Next Time, With Lasers [Anissina, Densham; G]
Title: Next Time, With Lasers
Author: chaineddove
Fandom: Kyou Kara Maou
Rating: G
Genre: Humor
Characters: Anissina, Densham, and a very exasperated tutor named Hilde-chan.
Wordcount: 1,300
Disclaimer: I do not own anything except Anissina's very useful invention. Also, her great-aunt is named after my niece, and her tutor is named after a medieval composer, but I doubt anyone notices or cares.
Author's Notes: Densham turns sixteen, Anissina makes a surprisingly tame gesture (especially compared to last year), nothing explodes, Anissina develops a fondness for lasers, and Densham acquires the first of many pet chickens. No purple velvet doublets were harmed in the making of this fic.
In honor of the lovely doumeki's birthday, because she asked for von Kapernikov sibling gen ♥
***
“This is a very important event,” the horse-faced tutor droned. Anissina yawned widely and didn’t bother covering her mouth. “On his sixteenth birthday, Lord Densham will officially accept his full responsibilities as head of the von Kapernikov family. You do understand that, don’t you, young lady?”
“Of course I do,” Anissina told her. “I’m not stupid, Hilde-chan.”
A vein pulsed on her tutor’s forehead. “I wish you wouldn’t call me that, Anissina-dono.”
“And I wish my dolls shot lasers from their eyes.” Her face grew thoughtful. “Though now that I mention it…”
“Anissina-dono!” Hildegarde took a deep breath and let it out in a long-suffering sigh. “You are not stupid, as you say, so you do understand that you cannot cause your brother any trouble at the ball.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Hilde-chan,” Anissina said airily, swinging her legs then hopping off of her chair. “I love my brother very much. Why would I cause any trouble for him?” She smiled cheerily, looking altogether too sweet and innocent for her own good, though it was unlikely that her tutor was going to fall for it this time.
“Anissina-dono, each time you profess to love someone very much - take Gwendal-sama as an example - they generally end up injured or at the very least suffering a great deal of property damage. I really don’t think-”
“I can’t believe you’d accuse me of such a thing, Hilde-chan,” Anissina chirped. “Gwendal hurts himself, you know. If he isn’t capable of properly following my directions-”
“Anissina-dono!” the tutor exploded. “You must promise me you will behave!”
“I do not intend to cause any trouble,” Anissina said. “As I said before you so rudely interrupted me, I simply intend to wish my brother, who I love very much, a happy birthday. I don’t know why you are being so fussy about this.”
“And just how, pray tell, do you intend to wish him a happy birthday?” Hildegarde asked suspiciously. “Because if you recall, the ‘Kohi Chorus’ you so cleverly came up with last year was a marked disaster, and your great-aunt Ksenia was not the least bit entertained.”
“No, I don’t suppose she was,” Anissina said with a shrug. “Well, it seems that particular experiment was a failure. But not to worry, I’ve reformed.”
“Have you,” the tutor said with a sigh. “And what shall it be this year?”
“I shall give Aniue a chicken,” Anissina announced.
“…A chicken?”
“A demon chicken,” Anissina said with relish, just so her tutor wouldn’t think she was going soft. Before she could be coerced into a promise not to do it, she escaped from the audience room towards her makeshift laboratory (whatever anyone else said, it was not a kitchen closet), where no one else would dare venture. She had preparations to take care of.
***
“Where are we-”
“If you don’t shut up, I’m going to gag you, too.”
“Imouto! I’m already wearing a blindfold! Don’t you think you’re taking this a bit too far?”
“If you knew where I was taking you, I’d have to kill you afterwards.”
“Imouto! Everyone knows about you and your stupid explosions and your stupid close-”
“Quiet! I’m not telling you again, Aniue! And stop grumbling about getting your clothes dirty, too; you’d think I was going to drag you through the mud or something!”
