(no subject)
A new revelation has come upon me this week: My boss is a giant pussy. He's such a big pussy that he might as well just complete the transformation and start to queef out of his mouth and ooze blood from his pores for five days a month (aren't you glad you started reading this?). I was previously somewhat aware of my bosses snatch-like tendencies, but it never crystallized so clearly in front if me until my latest experience.
When I no-showed work on Sunday and called later to apoligize, I was told that I would have to deal with Scott, the general manager, the next morning. Knowing full well that my boss is basically a six-foot-five, 280 pound vagina with legs (along with the fact that I hate my job and could care less if I got fired), any fear I had about the situation began to leave me quicker than a black man leaving a Jeff Foxworthy show.
The next day, as I predicted, my boss didn't say one word to me. Not one word about me missing work, not one word about anything. I thought, foolishly of course, that I was off the hook due to my bosses apparent morbid fear of any sort of conflict. I began to forgot about the whole mess, and even took a different point of view on the matter, realizing that in situations like this, my bosses vagin-ess (patent pending) could potentially work in my favor.
The next day, my boss again gave me the silent treatment. I should probably point out at this point that this is normal. My boss always ignores me completely, save for the days when he feels like bragging about his golf score or a neat shortcut he found, or when he's letting me hear his ingenious plan to save money by installing DVD players in his car himself rather than buy them stock or pay someone to do it. Towards the end of my shift, one of the assistant managers walked over and shoved a piece of paper under my nose, informing me that it was a written warning and that Scott had told her to make me sign it.
Now, if you were reprimanding your employee for something, wouldn't it be a little more significant if you had the talk with the employee yourself? Wouldn't it ALSO be a little more significant if you took action as soon after the incident as possible, rather than waiting two full days to do anything about it? Furthermore, wouldn't you be afraid that not doing anything about the whole situation personally would make you come off as a little bitch who's afraid to take control of the people you supposedly oversee? If you answered no to any of the previous questions, I look forward to the inevitable day that I order a quarter pounder from you. Just kidding, Just kidding... It'll be a Filet'o'fish.
I signed it, and walked away, but not before the AM could squeeze just a little more icing on the proverbial cake. She told me that Scott had also asked her to inform me that this was my last written warning, and if it happened one more time I would be suspended or fired.
Let's recap: I did something bad enough to be worthy of a final written warning, and my boss, at no point, said or did anything about it himself. He sent a lackey to do his dirty work so he wouldn't have to deal with the conflict head-on. This incident, while not particularly serious, lets me know that my relationship with Panera Bread is about to end.
A boss is supposed to be a role model for the people he oversees. If I were to take his example to heart, I would be well within my rights to not do anything that might be a little unpleasant. "Take the garbage out back? Oh no... the garbage is dirty, I might accidentally get some of it on my hands. I'll tell you what, why don't you go tell someone else to do it, and I'll just stay back here in the office and finish explaining how cool I am for driving from LA to San Fransisco in under six hours."
Right.
When I no-showed work on Sunday and called later to apoligize, I was told that I would have to deal with Scott, the general manager, the next morning. Knowing full well that my boss is basically a six-foot-five, 280 pound vagina with legs (along with the fact that I hate my job and could care less if I got fired), any fear I had about the situation began to leave me quicker than a black man leaving a Jeff Foxworthy show.
The next day, as I predicted, my boss didn't say one word to me. Not one word about me missing work, not one word about anything. I thought, foolishly of course, that I was off the hook due to my bosses apparent morbid fear of any sort of conflict. I began to forgot about the whole mess, and even took a different point of view on the matter, realizing that in situations like this, my bosses vagin-ess (patent pending) could potentially work in my favor.
The next day, my boss again gave me the silent treatment. I should probably point out at this point that this is normal. My boss always ignores me completely, save for the days when he feels like bragging about his golf score or a neat shortcut he found, or when he's letting me hear his ingenious plan to save money by installing DVD players in his car himself rather than buy them stock or pay someone to do it. Towards the end of my shift, one of the assistant managers walked over and shoved a piece of paper under my nose, informing me that it was a written warning and that Scott had told her to make me sign it.
Now, if you were reprimanding your employee for something, wouldn't it be a little more significant if you had the talk with the employee yourself? Wouldn't it ALSO be a little more significant if you took action as soon after the incident as possible, rather than waiting two full days to do anything about it? Furthermore, wouldn't you be afraid that not doing anything about the whole situation personally would make you come off as a little bitch who's afraid to take control of the people you supposedly oversee? If you answered no to any of the previous questions, I look forward to the inevitable day that I order a quarter pounder from you. Just kidding, Just kidding... It'll be a Filet'o'fish.
I signed it, and walked away, but not before the AM could squeeze just a little more icing on the proverbial cake. She told me that Scott had also asked her to inform me that this was my last written warning, and if it happened one more time I would be suspended or fired.
Let's recap: I did something bad enough to be worthy of a final written warning, and my boss, at no point, said or did anything about it himself. He sent a lackey to do his dirty work so he wouldn't have to deal with the conflict head-on. This incident, while not particularly serious, lets me know that my relationship with Panera Bread is about to end.
A boss is supposed to be a role model for the people he oversees. If I were to take his example to heart, I would be well within my rights to not do anything that might be a little unpleasant. "Take the garbage out back? Oh no... the garbage is dirty, I might accidentally get some of it on my hands. I'll tell you what, why don't you go tell someone else to do it, and I'll just stay back here in the office and finish explaining how cool I am for driving from LA to San Fransisco in under six hours."
Right.