There are too many people and there aren't enough people
I want a realdar. It would be like a gaydar, only it would hone in on "real" people. You know, people who have a clue, who have their eyes open, who aren't afraid of their own potential depth; people with internal conflicts that go beyond what purse to buy; people who regularly hurt, love, and laugh; people who are varied; people who are warm...
But I want it to work both ways. The obnoxious thing about depth is that it takes so long to convey, by its nature. I can't just walk up to a girl that looks interesting, sit down and say, "Hey, I can't think of anything cool to say, but I promise if you'll take the time to get to know me, you'll like me. It takes awhile for me to grow on people, but I really am a very interesting person with a lot to offer." Well, I could, but it sounds either obvious or arrogant, and it certainly doesn't convey anything except what I think of myself. Doesn't every guy think he's honest and kind?
I hate time. It's always slow when I need it to be fast and fast when I need it to be slow. I want to date, but I want to skip those first few dates. Somehow, if I'm with someone who's amazing, I'm a brainfart all night; but if I'm with someone whom I don't find interesting, I'm Oscar Wilde. The only person I'm me around is my old friends. And they're all taken.
There should be snuggle rentals. Like hookers, only they'd be a very different kind of person, and you'd just pay for a couple hours of spooning, sighing, and maybe watching Seinfeld. :-P They'd pretend to love you, maybe throw in a kiss on the forehead. A backrub would be the "happy ending" you might tip extra for. :)
Yeah, next time I'm at the clubs trying to pick up a girl, I'll say, "Hey, maybe you and I should go back to my place and (dramatic pause) sit on the couch making fun of infomercials." Of course, for my own entertainment, I would have to raise my eyebrows when I said the last bit.
And if we were lucky, we'd make it back in time to watch Chuck Norris and Christy Brinkley talk about the abs I can have in six days or less. :)
....
I also really want to make beef scented air freshener...
But I want it to work both ways. The obnoxious thing about depth is that it takes so long to convey, by its nature. I can't just walk up to a girl that looks interesting, sit down and say, "Hey, I can't think of anything cool to say, but I promise if you'll take the time to get to know me, you'll like me. It takes awhile for me to grow on people, but I really am a very interesting person with a lot to offer." Well, I could, but it sounds either obvious or arrogant, and it certainly doesn't convey anything except what I think of myself. Doesn't every guy think he's honest and kind?
I hate time. It's always slow when I need it to be fast and fast when I need it to be slow. I want to date, but I want to skip those first few dates. Somehow, if I'm with someone who's amazing, I'm a brainfart all night; but if I'm with someone whom I don't find interesting, I'm Oscar Wilde. The only person I'm me around is my old friends. And they're all taken.
There should be snuggle rentals. Like hookers, only they'd be a very different kind of person, and you'd just pay for a couple hours of spooning, sighing, and maybe watching Seinfeld. :-P They'd pretend to love you, maybe throw in a kiss on the forehead. A backrub would be the "happy ending" you might tip extra for. :)
Yeah, next time I'm at the clubs trying to pick up a girl, I'll say, "Hey, maybe you and I should go back to my place and (dramatic pause) sit on the couch making fun of infomercials." Of course, for my own entertainment, I would have to raise my eyebrows when I said the last bit.
And if we were lucky, we'd make it back in time to watch Chuck Norris and Christy Brinkley talk about the abs I can have in six days or less. :)
....
I also really want to make beef scented air freshener...