulls his guitar out of the
closet, his hands shaking.
**
"What're you doing?" Mike mumbles, half-asleep.
"It's cold," Chad says.
Mike yawns. "No, you're cold. Get out of my bed, man."
"Mikey," Chad pleads.
Mike's eyes narrow, barely visible in the soft light from the street
lamp outside their window. "Chad? What? Are you sick or something?"
Chad shivers, sliding closer to Mike. "Just cold."
Mike sighs. "We're too big to be sleeping in the same bed."
Chad wraps his arms around Mike's waist, pulling him close. "Just
like when we were kids."
Mike shoves Chad away. "Damn it, Chad. We aren't fucking kids
anymore."
Chad freezes, eyes wide. Mike doesn't swear. At least not at him. He
really doesn't see the problem here, why this should upset Mike so
much. Especially after they had seemed to be getting closer lately.
"Just don't touch me," Mike mumbles after a long silence.
Then he flips over, putting his back to Chad. Shrugging, Chad slides
back against the wall, trying hard to follow Mike's instructions.
It's just that Chad is so cold, and Mike seems to be so warm. Half
asleep, Chad wraps himself around Mike. This time Mike just rolls
over and curls up against Chad, throwing one arm over Chad's hip.
Chad tangles his legs with Mike's, trying to get warmer. Mike groans
in his sleep, his breath hot on Chad's neck. It's addicting, Mike's
warmth, and Chad tries to get closer, sliding one leg in between
Mike's, bringing them as close as possible. Chad is a little
embarrassed to find that Mike is hard, but can't move away now. Mike
has wrapped his fingers around Chad's hair in his sleep.
Mike's brow furrows and Chad presses a light kiss to his temple, just
like Mike had done for him earlier that week. In response, Mike
kisses Chad's neck, muttering incoherently. Chad freezes, his whole
body stiffening as Mike rolls his hips against Chad's thigh, kissing
his neck again.
"Uhhh, Mike?" Chad whispers.
"Hmmmm?" Mike murmurs happily against his skin.
"What-- What're you doing?" Chad stammers.
"Why're you so tense, baby?" Mike asks huskily.
His hand slides from Chad's hip, down his boxers to cup his ass. Chad
groans involuntarily. He can't believe how his body is reacting. This
is his brother. His brother who is dead asleep and doesn't even know
what he's doing.
"Mike, stop," Chad mutters half-heartedly.
Mike kisses him instead. Crushing his mouth to Chad's for a sweet
second before abruptly pulling back, his eyes flying open.
"What the fuck?" Mike asks, blinking at Chad.
Chad reaches out and pulls him back. "No, it's okay."
"Shit, I'm sorry, Chad," Mike apologizes, disentangling their
legs. "Really. I thought you were someone else. Okay?"
"Yeah," Chad murmurs, re-tangling their legs. "I mean, no, it's okay.
I don't mind."
Before Mike can say another word, Chad kisses him, just barely
brushing their lips together. When Mike doesn't respond, he crushes
his mouth to Mike's, licking at Mike's lower lip until Mike opens his
mouth to him, letting their tongues play against each other for just
a second before Mike shoves Chad away.
"No," Mike shouts, his voice hoarse.
"What? I--"
"No," Mike repeats as he slides out of the bed, glancing at the
clock. "I have to be up in an hour for work anyway. I'm just going to
go sit out in the living room."
"You don't have to," Chad says as he sits up.
"It's wrong, Chad," Mike whispers as he picks up a pair of pants off
the floor before backing towards the door. "Wrong."
Then he's gone, leaving Chad alone and confused. Chad pulls his knees
up to his chest, feeling a different kind of cold.
**
"Would you move out of my way?" Mike demands his voice muffled by the
toothbrush in his mouth. "I have to go to work."
"I have to go to school," Chad mutters through his own toothbrush.
Mike spits into the sink. "Since when?"
"Since today," Chad answers, nudging Mike out of the way so he can
spit.
