IN the world, NOT of it
Thank you to one of my best friends Michael for reminding me of that!
I am a stranger here... I don't understand this world... I get SO frustrated with sin (including my own). I don't understand why everyone feels it's necessary to just constantly talk CRAP about people behind their backs, except for the point of it SOMEHOW makes them feel better... how that makes them feel good is beyond me. I'm not saying I am completely innocent of it... but 95% of the time I go to the person and genuinely apologize because it is not right. ARGH!!!!!
These past few weeks have been so freaking rough... I'm not going to lie and act like everything is peachy keen.. because the truth is that life is NOT always great. BUTTTT I have a God who is. Through everything, all of this crap with people, I am just reminded more and more of how amazing God is. A person betrays me and God reminds me how He will NEVER EVER betray me... someone lies (A LOT) and God gently tells me that His words are TRUE and VALID and will forever remain! Etc. etc.
Sometimes (like tonight) I just think "am I ever just going to get a break from all of this..." But then I am reminded... growing up, everyone liked me. I'm not trying to sound cocky because now, in fact, I don't even see that as a good thing. The reason for that is because I was not hardcore living out of faith 100% for my God.... Just because you're a CHristian and living for God and living in love and faith does NOT mean that everyone loves you... Jesus was PERFECT and FLAWLESS and He was HATED!!!!! Spit on... put to death!!!!!! If I WASNT facing trials and having people talk crap abuot me and put me throguh crap THEN I would be doing something wrong! I should be so passionate that it offends people. Anyways, so now that I am living my life in complete faith for my God, satan uses people freaking everyday to try and tear me down and steal my song and my joy... well, it ain't working bucko. I TRUST MY GOD!! I trust that through the storms He is with me!!! I trust that He is holding my hand and guiding my steps!!! And in that I rest assured... I can face this crap... it may not always be easy, but He is ALWAYS there. I know my heart is true and my LOVE for God is true and so does He.. and there is NOTHING else that matters to me. I don't care if there are people on this earth who doubt it because it doesn't matter.. the world and everyhting in it will fade and I am IN it I'm NOT of it....
Last thing... so God reveiled to me throguh the process of about 2 weeks just how badly He needs me... I need Him so freaking much too. I really don't understand how people can live in this world without Him.. I could never do it. I struggle so much even with Him. But anyways, so I officially have ZERO (as of a week ago) desires to be in a relationship with a guy right now!! I just want MORE of Him!!! My desire to spend time with Him and fellowship with other Christians and go to church has grown so freaking much.. it's all I want to do!! And in that, I have literally had intimate nights with Him, just like you would on a date.. and I am SOOO freaking content with JUST HIM! He is ALL I need... All I want!!! Even if I never get married, I am so freaking content... it's such an amazing feeling. So, if I happen to start dating a guy anytime, don't go around saying I am a hypocrite. I'm not saying I am never dating again blah blah... what I am saying is that as of RIGHT NOW I don't need or want a relationship with a guy as more than a friend because I am SOOOO content and HAPPY with just Him... and if He wants me to start dating a guy, He is goingt o have to go behind me and push my back in that direction because I, Jessica Lynn Amendola, am DONE taking steps myself!! Done... YAY! GOD IS GOOD!!!!! I'm going to get going.. I think this is long enough... phew.... I need my God right now...... everyone have a great night! And please pray that I'll continue to just keep my eyes on my PRIZE (Jesus Christ) and just keep running towards Him and not look from side to side or be distracted by Earthly CRAP! Okay, thanks. What can I pray for you about?! Love you guys!
I am a stranger here... I don't understand this world... I get SO frustrated with sin (including my own). I don't understand why everyone feels it's necessary to just constantly talk CRAP about people behind their backs, except for the point of it SOMEHOW makes them feel better... how that makes them feel good is beyond me. I'm not saying I am completely innocent of it... but 95% of the time I go to the person and genuinely apologize because it is not right. ARGH!!!!!
These past few weeks have been so freaking rough... I'm not going to lie and act like everything is peachy keen.. because the truth is that life is NOT always great. BUTTTT I have a God who is. Through everything, all of this crap with people, I am just reminded more and more of how amazing God is. A person betrays me and God reminds me how He will NEVER EVER betray me... someone lies (A LOT) and God gently tells me that His words are TRUE and VALID and will forever remain! Etc. etc.
Sometimes (like tonight) I just think "am I ever just going to get a break from all of this..." But then I am reminded... growing up, everyone liked me. I'm not trying to sound cocky because now, in fact, I don't even see that as a good thing. The reason for that is because I was not hardcore living out of faith 100% for my God.... Just because you're a CHristian and living for God and living in love and faith does NOT mean that everyone loves you... Jesus was PERFECT and FLAWLESS and He was HATED!!!!! Spit on... put to death!!!!!! If I WASNT facing trials and having people talk crap abuot me and put me throguh crap THEN I would be doing something wrong! I should be so passionate that it offends people. Anyways, so now that I am living my life in complete faith for my God, satan uses people freaking everyday to try and tear me down and steal my song and my joy... well, it ain't working bucko. I TRUST MY GOD!! I trust that through the storms He is with me!!! I trust that He is holding my hand and guiding my steps!!! And in that I rest assured... I can face this crap... it may not always be easy, but He is ALWAYS there. I know my heart is true and my LOVE for God is true and so does He.. and there is NOTHING else that matters to me. I don't care if there are people on this earth who doubt it because it doesn't matter.. the world and everyhting in it will fade and I am IN it I'm NOT of it....
Last thing... so God reveiled to me throguh the process of about 2 weeks just how badly He needs me... I need Him so freaking much too. I really don't understand how people can live in this world without Him.. I could never do it. I struggle so much even with Him. But anyways, so I officially have ZERO (as of a week ago) desires to be in a relationship with a guy right now!! I just want MORE of Him!!! My desire to spend time with Him and fellowship with other Christians and go to church has grown so freaking much.. it's all I want to do!! And in that, I have literally had intimate nights with Him, just like you would on a date.. and I am SOOO freaking content with JUST HIM! He is ALL I need... All I want!!! Even if I never get married, I am so freaking content... it's such an amazing feeling. So, if I happen to start dating a guy anytime, don't go around saying I am a hypocrite. I'm not saying I am never dating again blah blah... what I am saying is that as of RIGHT NOW I don't need or want a relationship with a guy as more than a friend because I am SOOOO content and HAPPY with just Him... and if He wants me to start dating a guy, He is goingt o have to go behind me and push my back in that direction because I, Jessica Lynn Amendola, am DONE taking steps myself!! Done... YAY! GOD IS GOOD!!!!! I'm going to get going.. I think this is long enough... phew.... I need my God right now...... everyone have a great night! And please pray that I'll continue to just keep my eyes on my PRIZE (Jesus Christ) and just keep running towards Him and not look from side to side or be distracted by Earthly CRAP! Okay, thanks. What can I pray for you about?! Love you guys!