We Dance Between the Lines [Saeki/Ashiwara, Shindou, Waya ; PG]

Sep 28, 2011 22:48

Title: We Dance Between the Lines
Author: stillskies
Fandom: Hikaru no Go
Rating: PG
Genre: Romance
Characters/Pairing: Saeki/Ashiwara, Shindou, Waya
Wordcount: 802
Disclaimer: Not mine. Obata-sensei and Hotta-sensei own all. I'm just playing with them. ♥
A/N: Companion fic to Between the Lines We Dance. Saeki's POV.

Kouji is daydreaming again. He has his hand in Ashiwara's soft, soft hair and he can feel Ashiwara's fingers digging into his chest. He knows he needs to focus - he's sure that Ashiwara is babbling about something, waiting for Kouji to interrupt, to follow the script - but it feels so real and his lips are buzzing against Ashiwara's.

Suddenly, Ashiwara pulls away and stares, and Kouji's first thought is 'huh,' until he realizes he can still feel the ghost of Ashiwara's lips against his own, and then it's 'oh shit.'

Stupidly, he places two fingers to his mouth as though he'll be able to feel the buzzing through his fingers, and stares back. He knows he needs to say something, but his mind is blank. Finally, Ashiwara turns around runs.

Kouji watches him go. It only occurs to him once he gets home that he should have followed.

*

The Morishita study group is always loud. Kouji usually doesn't mind - in fact, he prefers it to the silently oppressive atmosphere of most study groups - but Shindou's voice is too loud today and Waya's laughter is grating. Of course, he's sure the sledgehammer grinding against his temples has something to do with it.

"Are you all right, Saeki-san?"

He knows Shindou means well, but his voice is just. So. Loud. He winces and nods. "I didn't sleep last night."

Waya drops to floor beside him and gives him a knowing look. "Stay out late drinking?"

It's more convenient than the truth, so Kouji nods again and hopes that's the end of it.

**

He pulls the envelope out of his messenger bag and hopes he's not making a mistake.

"Hey, Shindou-kun," Kouji says as soon as they're out of sight of Morishita's. "You're going to Touya-sensei's study group tomorrow night, right?"

Shindou nods. "Why?"

Kouji takes a breath and holds out the envelope. "Can you give this to Ashiwara-san?"

***

By the time he sits down at the goban, he's ready to slaughter his opponent. Waya sits across from him and grins.

"Has Ashiwara-san replied to your love letter, yet?"

Kouji doesn't bother to reply - he simply grabs the goke and smiles back.

Waya's smile is gone by midgame.

****

Ashiwara doesn't change. He still drags Kouji to lunch, and Kouji still gives a token protest. Ashiwara still chatters non-stop and occasionally invites him to play a game at the Touya Go Salon.

Where Kouji used to politely decline, he now accepts.

Where he used to keep his distance, he now hovers in Ashiwara's personal space.

Ashiwara doesn’t change, but Kouji does.

*****

It goes on for a year. Kouji tries to move forward and Ashiwara dances back.

Neither of them mentions the letter.

Sometimes Kouji wonders if he even wrote it at all.

****

He makes it through the second round of the Jyuudan League by the skin of his teeth. He thanks his opponent and goes to record his win when he sees Ashiwara bowing to one of the lower dans, who looks slightly shocked.

Ashiwara turns and momentarily meets his gaze before quickly turning back to his opponent.

When Ashiwara leaves, Kouji follows.

***

He's never been to Ashiwara's apartment before. He checks the number on the door six times before he actually gathers up the courage to ring the doorbell.

One.

Two.

He wonders if maybe the doorbell is broken and is raising his hand to knock when the door opens and Ashiwara is standing there, staring.

He doesn't say anything.

He doesn't need to.

Ashiwara lets him in.

**

The tea is too sweet and the silence is too awkward.

He puts his cup on the coffee table and turns to Ashiwara.

"We can't keep going on like this."

Ashiwara is looking into his tea cup so intently that Kouji thinks that maybe it holds the answers to whatever has been going on between them for the last year. He wants to shake Ashiwara, demand some sort of answer, any answer. Instead, he moves to the floor and takes Ashiwara's chin between his fingers and moves his face away from the tea.

He wonders if he looks as scared.

"I'll keep chasing you, Ashiwara-san."

There is even more silence and Kouji is about to let go, take the silence as his answer, when he hears Ashiwara say, "Hiroyuki."

Kouji wonders if he knows what he's doing; if Ashiwara knows what he's doing. He decides it's too late to worry about that now - decides that if it didn't come up in the last year, it clearly doesn't matter.

"Hiroyuki."

*

There's no agreement to meet up before oteai matches, but Kouji waits in the lobby anyway. When Ashiwara walks up to him, he's holding a white envelope which he presses into Kouji's hands.

He smiles and Ashiwara smiles back.

author: sherri, fandom: hikaru no go

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