05:Accidental Video: Calen Shielder: The shadows are creeping closer

[memoryishaunted]

*The feed comes to life with the sight of nothing more than a hand, groaning heard, then a whimper follows. At last after some random noises, much like an animal fighting for survival a very human gasp is heard accompanied by crashing as the NOC hits the ground from the user suddenly waking up and knocking it over.*Crap.....they are getting worse,

Comments

[.action.]

[memoryishaunted]

*He shifts under the scrutiny of those blue eyes, he had to tell someone he knew he did. If Kairi was going to live with him, she needed to know, what if he lost it again, he didn't want to hurt her. Finally he sighs as he looks up the ceiling.* Are the dreams bugging you too?

*He doesn't even notice that smile, his face is a mask of worry and concern as he worries his bottom lip for a moment.* Kairi, I'm not...normal.

*He had to say this, he had to, he knew it and yet that did not make it any easier. Finally he continues on in a slow tone, all he could hope was she wouldn't hate him when he was done*

I'm a genetic experiment, I was born in a lab back home. A mix of human D.N.A , panther D.N.A and skills, abilities and memories from different sources. They--they implanted memories from an assassin into my mind and I can, I can see and live all the things he did when I sleep, yet--they are getting worse, like there is something egging them on.

*He knew he should tell her about the loss of control he has suffered in the past, yet he couldn't bring himself to.*

[.action.]

[paopupyramid]

[Kairi wants to say something about the dreams - her own dreams - but there are no words she can immediately find to expression how she feels. Regardless, it seems more of a time to be apt to listen.

Experiment. Laboratory. Not totally human. Memories. Assassination. Past. Sleep. Dreams - nightmares-

She has to remember to breathe; somewhere along in his explanation, she had stopped. It all sounded too familiar. There were certainly differences, but in many things the details were the same.

Eyes partially unfocused and lingering off to the side, Kairi can only inhale and exhale in quiet rhythm for some time as she mulls over the information. Her expression, at first, is mostly that of one who is drifting into a semi-conscious state of drowsiness; gradually, her lips allow her to exhale in a soft sigh and a sympathetic (or, perhaps, empathetic) smile forms.]

I think I understand - for some of it, at least. [She cannot bring herself to make eye-contact yet, but at least the flow of her speech is steady once she takes a breath.]

It sounds really familiar to me. I was a test subject myself. There was a man who sent me off to another world as an experiment on the relationship between me and the hearts of people and the hearts of the worlds. I was a guinea pig for years as he tried to take over our worlds - and I had no idea until a few years ago. Then I found out that - well, there were a lot of things about myself I really didn't know. A little awkward, I guess. [There is a laugh at this, but it is ghostly and cut short.]

I remember all of it now, both the good and the bad. It's normal to be angry or to give up, or even be discouraged, because none of it is very easy; but, as long as I have my friends, I have strength. I can't quit; there are still things worth going on for, worth fighting for.

[At this, Kairi glances over to him.]

You have those things for yourself, too, right? Hope, friends, and future?

[.action.]

[memoryishaunted]

*Shock that was all he could feel, she hadn't become fightened of him after his admission. But more than that, she'd been a test subject too? Part of Calen was angry at that, he didn't want to think of someone who had been nothing but nice to him going through the things he knew scientists did. His face conveyed all these conflicting emotions, the anger, the sorrow, the understanding. Her final words brought that out, did he have hopes? He did for the twins, he knew that but for a moment he couldn't talk.

His emotions on top of the nightmare had become a heavy burden for one moment and he looked away, it was not negative response, only a means to hide the faint hint of moisture till he could pull himself in check.*

I'm, Kairi, I'm so sorry you never should have been put through things like that and then to end up here, it doesn't seem fair. If I could change it, I would but I don't know how.

*The act of speaking cleared his eyes and he turned back towards her with a faint smile. Hope, that word crossed his mind again as his eyes took on a thoughtful expression.*

For the twins, I do, I just hope they stay safe and can live a normal life a free life.