Mike shoves at Chad's shoulder and then puts his toothbrush away.
Chad is tired and still confused by what happened last night. He
can't resist shoving hard at Mike's chest, knocking him into the
door. Mike snarls and barrels into Chad's stomach, knocking the wind
out of him as his toothbrush falls to the floor.
"Fucker," Chad sneers, pounding his fists into Mike's back.
"Asshole," Mike grunts, shoving Chad into the wall and straightening
up.
Immediately, Chad punches him, hitting him square in the left eye.
The second his fist impacts Mike's face, he regrets it, watching
helplessly as Mike backs away to the door, clutching his eye.
"You little bastard," Mike hisses.
"I'm sorry," Chad mutters, looking at the floor.
"Fuck you," Mike spits, advancing on him. "I have to go to work. How
am I supposed to do that like this?"
Chad glances up, shifting nervously when he notices how close Mike
is. "I don't know."
"You don't know?" Mike asks sarcastically, leaning into Chad's face.
"What do you want me to say, Mikey?" Chad asks plaintively, looking
up at Mike through his eyelashes.
Mike flushes and steps back, running a hand through his hair. "What
the fuck is wrong with you?"
Chad steps forward and rests a hand on Mike's shoulder. "You kissed
me first."
"I was asleep," Mike cries in defense.
Closing his eyes, Chad leans in until his lips are just brushing
Mike's. "Not the second time."
"That was a mistake," Mike murmurs, his eyes drifting shut.
Chad slants his mouth over Mike's applying just the slightest
pressure to his lips, waiting for Mike to do something because Chad
is scared and unsure. Scared because he can't erase Mike's touch from
his head and unsure because he doesn't know how Mike will react this
time. He wants Mike's approval so badly.
"A mistake," Mike repeats against Chad's lips just before he kisses
him back.
**
"I love you," Mike whispers against Chad's neck. "You know that,
right?"
"Yeah," Chad whispers back, feeling kind of giddy because Mike has
never told him that. Because he always thought Mike kind of hated
him. "I love you too, Mikey."
Mike kisses Chad's neck, sucking lightly on his skin. Chad moans and
slides closer to Mike, his hand reaching for the front of Mike's
boxer shorts.
"No, no," Mike murmurs, pulling his hand away.
"I want to," Chad protests, caressing Mike's inner arm.
Mike shakes his head. "We can't--"
"Why not?" Chad frowns.
"Chad--" Mike cuts himself off with a sigh. "We just can't, you know
that."
Chad bites his lip, slightly panicked that Mike is going to pull away
from him again. "Don't you want me?"
"I--" Mike falters and kisses Chad instead. "Let's just go to sleep."
"Mike--"
"Shhhh," Mike cuts him off, kissing him again. "Sleep."
Chad frowns but slides closer to Mike and wraps his arms around him.
**
"What's this, Chad?"
Chad starts as he feels someone's fingers brushing across his neck
and turns around. "Ryan?"
"Yeah, dumbass," Ryan laughs as he slides into the seat across from
Chad. "You haven't been in school, so I figured you had to be here."
"How'd you figure that?" Chad asks, playing nervously with his coffee
cup.
"Well, Mike works here, right?" Ryan asks in return.
"What does that have to do with anything?" Chad demands.
"Jesus, Kroeger, what's your problem?" Ryan nods at a hickey on
Chad's neck. "I figured with that monster you'd be in a better mood."
"Fuck you, Peake," Chad snaps, his eyes darting nervously to Mike,
who is standing behind the counter, watching them.
Ryan frowns. "You fighting with your brother again?"
"I don't want to talk about it, okay?" Chad mutters.
"Fine," Ryan shrugs, "we won't talk about it. Let's talk about how
you're going to get expelled if you don't start showing up for
school."
Chad smirks. "You aren't my mother."
"No," Ryan smiles, "because she'd kick your ass if she knew. What,
Mike covering for you?"
"No," Chad exclaims, then lowers his voice, "I've been sick."
