Everything Swirling Around In My Head.....
Okay, hello everybody, or whoever's still reading my journal haha... um, so let's see. So many things are flying around in my head that I can't fully talk about it in a clear way that will make sense...so....I think I'll put a list of current topics or events that I need or have to resolve......blahblahblahblah This is a long one ladies and gents, so if your real bored and have time, lol, feel free to read I guess, if not hey it's cool.
**An online friend of mine with fm that i've kept in touch with and yes still never met, since 99 has had some tests done to see if she has malignant tumors along her the sides of her throat and neck(both sides). Last week, a certain test showed a benign biopsy sample they took from her throat......yet today(well friday)upon seeing her again, she was told she has 4 tumors, not 3 as orginally thought.........sigh.....and though the test from last week showed a benign result, the other tumors could still with a 25% chance be canceris/malignant. A lot of women on her mom's side of the family have had cancer, and died from it. She's actually visiting an aunt this weekend in Vegas that could go any day now, though she was given 6 months. I'm doing my best not to be selfish about my feelings, but I really don't wanna lose someone I care about, again. My nephew was a shock a few years ago, and.......I haven't even met and just hugged her yet. She's got a bf and a cutie patootie lil boy whose like 4. Okay, just needed to vent that out of my body. (Taking a deep breathe)
My List of Things and Situations Going On
1 - Mountain Man(Shasta, CA) WTF? To overwhelming for me to think about anymore. He's exhausting and we've not even met in person yet.
2- Aries/Creole Guy - What Am I Doing In This Situation & What the hell was I thinking when I first met this 'person'.
3 - For some odd reason, some guys are all at once flocking to my profile and messaging me, after a good amount of months of no responses, but this time, I REALLY don't want any responses. How'd that happen? LOL.. I'm 'exhausted' y'all.... this single/dating/meeting online persons, deal is just such a ....... well yes, A JOB lol. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for hard work, and I'll give my 100% and even 150% but dammmmmmn.
4 - Experimenting with a sleep hypnosis cd that a lady in my aquatic exercise class burned for me(Her sis has fibro), and I tried it once and interestingly enough I don't remember when I fell asleep, but when I did wake up, it was cause my light was still on, and the cd player was still and stuff on my bed that leaves imprints on your skin ....yeah like books and hard stuff(can't believe I didn't feel that stuff while I slept on it)then I forgot to use the cd for days and whined about insomnia lol, forgetting, OH DUH, the hypnosis cd! HELLO? Caller are ya there? Nahhhh I don't think so ;-} SOoooooooo gonna try it as soon as I finish this post. Don't know if i'll be as successful tonight or should I say this morning .....grrrr...but it's worth a shot. (When I remember his name, I'll post it, in case for anyones fyi)
5 - Suppose to get help transportation wise to go to HUD(Section 8) owned properties apartments throughout the city to put my name on the waiting lists, or fill out application if something will be available soon. On the other side to that, my oldest sis who I have the most contact with told me she knows quite a few managers who have section 8(HUD)properties/apartments in northern california where she lives and if I was "serious" this time, she'd inquire on a regular basis for me. My mom & I are going up there second week of December to go around and look at the places that were eligible for(Nope, not moving in together, she's looking for her and my dad for low-income or senior housing, as they do not have a hud(section 8) voucher, but I do, so I will be looking at properties that accept it.
6 - My mixed but clear feelings about moving to a whole new city, where a lot of change will take place. I've never moved out of LA...so I'm trying to not think it to death, yet slowly maybe start a list of things to inquire about like: FM docs/Specialists that treat fm patients, physical therapy places, holistic and or alternative medicine places or practicioners that maybe be possible to see from what my sis said,lots of paper work getting together everything I've got here like my insurance, assistance for my fm that I get help from with ihss, something like access paratransit to assist me in getting around ..........until I get my license, etc. etc...and if i'll have to give up "oliver" my orange tabby(10 years old)but I can't think about that, I'll think about it when I'm forced to.
7- Constant weekly migraines that can't be explained. Been waiting to see doc about it cause he's been booked, and the other primary care doc I have has been out of town, and then booked up the wazoo too, and dentist is booked up for a few months and i have a slightly cracked tooth since um may i think( yeah, i know ;\~\ and my jaw locking up to the point where i can't open my mouth. Again, things I've not resolved, cause I was "THINKING" to death other stuff I had to do in my life. I'm a piece of work eh? ha!
8. - My weight just keeps shooting upward. I still can't get down 8 glasses of water a day. Friday I weighed in at nutritionist's office and almost cried when I looked at the scale........BUT I quickly changed my attitude about it, yup, i sure did. If I was able to lose 60lbs before this extreme plateau, I can keep going and trying again and again. TOday just stung a bit. Nutritionist is gonna have me fast for 3 days and just drink the shakes, and up the fiber-all just a tad in the morning, and is gonna check to see if I've gained more muscle than she's aware of that may or may not be a part of my weight gain? Who knows.
9. Wearing my 'bite' before bed every night like I was told last November, as I have not at all since, and not taken my two anthihistamines for my allergies..........Funny how you forget really important stuff, but take time on things that are much less important, meanwhile your body is going, "So your gonna just ignore me again huh? Well, I'll show you!" hehehe
10. Waiting to hear back from relative if they'll definitely help me pay for the driving lessons, just so I can brush up on them so I can finally get my license(Yeah I can drive, was suppose to get my license right before I got sick and life changed up on me). & studying my lil book for the written part.
11. Still in the dark about what I can do at "home" to earn more than just 20 bucks that isn't a gimmick. So far just finding gimmicks and too good to be true offers.
**Okay, I think I've typed QUITE enough, don't cha think? LOL..... oohhhhh god, help me turn the "think" switch off saturday and sunday.
