It's Been A While
Well let's see I think it's been a week or so since I have posted anything. It feels like a lot longer though! So much has gone on atleast it feels like it has. Breakdown follows!!!
School: I am so not motivated to be here right now...I just feel like my mind is in so many different place and different parts that I just don't know what to do. I mean just this week I skipped Biology twice and once last week! Granted you can get all the notes off the internet and they don't add anything to them and I have talked to some really cool kids in my class that I can borrow notes from but still....I must become focused! I am taking BSC 120, CHM 211/217, HST 101 and MUS 466. So I mean yeah full load but I should be able to handle this crap....maybe it's b/c I am at a real school now with different rules and no one cares what you do around here just as long as they get paid...way different from the good ole JC that I once knew :(
Colorguard: I don't really know what to say about this deal except that I think I get worse and worse as the weeks go by! i try I really do but I mean I think I am probably one of the worse ones on the team...and here lately it hasn't been fun....I mean we bust our buts to just yelled and cursed out at every practice b/c the side I am on looks like shit so we are told! All I can do is try and that's all I'm gonna do! I so wanted to quit but I can't b/c I don't like to do that and that's not how I wanna be known! So here I am in this place and that I can't handle and I am stuck here maybe b/c of pride but maybe b/c I wanna do well or maybe I have something to prove!
Football: Well we had our 1st game last nite against William and Mary and the HERD came though and won the game....from that I can tell it was a pretty intense game...I think I will pay more attention at the next one! Maybe not get so drunk! O well I guess!!! O well what a start to a season of difference!
Greg: We are in the same situation we have been in....where we don't talk about an "us" we just be (if that makes sense)! We stay together so freakn much but yet he still feels the need to try to find other girls which kills me but I can't say anything about it. I honestly think that if he thought I wasn't around he would see what he has in front of him but thats a stretch (I guess only in my head that would work)! I talked to Jay the other nite and he was like man you and Estelle are getting pretty hot and heavy aint ya? and I was like no he was like dude Erica you are over there almost every nite and he lets you stay the nite...thats not Greg....I was like well he told me a while back that he liked me but I just dont think he does and Jay was like o yeah he does trust me he just doesnt want a relationship...i dont see how he stayed with Lauren like he did. All he ever talked about was how much she got on his nerves and this and that. I was like he doesnt say that stuff about me does he? Jay was like come on Erica you should know better than that...you dont get on his nerves thats why he hangs with you so much! So yeah there ya go on that story but Jay and I have so many freakn convos about Greg...like last week he was like Erica I havent seen Greg get this close to a girl in a long time. You have really gotten under him and close...I was like whatever he was like no man I am serious about that! What should I make of all this???
Home front: Katrina hit some of my friends and family really bad...no one died but a lot lost everything they had...it has been so hard to be up here away from everyone that I love and all! My heart goes out to all the families that lost someone and to those that are still yet to be found!
Wrap Up: I said it once alreay in this entry but I will say it again! I am stuck in a place that I don't know where it is! I am spinning my wheels with mud stuck underneath! I can't stop until I finish but what do I have to prove? Do I have to prove something to you, to myself to my family? What if I can't prove it b/c I don't know what I am suppossed to prove?!?!?! Right now things are so warped in my head and well I can only hope that the mess breaks down and I will be able to crawl out and see what all this proving is about! I miss my friends and I miss my family and I miss the feeling of comfort that I haven't had in o so long! I just want something stable and I need something to keep me alive!
School: I am so not motivated to be here right now...I just feel like my mind is in so many different place and different parts that I just don't know what to do. I mean just this week I skipped Biology twice and once last week! Granted you can get all the notes off the internet and they don't add anything to them and I have talked to some really cool kids in my class that I can borrow notes from but still....I must become focused! I am taking BSC 120, CHM 211/217, HST 101 and MUS 466. So I mean yeah full load but I should be able to handle this crap....maybe it's b/c I am at a real school now with different rules and no one cares what you do around here just as long as they get paid...way different from the good ole JC that I once knew :(
Colorguard: I don't really know what to say about this deal except that I think I get worse and worse as the weeks go by! i try I really do but I mean I think I am probably one of the worse ones on the team...and here lately it hasn't been fun....I mean we bust our buts to just yelled and cursed out at every practice b/c the side I am on looks like shit so we are told! All I can do is try and that's all I'm gonna do! I so wanted to quit but I can't b/c I don't like to do that and that's not how I wanna be known! So here I am in this place and that I can't handle and I am stuck here maybe b/c of pride but maybe b/c I wanna do well or maybe I have something to prove!
Football: Well we had our 1st game last nite against William and Mary and the HERD came though and won the game....from that I can tell it was a pretty intense game...I think I will pay more attention at the next one! Maybe not get so drunk! O well I guess!!! O well what a start to a season of difference!
Greg: We are in the same situation we have been in....where we don't talk about an "us" we just be (if that makes sense)! We stay together so freakn much but yet he still feels the need to try to find other girls which kills me but I can't say anything about it. I honestly think that if he thought I wasn't around he would see what he has in front of him but thats a stretch (I guess only in my head that would work)! I talked to Jay the other nite and he was like man you and Estelle are getting pretty hot and heavy aint ya? and I was like no he was like dude Erica you are over there almost every nite and he lets you stay the nite...thats not Greg....I was like well he told me a while back that he liked me but I just dont think he does and Jay was like o yeah he does trust me he just doesnt want a relationship...i dont see how he stayed with Lauren like he did. All he ever talked about was how much she got on his nerves and this and that. I was like he doesnt say that stuff about me does he? Jay was like come on Erica you should know better than that...you dont get on his nerves thats why he hangs with you so much! So yeah there ya go on that story but Jay and I have so many freakn convos about Greg...like last week he was like Erica I havent seen Greg get this close to a girl in a long time. You have really gotten under him and close...I was like whatever he was like no man I am serious about that! What should I make of all this???
Home front: Katrina hit some of my friends and family really bad...no one died but a lot lost everything they had...it has been so hard to be up here away from everyone that I love and all! My heart goes out to all the families that lost someone and to those that are still yet to be found!
Wrap Up: I said it once alreay in this entry but I will say it again! I am stuck in a place that I don't know where it is! I am spinning my wheels with mud stuck underneath! I can't stop until I finish but what do I have to prove? Do I have to prove something to you, to myself to my family? What if I can't prove it b/c I don't know what I am suppossed to prove?!?!?! Right now things are so warped in my head and well I can only hope that the mess breaks down and I will be able to crawl out and see what all this proving is about! I miss my friends and I miss my family and I miss the feeling of comfort that I haven't had in o so long! I just want something stable and I need something to keep me alive!