Ryan laughs. "Is that how you get hickeys these days?"
Chad blushes. "I--"
"Coffee?"
Chad jumps at the sound of Mike's voice, his knees banging against
the table. Ryan shoots him a curious look before turning to Mike.
"Nah, I just dropped in," Ryan answers.
Mike nods and refills Chad's cup. "You can't just hang around, you
know the rules."
"I know," Ryan mutters as Mike walks away. "Goddamn is your brother
an asshole sometimes."
Chad swallows hard under Mike's glare in their direction. "Maybe you
should just go, Ryan."
Ryan shakes his head and stands up. "You know, there's room in my
house--"
"Thanks, I'll be okay," Chad quickly interrupts.
"Whatever," Ryan says, already halfway to the door. "Later."
"Later," Chad echoes softly.
**
"What did you tell him?" Mike growls as they enter the apartment.
"Nothing," Chad answers quietly.
Mike whirls around, reaching past Chad to slam the door
shut. "Nothing? I saw him touching you."
"He was just playing around--"
"He's also two years older than you," Mike interrupts.
Chad frowns, confused by the argument. "What does that have to do
with anything?"
"It just fucking does," Mike yells. "And you can't be hanging around
at my work all the time either."
Chad ducks his head, following closely behind Mike as he moves into
the kitchen. Ever since that morning in the bathroom, Chad feels as
though he needs to be near Mike all the time. Like if he lets Mike
out of his sight, Mike will go back to being the old Mike who hates
him and doesn't talk to him.
"Okay," Chad whispers.
"Chad," Mike sighs. "Don't do this. You know that this is wrong,
don't you?"
"I know that," Chad answers, nervously touching his neck.
"And I didn't mean to give you that," Mike mutters. "This has got to
stop."
"What?" Chad gulps in panic. "No, I'll be more careful. No one will
ever know."
"Because this stops right now," Mike says firmly. "Sleep in your own
bed tonight." Chad reaches out for Mike, but Mike just steps back,
holding up a hand. "And go to school for fuck's sake before you end
up in jail again. Speaking of school…"
Chad stands helplessly in the kitchen as Mike walks into the living
room, picking up his backpack. "Mike?"
"What?" Mike asks absently.
Chad comes up behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist. "Please
don't."
Mike sighs, grabbing Chad's hands. "Chad--"
"Please," Chad pleads, evading Mike's grasp to cup his groin.
"No," Mike gasps, quickly shoving Chad's hands away and spinning
around. "Don't do that."
"Mikey--"
"Don't you ever fucking touch me like that again," Mike roars. "This
was stupid and wrong. A mistake. And it's over with Chad. Over."
With that he stomps out the door, slamming it hard behind him. Chad
stares after him for a long moment before his eyes harden with
remorse, blocking out the rest of the world.
**
End
Date Written: October 11, 2001
"So," Ryan says slowly, "what'd you want to talk about at three in
the morning?"
Chad shakes his head. "Nothing, man. I just had to get out of the
house."
Ryan nods and pulls out a pack of cigarettes, handing one to Chad and
lighting it for him. "Mike bothering you again, eh?"
Chad laughs and takes a drag on the cigarette. "When isn't he? I
think he broke up with his fucking girlfriend or something."
Ryan lights his own cigarette. "Yeah, but he's been on your case
since you got outta juvi."
Chad sighs. "Yeah, but that was my own fucking fault."
Mike is the perfect son. He has a steady job. He's going to college.
Mike never gets in trouble. Never got busted for breaking curfew. He
doesn't talk back to their mother. Doesn't do stupid things that get
him in trouble. In a way, Chad admires his brother for that, even as
he resents him for being so perfect. So goddamned good all the time.
He wonders how Mike can stand it.
Ryan shrugs. "You know there's--"
"Always room over at your house, I know," Chad finishes the sentence
for him with a smile.
Ryan cuffs his head playfully. "Smart ass."
Chad shoves him lightly. "Dick."
Ryan smirks and wraps his arm around Chad's shoulders. "You wish you
could have my dick."