*And that he'd find them again, that he wouldn't have to be away from them forever, but that was a hope he'd keep to himself for now it cut too deeply.*

[.action.]

[paopupyramid]

[She partially wants to turn away and avoid the intensity of emotions playing on his face, so that she can be shielded from more of the multitude of grief and stress people experience; yet, Kairi feels she must at least attempt to understand, for there is something in her that refuses to allow her to merely turn a blind eye. Even since Riku had been consumed by darkness, her heart had insisted on acknowledging and revealing the truth; now, no matter the strangeness of another world, the urge to see still remained prevalent within her.

But that made it no easier. At last, despite her best intentions, her eyes drop and land on her hands, the pair of five fingers laced through their opposites. For this reason she is unable to see, and can only sense through the means of peripheral vision, that he has looked away as well.

At his words, she knows that she could not have met his eyes, not just yet, so it was just as well that she had averted her gaze already.]

There haven't been a lot of fair things, but that's alright. No matter how hard it is, we've always had each other. Even when things were at their hardest [when my heart was in stasis, she cannot help but think] I knew that they were always there for me. Even when we were far apart, we still had each other. I could always feel them.

[If only it was exactly the same now.

Now, it was hard to be sure.]

But I don't think I would change anything - as long as we don't have to do it all over again, you know? [An empty, quiet breath of a laugh.]

Keep your hope strong, though. Keep it close, and keep it shining bright, Calen. Sometimes, that's all we have; especially in the roughest times when it hurts the most.

[Never lose sight of your light...

Well, this is more personal than she thought it would be.]

Will you be able to go back to sleep alright?

[.action.]

[memoryishaunted]

*Her words were like a telling of his own feelings about the twins, that was what drove him mad in this place, it was what sent the nightmares after him so viciously. He couldn't feel them anymore, they weren't here, all sense of Calista and Calis had faded and his heart was shattered. Yes, he was making friends, Kairi was an example of this, but there was a part of him missing when he could not turn to see auburn and blond hair close together in sleep, just to reassure himself that they were well.

Yet, he had to face it and deal with it, he had to learn to survive now as himself, not to lose his humanity and while it was a struggle Calen was slowly finding his footing. If he didn't there was no way to return to them someday. It was as struggle within him, but when he saw the way she averted her gaze and her voice continued telling these small parts of a life that seemed to have so much like his. Different events, different worlds but the cruelty that touched and tinged, the darkness there at the edges of life were present in both and it hurt him. She smiled so easily, he wanted to believe this was out of true happiness, yet he could see his own sadness over missing the twins reflected in the way she spoke of these two.*

I know how that is, it's like that for us. I think-- even if we can't quite feel them, they are there, someone doesn't mean that much to you and fade so easily. It's just muted, because of this place, that feeling, it will come back..... *It has to, he can't live without it, it ripped at his very sanity when it was gone.*

*Her next words have him smiling with a soft chuckle and nod of his head.*

You sound like Calista now, but I promise I will as long as you do too, okay?

*He offered his hand to her to shake and seal the deal so to speak.*

Yeah, I think I can, thanks for talking to me, sorry I woke you up.

[.action.]

[paopupyramid]

[The words that she had spoken... they remind her too much of home and of the journey which Sora had underwent only a few short years ago. They were true and they were words he had spoken with strong confidence and assurance but, as solid as they might have fallen from her mouth, they rested unsteadily in her heart.

I have to keep my light shining bright. My friends... I have to keep them shining bright in my mind and heart. It's just hard when they're gone. How did Sora - and Riku - how did they both do it so long?

Kairi has to brace herself with a quiet smile and swallow down a thick lump in her throat before she can again speak.

Separation was still a difficult issue. Maybe some things never changed.

Just keep smiling...]

It sounds like Calista is someone very special, then.

[She accepts his handshake; her grip is firm, though tentative at first.]

I'll do my best. And talking isn't a problem. I was already awake anyways.

[She will soon try to lie back down, roll over, and fall asleep, but her chances of success may be more grim than she hopes.]