“…Well, you might blow something up on me instead, and I am rather fond of this particular doublet, so if you don’t mind-”
“Oh fine,” Anissina said regally. “We have arrived, in any case, and I’ll have you notice I did not stain or otherwise mar your pretty purple doublet.” She tugged the blindfold from his eyes. “There. Be grateful you have such a lovely, thoughtful younger sister.”
Densham blinked a few times. “Um,” he said. “It hasn’t exploded on me yet, so yes, I’m profoundly grateful, but what exactly is it?”
Anissina huffed in exasperation. “You are obviously blind, Aniue,” she said. “I don’t actually know why I bother. Clearly, you don’t have enough brains to appreciate my genius.” She patted the large contraption, which consisted of several metal tubes, a whirring fan, a tangle of wires, and a large box decorated with multicolored buttons and feathers. “It is quite obviously Super Intense Hatching-Helper-kun.” Her brother blinked again. “Oh, for the love of Shinou, Aniue. It’s an incubator.”
Densham walked up to the box and gingerly poked at one of the buttons. There was a strange gurgling sound and he gave the apparatus a worried glance, but nothing happened otherwise. “You’re giving me an incubator for my birthday?” he asked. “That’s… surprisingly tame.”
“It’s called Super Intense Hatching-Helper-kun,” Anissina told him pointedly, “and no, I am not giving it to you for your birthday! Are you stupid?”
“Who’s stupid?!” Densham protested. “You blindfold me and bring me down here the day before my birthday to, quote, ‘see my birthday present,’ and now you’re calling me stupid?”
“I couldn’t bring you here the day of your birthday; Hilde-chan expressly forbade it,” Anissina said primly. “It doesn’t bite, you know.”
“It wouldn’t be the first one to bite,” her brother grumbled. “I’m going back upstairs.”
“Aniue!” Anissina cried out and stamped her foot. “Stay! Here! And take! Your present! Like a man!” She glared. “I’m told that’s what you’re supposed to be after tomorrow, though honestly-”
“But you just said this wasn’t for me!”
“Obviously it isn’t for you!” She stomped over to him and grabbed him by the wrist to drag him over to the box. “Honestly! I can’t believe someone with so little vision is my brother!”
“Imouto, what are you doing!? I don’t think-”
“I really should have gagged you, in retrospect,” Anissina said conversationally. “Stop fussing, idiot. Put your hand here.” She positioned it and the box began to glow. A low humming sound emanated from the machine and she nodded contentedly. “Good, just in time. It’s powered by maryoku, you know. Keep holding.” She let go of his hand and flipped the box open to pull out something small, which she placed into his other hand. “There.”
“There what?” Densham asked, clearly only a little relieved when whatever-it-was didn’t immediately try to eat him. He chanced a sideways glance at it to discover he was holding a mottled purple and green egg.
“There,” Anissina repeated. “Now wait.”
“For what?” Densham asked, but then the egg shuddered in his hand. Something small and sharp struck his palm. Before he could drop the egg in surprise, his sister’s hands were there to hold it steady. A small, wet head emerged and made a tiny peeping sound.
“I thought you could use a pet so you wouldn’t get a big head, being head of the family and all,” Anissina told him matter-of factly. “And Hilde-chan wouldn’t let me go out and get a dragon egg, so I suppose this will have to do. Now say thank you.”
Densham stared at the chick which was struggling to break free in their cupped hands. He fought to hold back a smile and largely failed. “I… thank you.”
“Very good,” Anissina said smugly. “You are welcome. Now you may apologize for ever doubting me and go on with your business, if you actually have any.”
“Thank you,” Densham said again. “No, really. It’s very…”
Anissina blushed and looked at the floor. “You’re never allowed to say I’ve never invented anything useful again,” she grumbled. “Now get out of my secret laboratory before I change my mind and give you something that bites.”
Never one to take his sister’s amnesty for granted, Densham ran.
Anissina looked critically at Super Intense Hatching-Helper-kun and swung the box closed. “Next time, we’ll manage one with lasers,” she told the machine. “Definitely lasers. This one is probably only good for dinner.”