Chad laughs and shoves him away, standing up. "Oh fuck you."
"In your dreams," Ryan retorts.
"Yeah, you're my dream man, Ryan," Chad teases through laughter.
Ryan grins and grabs Chad's wrist, pulling him back. "Hell, I'm
flattered."
Chad pulls his wrist free and shakes his head. "I should go."
Ryan frowns. "You know I was just kidding--"
"Mike'll be pissed," Chad cuts him off, inclining his head towards
their apartment building.
"He's probably fast asleep," Ryan argues. "Besides, *you're* the one
that dragged *me* out of my nice, warm bed."
Chad shrugs. "I'm sorry, man, but he's gotta get up for work tomorrow
and I don't need to piss him off."
Ryan shrugs back. "Okay, fine. You're going to school tomorrow,
right?"
"Maybe," Chad says with emphasis, walking backward towards his
building.
"What the fuck, man?" Ryan calls after him, standing up and stubbing
out his cigarette. "You're worried about pissing him off by keeping
him up but not about going to school?"
Chad pauses and frowns, tossing his cigarette to the ground. "You
know I hate it there."
"Can't do much with your life without an education," Ryan says as he
jogs to catch up with Chad.
"Just you watch," Chad says, hip checking Ryan lightly. "Hey, race ya
to my door?"
"Sure," Ryan answers, but Chad's already running ahead of
him. "Fucker!"
"Sucker," Chad shouts over his shoulder.
Ryan flips him off and runs faster, catching up to Chad just as they
reach the door.
"Night, man," Chad pants slightly.
"Night," Ryan echoes softly.
Chad shoots Ryan a curious look before he slips through the door and
then bolts up the stairs, trying to be as quiet as possible.
**
"I can't believe you skipped school again," Mike rants, angrily
stirring a pot of spaghetti sauce on the stove. "You're damn lucky
Mom wasn't here to get that call."
"I know," Chad says quietly as he chops vegetables at the counter.
"You're lucky the truant officer hasn't come after you yet," Mike
continues, banging the spoon against the pot.
"I know," Chad repeats, cutting a piece of carrot in half with more
force than necessary.
"Watch it," Mike warns without turning around.
"Fuck you," Chad says under his breath.
He slams down the knife into the carrot again, smirking with
satisfaction as the sound echoes loudly. Then he does it again and
again until he's on the last vegetable. Just as he's bringing the
knife down, Mike brushes past him to open the refrigerator. Chad
starts at the touch and the knife slips, cutting into his finger
instead.
"Ow," Chad cries, hissing. "Fuck."
"What? What?" Mike asks, grabbing Chad's shoulders and spinning him
around. "What did you do?"
He immediately grabs Chad's bleeding finger and brings it up to his
lips, sucking on the cut lightly. Chad freezes at the touch, his eyes
locked on Mike's as he suppresses a shiver. Mike says something but
Chad can't really hear him. Then Mike is dragging him over to the
sink and thrusting Chad's finger under the water.
"Chad?" Mike asks, his voice heavy with concern. "You okay?"
"Eh," Chad manages to murmur.
Mike shakes his head and then pulls Chad into a tight hug. "What am I
going to do with you?"
Chad doesn't answer. He just raises his uninjured hand and touches
his blood on Mike's lip.
"Yeah, yeah, I know," Mike says hurriedly as he starts pulling Chad
to the bathroom. "C'mon, let's get you cleaned-up, eh?"
Chad nods and stumbles after Mike to the bathroom. When Mike douses
the cut in antiseptic, Chad finally snaps out of it, yelping as he
pulls his hand away.
"Hey, hey," Mike protests, grabbing it back and slapping a Band-Aid
on Chad's finger.
"Thanks," Chad mutters, staring down at it.
Mike slaps his shoulder. "Watch yourself, okay?" He pulls Chad close
and kisses his temple lightly. "Let's go finish dinner."
Chad stares after Mike for a second, rubbing the spot he kissed
lightly.