I just need to go see "HAPPY FEET" or something LOL :D ;-)~ Or listen to lots and lots of MUSIC, and dance badly in my bedroom hehe
**An online friend of mine with fm that i've kept in touch with and yes still never met, since 99 has had some tests done to see if she has malignant tumors along her the sides of her throat and neck(both sides). Last week, a certain test showed a benign biopsy sample they took from her throat......yet today(well friday)upon seeing her again, she was told she has 4 tumors, not 3 as orginally thought.........sigh.....and though the test from last week showed a benign result, the other tumors could still with a 25% chance be canceris/malignant. A lot of women on her mom's side of the family have had cancer, and died from it. She's actually visiting an aunt this weekend in Vegas that could go any day now, though she was given 6 months. I'm doing my best not to be selfish about my feelings, but I really don't wanna lose someone I care about, again. My nephew was a shock a few years ago, and.......I haven't even met and just hugged her yet. She's got a bf and a cutie patootie lil boy whose like 4. Okay, just needed to vent that out of my body. (Taking a deep breathe)
My List of Things and Situations Going On
1 - Mountain Man(Shasta, CA) WTF? To overwhelming for me to think about anymore. He's exhausting and we've not even met in person yet.
2- Aries/Creole Guy - What Am I Doing In This Situation & What the hell was I thinking when I first met this 'person'.
3 - For some odd reason, some guys are all at once flocking to my profile and messaging me, after a good amount of months of no responses, but this time, I REALLY don't want any responses. How'd that happen? LOL.. I'm 'exhausted' y'all.... this single/dating/meeting online persons, deal is just such a ....... well yes, A JOB lol. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for hard work, and I'll give my 100% and even 150% but dammmmmmn.
4 - Experimenting with a sleep hypnosis cd that a lady in my aquatic exercise class burned for me(Her sis has fibro), and I tried it once and interestingly enough I don't remember when I fell asleep, but when I did wake up, it was cause my light was still on, and the cd player was still and stuff on my bed that leaves imprints on your skin ....yeah like books and hard stuff(can't believe I didn't feel that stuff while I slept on it)then I forgot to use the cd for days and whined about insomnia lol, forgetting, OH DUH, the hypnosis cd! HELLO? Caller are ya there? Nahhhh I don't think so ;-} SOoooooooo gonna try it as soon as I finish this post. Don't know if i'll be as successful tonight or should I say this morning .....grrrr...but it's worth a shot. (When I remember his name, I'll post it, in case for anyones fyi)
5 - Suppose to get help transportation wise to go to HUD(Section 8) owned properties apartments throughout the city to put my name on the waiting lists, or fill out application if something will be available soon. On the other side to that, my oldest sis who I have the most contact with told me she knows quite a few managers who have section 8(HUD)properties/apartments in northern california where she lives and if I was "serious" this time, she'd inquire on a regular basis for me. My mom & I are going up there second week of December to go around and look at the places that were eligible for(Nope, not moving in together, she's looking for her and my dad for low-income or senior housing, as they do not have a hud(section 8) voucher, but I do, so I will be looking at properties that accept it.
6 - My mixed but clear feelings about moving to a whole new city, where a lot of change will take place. I've never moved out of LA...so I'm trying to not think it to death, yet slowly maybe start a list of things to inquire about like: FM docs/Specialists that treat fm patients, physical therapy places, holistic and or alternative medicine places or practicioners that maybe be possible to see from what my sis said,lots of paper work getting together everything I've got here like my insurance, assistance for my fm that I get help from with ihss, something like access paratransit to assist me in getting around ..........until I get my license, etc. etc...and if i'll have to give up "oliver" my orange tabby(10 years old)but I can't think about that, I'll think about it when I'm forced to.
7- Constant weekly migraines that can't be explained. Been waiting to see doc about it cause he's been booked, and the other primary care doc I have has been out of town, and then booked up the wazoo too, and dentist is booked up for a few months and i have a slightly cracked tooth since um may i think( yeah, i know ;\~\ and my jaw locking up to the point where i can't open my mouth. Again, things I've not resolved, cause I was "THINKING" to death other stuff I had to do in my life. I'm a piece of work eh? ha!
8. - My weight just keeps shooting upward. I still can't get down 8 glasses of water a day. Friday I weighed in at nutritionist's office and almost cried when I looked at the scale........BUT I quickly changed my attitude about it, yup, i sure did. If I was able to lose 60lbs before this extreme plateau, I can keep going and trying again and again. TOday just stung a bit. Nutritionist is gonna have me fast for 3 days and just drink the shakes, and up the fiber-all just a tad in the morning, and is gonna check to see if I've gained more muscle than she's aware of that may or may not be a part of my weight gain? Who knows.
9. Wearing my 'bite' before bed every night like I was told last November, as I have not at all since, and not taken my two anthihistamines for my allergies..........Funny how you forget really important stuff, but take time on things that are much less important, meanwhile your body is going, "So your gonna just ignore me again huh? Well, I'll show you!" hehehe
10. Waiting to hear back from relative if they'll definitely help me pay for the driving lessons, just so I can brush up on them so I can finally get my license(Yeah I can drive, was suppose to get my license right before I got sick and life changed up on me). & studying my lil book for the written part.
11. Still in the dark about what I can do at "home" to earn more than just 20 bucks that isn't a gimmick. So far just finding gimmicks and too good to be true offers.
**Okay, I think I've typed QUITE enough, don't cha think? LOL..... oohhhhh god, help me turn the "think" switch off saturday and sunday.
I just need to go see "HAPPY FEET" or something LOL :D ;-)~ Or listen to lots and lots of MUSIC, and dance badly in my bedroom hehe