never ending line of journals
okay well... yet again.. another journal! thanks drea!!! :P... i luv you!... whats new... i like this guy named cory... i think hes a guy that i could spend my entire life with.. or at least half of it... i mean he is the sweetest guy iv ever met in real life... i heard he was engaged once... honestly i think im ready for something like that... so commited to one person.. i want to be commited to cory... i just have to wait for him to say those beautiful words... will you go out with me?... yes.. of course i will.. its not like marriage.. gag... lol... maybe later on.... i would say yes to marriage if he asked me like maybe at least 2 years from now... mom keeps having this vision that im ganna get married before i go to college... maybe shes right.. i used to think... yeah right.. with who.. who would love me.... but i guess things change.. this is so gay.. were not even going out yet and im talking about marriage.. i wish amber never told me that about cory.. now im ganna expect it...damnit!!! ... before i knew this though i told mel.. that i want cory and i to last the longest... iv got a feeling it will.. everyone keeps saying it will.. maybe it will. i hope... well.. thats all... dare i attempt to get over shon... he loves me too much.. but he knows we cant be together.. and i think its killing him too... he doesnt want hugs cuz he fears it will hurt me... and he cant sleep.. i cant sleep.. and hes cutting.... shit... its so emotional.. love is ganna bring heart ache to me and shon... but now im moving on... with someone new..... im sorry.. i will still always love shon though... i think he was the first person that ever loved me for who i really was....