**
"What're you reading?" Chad asks Mike, sliding closer to him on the
couch.
"Music theory," Mike answers without looking up.
"Oh," Chad says softly.
Mike looks up and smiles at him. "What're you doing? I thought you'd
be hanging out with Ryan."
Chad blinks, wondering if he misheard the disapproval in Mike's
voice. "No, not tonight."
Mike shuts his book and stands up. "Well, wanna jam then?"
"Sure," Chad exclaims, surprised.
Mike usually never wants to jam with him. So Chad stands up and goes
to the closet, pulling it open to search for his guitar. As he's
bending over to pick up the case off the floor, he feels something
touch his lower back and abruptly straightens up, his head hitting a
shelf.
"Ow," he mutters, rubbing his head.
"Lemme look," Mike says, laughing slightly. "I thought you were over
your gawky teenager phase."
Then he reaches up and brushes Chad's hair away, his fingers gently
probing the tender area. Chad feels himself flush at the touch, his
heart speeding up as Mike's fingers trail down the sides of his face
to cup his chin.
"Okay?" Mike asks.
"I'm fine," Chad answers, wincing as his voice cracks.
He steps out of Mike's grasp and quickly pulls his guitar out of the
closet, his hands shaking.
**
"What're you doing?" Mike mumbles, half-asleep.
"It's cold," Chad says.
Mike yawns. "No, you're cold. Get out of my bed, man."
"Mikey," Chad pleads.
Mike's eyes narrow, barely visible in the soft light from the street
lamp outside their window. "Chad? What? Are you sick or something?"
Chad shivers, sliding closer to Mike. "Just cold."
Mike sighs. "We're too big to be sleeping in the same bed."
Chad wraps his arms around Mike's waist, pulling him close. "Just
like when we were kids."
Mike shoves Chad away. "Damn it, Chad. We aren't fucking kids
anymore."
Chad freezes, eyes wide. Mike doesn't swear. At least not at him. He
really doesn't see the problem here, why this should upset Mike so
much. Especially after they had seemed to be getting closer lately.
"Just don't touch me," Mike mumbles after a long silence.
Then he flips over, putting his back to Chad. Shrugging, Chad slides
back against the wall, trying hard to follow Mike's instructions.
It's just that Chad is so cold, and Mike seems to be so warm. Half
asleep, Chad wraps himself around Mike. This time Mike just rolls
over and curls up against Chad, throwing one arm over Chad's hip.
Chad tangles his legs with Mike's, trying to get warmer. Mike groans
in his sleep, his breath hot on Chad's neck. It's addicting, Mike's
warmth, and Chad tries to get closer, sliding one leg in between
Mike's, bringing them as close as possible. Chad is a little
embarrassed to find that Mike is hard, but can't move away now. Mike
has wrapped his fingers around Chad's hair in his sleep.
Mike's brow furrows and Chad presses a light kiss to his temple, just
like Mike had done for him earlier that week. In response, Mike
kisses Chad's neck, muttering incoherently. Chad freezes, his whole
body stiffening as Mike rolls his hips against Chad's thigh, kissing
his neck again.
"Uhhh, Mike?" Chad whispers.
"Hmmmm?" Mike murmurs happily against his skin.
"What-- What're you doing?" Chad stammers.
"Why're you so tense, baby?" Mike asks huskily.
His hand slides from Chad's hip, down his boxers to cup his ass. Chad
groans involuntarily. He can't believe how his body is reacting. This
is his brother. His brother who is dead asleep and doesn't even know
what he's doing.
"Mike, stop," Chad mutters half-heartedly.
Mike kisses him instead. Crushing his mouth to Chad's for a sweet
second before abruptly pulling back, his eyes flying open.
"What the fuck?" Mike asks, blinking at Chad.
Chad reaches out and pulls him back. "No, it's okay."
"Shit, I'm sorry, Chad," Mike apologizes, disentangling their
legs. "Really. I thought you were someone else. Okay?"
