A jumbled mess of reason.
Let's chant obscenities while we dance in the rain.
And be happy and sad at the same time.
And pretend to be happy with what we're doing.
Let's pull the wool over our own eyes because we don't want to deal with life.
And get upset at those who try and get a better view.
And lash out at those trying to move from wool to something a bit less constrictive-- say, silk?
Something Sexy and Smooth.
That's all I'm saying.
!
Hell, I don't know.
Maybe I just want to chant.
Or just want to dance in the rain.
Or just want to... obscenities?
!
Maybe we can sneak away and steal off into the shower.
It's always so warm in there-- so secure.
Let's take one long shower and never come out.
!
Eat the flesh of man!
Zombie Pirate's Attack!
My cult will definitely have Zombie-Pirate mythos.
Maybe less on the bit of manflesh, though.
That sounds uncomfortable.
!
They'll be a lot of chanting in my cult.
Really good music, and killer drinks at half the price.
We'll do things like potluck dinners, and sponsor soccer teams.
People will hate us, but we'll be mostly good.
And we'll love it because we're all self-hating gluttons.
We'll have a reason to spite others-- and think of ourselves as better for not going down to 'their' level.
!
I'd make my followers pat dues.
I don't want all your money at once.
That'll make me seem like a cult.
It'll be like a group of people who think the same things, instead.
And they pay.
It'll be like a society.
!
If it were left up to me (which it is) I'd have mandatory meetings.
These meetings would evolve into crazy-kinky-sex parties.
The reason?
Sexual repression sucks.
Free your mind.
!
Members of my cult would be asked not to do drugs.
Except for the one time a year where we would all go on a spirit journey.
We'd use something trance-inducing.
I'd have to read up on it.
I've got time.
!
My cult will have many religious texts.
Every member would have to submit one.
It will be holy because it is important to them.
They will be shared and a sense of community would be fostered through written word.
Then we'd burn them all.
!
Every second Thursday would be known as "crazy Thursday".
Crazy Thursday would be a festival.
Everyone would dress up in costume and dance in the streets.
We would have that Friday off.
I think this would solve a lot of problems with stress.
!
Everyone would choose an apprentice upon reaching adulthood.
Your apprentice would be like a son/daughter.
You would be like a second parent.
This way- there is always love and openness.
You would help this child form a philosophy.
This is important.
It has nothing to do with jobs or experience.
!
There would be no marriage allowed.
We would foster the belief to love everything.
In this way we would avoid feelings of restriction, while having feelings of commitment.
Also, the sex would be great.
!
The last Friday of the month will be called "Eat".
Just "Eat".
You'd have to do finger quotes when you say it, too.
Basically, we would all get together and have a shared dinner.
Followed by boardgames.
Or cards.
Or video games.
Something fun.
This way we would feel a sense of community.
!
I would call my cult something cool.
It whouldn't be a "church" of anything.
It would be the "Cult of Tea".
Or, more aptly, "The Followers of Greenstick Teaism".
Because Tea is life, and philosophy stems from there.
That is all.
And be happy and sad at the same time.
And pretend to be happy with what we're doing.
Let's pull the wool over our own eyes because we don't want to deal with life.
And get upset at those who try and get a better view.
And lash out at those trying to move from wool to something a bit less constrictive-- say, silk?
Something Sexy and Smooth.
That's all I'm saying.
!
Hell, I don't know.
Maybe I just want to chant.
Or just want to dance in the rain.
Or just want to... obscenities?
!
Maybe we can sneak away and steal off into the shower.
It's always so warm in there-- so secure.
Let's take one long shower and never come out.
!
Eat the flesh of man!
Zombie Pirate's Attack!
My cult will definitely have Zombie-Pirate mythos.
Maybe less on the bit of manflesh, though.
That sounds uncomfortable.
!
They'll be a lot of chanting in my cult.
Really good music, and killer drinks at half the price.
We'll do things like potluck dinners, and sponsor soccer teams.
People will hate us, but we'll be mostly good.
And we'll love it because we're all self-hating gluttons.
We'll have a reason to spite others-- and think of ourselves as better for not going down to 'their' level.
!
I'd make my followers pat dues.
I don't want all your money at once.
That'll make me seem like a cult.
It'll be like a group of people who think the same things, instead.
And they pay.
It'll be like a society.
!
If it were left up to me (which it is) I'd have mandatory meetings.
These meetings would evolve into crazy-kinky-sex parties.
The reason?
Sexual repression sucks.
Free your mind.
!
Members of my cult would be asked not to do drugs.
Except for the one time a year where we would all go on a spirit journey.
We'd use something trance-inducing.
I'd have to read up on it.
I've got time.
!
My cult will have many religious texts.
Every member would have to submit one.
It will be holy because it is important to them.
They will be shared and a sense of community would be fostered through written word.
Then we'd burn them all.
!
Every second Thursday would be known as "crazy Thursday".
Crazy Thursday would be a festival.
Everyone would dress up in costume and dance in the streets.
We would have that Friday off.
I think this would solve a lot of problems with stress.
!
Everyone would choose an apprentice upon reaching adulthood.
Your apprentice would be like a son/daughter.
You would be like a second parent.
This way- there is always love and openness.
You would help this child form a philosophy.
This is important.
It has nothing to do with jobs or experience.
!
There would be no marriage allowed.
We would foster the belief to love everything.
In this way we would avoid feelings of restriction, while having feelings of commitment.
Also, the sex would be great.
!
The last Friday of the month will be called "Eat".
Just "Eat".
You'd have to do finger quotes when you say it, too.
Basically, we would all get together and have a shared dinner.
Followed by boardgames.
Or cards.
Or video games.
Something fun.
This way we would feel a sense of community.
!
I would call my cult something cool.
It whouldn't be a "church" of anything.
It would be the "Cult of Tea".
Or, more aptly, "The Followers of Greenstick Teaism".
Because Tea is life, and philosophy stems from there.
That is all.