Author: chaineddove
Fandom: Kyou Kara Maou
Rating: G
Genre: Humor
Characters: Anissina, Densham, and a very exasperated tutor named Hilde-chan.
Wordcount: 1,300
Disclaimer: I do not own anything except Anissina's very useful invention. Also, her great-aunt is named after my niece, and her tutor is named after a medieval composer, but I doubt anyone notices or cares.
Author's Notes: Densham turns sixteen, Anissina makes a surprisingly tame gesture (especially compared to last year), nothing explodes, Anissina develops a fondness for lasers, and Densham acquires the first of many pet chickens. No purple velvet doublets were harmed in the making of this fic.
In honor of the lovely doumeki's birthday, because she asked for von Kapernikov sibling gen ♥
***
“This is a very important event,” the horse-faced tutor droned. Anissina yawned widely and didn’t bother covering her mouth. “On his sixteenth birthday, Lord Densham will officially accept his full responsibilities as head of the von Kapernikov family. You do understand that, don’t you, young lady?”
“Of course I do,” Anissina told her. “I’m not stupid, Hilde-chan.”
A vein pulsed on her tutor’s forehead. “I wish you wouldn’t call me that, Anissina-dono.”
“And I wish my dolls shot lasers from their eyes.” Her face grew thoughtful. “Though now that I mention it…”
“Anissina-dono!” Hildegarde took a deep breath and let it out in a long-suffering sigh. “You are not stupid, as you say, so you do understand that you cannot cause your brother any trouble at the ball.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Hilde-chan,” Anissina said airily, swinging her legs then hopping off of her chair. “I love my brother very much. Why would I cause any trouble for him?” She smiled cheerily, looking altogether too sweet and innocent for her own good, though it was unlikely that her tutor was going to fall for it this time.
“Anissina-dono, each time you profess to love someone very much - take Gwendal-sama as an example - they generally end up injured or at the very least suffering a great deal of property damage. I really don’t think-”
“I can’t believe you’d accuse me of such a thing, Hilde-chan,” Anissina chirped. “Gwendal hurts himself, you know. If he isn’t capable of properly following my directions-”
“Anissina-dono!” the tutor exploded. “You must promise me you will behave!”
“I do not intend to cause any trouble,” Anissina said. “As I said before you so rudely interrupted me, I simply intend to wish my brother, who I love very much, a happy birthday. I don’t know why you are being so fussy about this.”
“And just how, pray tell, do you intend to wish him a happy birthday?” Hildegarde asked suspiciously. “Because if you recall, the ‘Kohi Chorus’ you so cleverly came up with last year was a marked disaster, and your great-aunt Ksenia was not the least bit entertained.”
“No, I don’t suppose she was,” Anissina said with a shrug. “Well, it seems that particular experiment was a failure. But not to worry, I’ve reformed.”
“Have you,” the tutor said with a sigh. “And what shall it be this year?”
“I shall give Aniue a chicken,” Anissina announced.
“…A chicken?”
“A demon chicken,” Anissina said with relish, just so her tutor wouldn’t think she was going soft. Before she could be coerced into a promise not to do it, she escaped from the audience room towards her makeshift laboratory (whatever anyone else said, it was not a kitchen closet), where no one else would dare venture. She had preparations to take care of.
***
“Where are we-”
“If you don’t shut up, I’m going to gag you, too.”
“Imouto! I’m already wearing a blindfold! Don’t you think you’re taking this a bit too far?”
“If you knew where I was taking you, I’d have to kill you afterwards.”
“Imouto! Everyone knows about you and your stupid explosions and your stupid close-”
“Quiet! I’m not telling you again, Aniue! And stop grumbling about getting your clothes dirty, too; you’d think I was going to drag you through the mud or something!”