"Yeah," Chad murmurs, re-tangling their legs. "I mean, no, it's okay.
I don't mind."
Before Mike can say another word, Chad kisses him, just barely
brushing their lips together. When Mike doesn't respond, he crushes
his mouth to Mike's, licking at Mike's lower lip until Mike opens his
mouth to him, letting their tongues play against each other for just
a second before Mike shoves Chad away.
"No," Mike shouts, his voice hoarse.
"What? I--"
"No," Mike repeats as he slides out of the bed, glancing at the
clock. "I have to be up in an hour for work anyway. I'm just going to
go sit out in the living room."
"You don't have to," Chad says as he sits up.
"It's wrong, Chad," Mike whispers as he picks up a pair of pants off
the floor before backing towards the door. "Wrong."
Then he's gone, leaving Chad alone and confused. Chad pulls his knees
up to his chest, feeling a different kind of cold.
**
"Would you move out of my way?" Mike demands his voice muffled by the
toothbrush in his mouth. "I have to go to work."
"I have to go to school," Chad mutters through his own toothbrush.
Mike spits into the sink. "Since when?"
"Since today," Chad answers, nudging Mike out of the way so he can
spit.
Mike shoves at Chad's shoulder and then puts his toothbrush away.
Chad is tired and still confused by what happened last night. He
can't resist shoving hard at Mike's chest, knocking him into the
door. Mike snarls and barrels into Chad's stomach, knocking the wind
out of him as his toothbrush falls to the floor.
"Fucker," Chad sneers, pounding his fists into Mike's back.
"Asshole," Mike grunts, shoving Chad into the wall and straightening
up.
Immediately, Chad punches him, hitting him square in the left eye.
The second his fist impacts Mike's face, he regrets it, watching
helplessly as Mike backs away to the door, clutching his eye.
"You little bastard," Mike hisses.
"I'm sorry," Chad mutters, looking at the floor.
"Fuck you," Mike spits, advancing on him. "I have to go to work. How
am I supposed to do that like this?"
Chad glances up, shifting nervously when he notices how close Mike
is. "I don't know."
"You don't know?" Mike asks sarcastically, leaning into Chad's face.
"What do you want me to say, Mikey?" Chad asks plaintively, looking
up at Mike through his eyelashes.
Mike flushes and steps back, running a hand through his hair. "What
the fuck is wrong with you?"
Chad steps forward and rests a hand on Mike's shoulder. "You kissed
me first."
"I was asleep," Mike cries in defense.
Closing his eyes, Chad leans in until his lips are just brushing
Mike's. "Not the second time."
"That was a mistake," Mike murmurs, his eyes drifting shut.
Chad slants his mouth over Mike's applying just the slightest
pressure to his lips, waiting for Mike to do something because Chad
is scared and unsure. Scared because he can't erase Mike's touch from
his head and unsure because he doesn't know how Mike will react this
time. He wants Mike's approval so badly.
"A mistake," Mike repeats against Chad's lips just before he kisses
him back.
**
"I love you," Mike whispers against Chad's neck. "You know that,
right?"
"Yeah," Chad whispers back, feeling kind of giddy because Mike has
never told him that. Because he always thought Mike kind of hated
him. "I love you too, Mikey."
Mike kisses Chad's neck, sucking lightly on his skin. Chad moans and
slides closer to Mike, his hand reaching for the front of Mike's
boxer shorts.
"No, no," Mike murmurs, pulling his hand away.
"I want to," Chad protests, caressing Mike's inner arm.
Mike shakes his head. "We can't--"
"Why not?" Chad frowns.
"Chad--" Mike cuts himself off with a sigh. "We just can't, you know
that."
Chad bites his lip, slightly panicked that Mike is going to pull away
from him again. "Don't you want me?"
"I--" Mike falters and kisses Chad instead. "Let's just go to sleep."
"Mike--"
"Shhhh," Mike cuts him off, kissing him again. "Sleep."
Chad frowns but slides closer to Mike and wraps his arms around him.
**
"What's this, Chad?"
Chad starts as he feels someone's fingers brushing across his neck
and turns around. "Ryan?"
"Yeah, dumbass," Ryan laughs as he slides into the seat across from
Chad. "You haven't been in school, so I figured you had to be here."
"How'd you figure that?" Chad asks, playing nervously with his coffee
cup.
"Well, Mike works here, right?" Ryan asks in return.
"What does that have to do with anything?" Chad demands.
"Jesus, Kroeger, what's your problem?" Ryan nods at a hickey on
Chad's neck. "I figured with that monster you'd be in a better mood."
"Fuck you, Peake," Chad snaps, his eyes darting nervously to Mike,
who is standing behind the counter, watching them.
Ryan frowns. "You fighting with your brother again?"
"I don't want to talk about it, okay?" Chad mutters.
"Fine," Ryan shrugs, "we won't talk about it. Let's talk about how
you're going to get expelled if you don't start showing up for
school."
Chad smirks. "You aren't my mother."
"No," Ryan smiles, "because she'd kick your ass if she knew. What,
Mike covering for you?"
"No," Chad exclaims, then lowers his voice, "I've been sick."
Ryan laughs. "Is that how you get hickeys these days?"
Chad blushes. "I--"
"Coffee?"
Chad jumps at the sound of Mike's voice, his knees banging against
the table. Ryan shoots him a curious look before turning to Mike.
"Nah, I just dropped in," Ryan answers.
Mike nods and refills Chad's cup. "You can't just hang around, you
know the rules."
"I know," Ryan mutters as Mike walks away. "Goddamn is your brother
an asshole sometimes."
Chad swallows hard under Mike's glare in their direction. "Maybe you
should just go, Ryan."
Ryan shakes his head and stands up. "You know, there's room in my
house--"
"Thanks, I'll be okay," Chad quickly interrupts.
"Whatever," Ryan says, already halfway to the door. "Later."
"Later," Chad echoes softly.
**
"What did you tell him?" Mike growls as they enter the apartment.
"Nothing," Chad answers quietly.
Mike whirls around, reaching past Chad to slam the door
shut. "Nothing? I saw him touching you."
"He was just playing around--"
"He's also two years older than you," Mike interrupts.
Chad frowns, confused by the argument. "What does that have to do
with anything?"
"It just fucking does," Mike yells. "And you can't be hanging around
at my work all the time either."
Chad ducks his head, following closely behind Mike as he moves into
the kitchen. Ever since that morning in the bathroom, Chad feels as
though he needs to be near Mike all the time. Like if he lets Mike
out of his sight, Mike will go back to being the old Mike who hates
him and doesn't talk to him.
"Okay," Chad whispers.
"Chad," Mike sighs. "Don't do this. You know that this is wrong,
don't you?"
"I know that," Chad answers, nervously touching his neck.
"And I didn't mean to give you that," Mike mutters. "This has got to
stop."
"What?" Chad gulps in panic. "No, I'll be more careful. No one will
ever know."
"Because this stops right now," Mike says firmly. "Sleep in your own
bed tonight." Chad reaches out for Mike, but Mike just steps back,
holding up a hand. "And go to school for fuck's sake before you end
up in jail again. Speaking of school…"
Chad stands helplessly in the kitchen as Mike walks into the living
room, picking up his backpack. "Mike?"
"What?" Mike asks absently.
Chad comes up behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist. "Please
don't."
Mike sighs, grabbing Chad's hands. "Chad--"
"Please," Chad pleads, evading Mike's grasp to cup his groin.
"No," Mike gasps, quickly shoving Chad's hands away and spinning
around. "Don't do that."
"Mikey--"
"Don't you ever fucking touch me like that again," Mike roars. "This
was stupid and wrong. A mistake. And it's over with Chad. Over."
With that he stomps out the door, slamming it hard behind him. Chad
stares after him for a long moment before his eyes harden with
remorse, blocking out the rest of the world.
**
End