“…Well, you might blow something up on me instead, and I am rather fond of this particular doublet, so if you don’t mind-”
“Oh fine,” Anissina said regally. “We have arrived, in any case, and I’ll have you notice I did not stain or otherwise mar your pretty purple doublet.” She tugged the blindfold from his eyes. “There. Be grateful you have such a lovely, thoughtful younger sister.”
Densham blinked a few times. “Um,” he said. “It hasn’t exploded on me yet, so yes, I’m profoundly grateful, but what exactly is it?”
Anissina huffed in exasperation. “You are obviously blind, Aniue,” she said. “I don’t actually know why I bother. Clearly, you don’t have enough brains to appreciate my genius.” She patted the large contraption, which consisted of several metal tubes, a whirring fan, a tangle of wires, and a large box decorated with multicolored buttons and feathers. “It is quite obviously Super Intense Hatching-Helper-kun.” Her brother blinked again. “Oh, for the love of Shinou, Aniue. It’s an incubator.”
Densham walked up to the box and gingerly poked at one of the buttons. There was a strange gurgling sound and he gave the apparatus a worried glance, but nothing happened otherwise. “You’re giving me an incubator for my birthday?” he asked. “That’s… surprisingly tame.”
“It’s called Super Intense Hatching-Helper-kun,” Anissina told him pointedly, “and no, I am not giving it to you for your birthday! Are you stupid?”
“Who’s stupid?!” Densham protested. “You blindfold me and bring me down here the day before my birthday to, quote, ‘see my birthday present,’ and now you’re calling me stupid?”
“I couldn’t bring you here the day of your birthday; Hilde-chan expressly forbade it,” Anissina said primly. “It doesn’t bite, you know.”
“It wouldn’t be the first one to bite,” her brother grumbled. “I’m going back upstairs.”
“Aniue!” Anissina cried out and stamped her foot. “Stay! Here! And take! Your present! Like a man!” She glared. “I’m told that’s what you’re supposed to be after tomorrow, though honestly-”
“But you just said this wasn’t for me!”
“Obviously it isn’t for you!” She stomped over to him and grabbed him by the wrist to drag him over to the box. “Honestly! I can’t believe someone with so little vision is my brother!”
“Imouto, what are you doing!? I don’t think-”
“I really should have gagged you, in retrospect,” Anissina said conversationally. “Stop fussing, idiot. Put your hand here.” She positioned it and the box began to glow. A low humming sound emanated from the machine and she nodded contentedly. “Good, just in time. It’s powered by maryoku, you know. Keep holding.” She let go of his hand and flipped the box open to pull out something small, which she placed into his other hand. “There.”
“There what?” Densham asked, clearly only a little relieved when whatever-it-was didn’t immediately try to eat him. He chanced a sideways glance at it to discover he was holding a mottled purple and green egg.
“There,” Anissina repeated. “Now wait.”
“For what?” Densham asked, but then the egg shuddered in his hand. Something small and sharp struck his palm. Before he could drop the egg in surprise, his sister’s hands were there to hold it steady. A small, wet head emerged and made a tiny peeping sound.
“I thought you could use a pet so you wouldn’t get a big head, being head of the family and all,” Anissina told him matter-of factly. “And Hilde-chan wouldn’t let me go out and get a dragon egg, so I suppose this will have to do. Now say thank you.”
Densham stared at the chick which was struggling to break free in their cupped hands. He fought to hold back a smile and largely failed. “I… thank you.”
“Very good,” Anissina said smugly. “You are welcome. Now you may apologize for ever doubting me and go on with your business, if you actually have any.”
“Thank you,” Densham said again. “No, really. It’s very…”
Anissina blushed and looked at the floor. “You’re never allowed to say I’ve never invented anything useful again,” she grumbled. “Now get out of my secret laboratory before I change my mind and give you something that bites.”
Never one to take his sister’s amnesty for granted, Densham ran.
Anissina looked critically at Super Intense Hatching-Helper-kun and swung the box closed. “Next time, we’ll manage one with lasers,” she told the machine. “Definitely lasers. This one is probably only good for dinner.”