Why Delena and Stelena complete each other and why we should all live peacefully
This was meant for my tumblr but it's really long and I thought it'll be easier to read it on lj.
Why TVD is a perfect love-triangle, why Delena and Stelena complete each other and why we should all live peacefully
So last night I had quite a conversation with lexpressions (and I hope it’ll continue) who posted this on VB&G and it got me thinking on TVD generally and not only on why I ship Stelena (because y’all know I’m a Stelena shipper at heart).
I’ll try to organize my thoughts in big themes.
- WHY STEFAN, DAMON AND ELENA ARE A PERFECT TRIANGLE -
I never really liked love trianges because there is always one lover who appears to be best suited for the other. It’s rarely ever fair. But in TVD I found that perfect triangle that are Stefan, Elena and Damon. It’s pefect because there is actually a relationship between the two brothers that thus generates actual and heavy consequences to the choice the center piece (Elena) makes on a day-to-day basis.
From Elena’s side, it’s pretty self-explanatory why there is a triangle. She loves both brothers. And I’m using the verb “to love” in all the variety of meanings it covers. I love my BFF, I love my parents, I love my ex-boyfriend because he meant something to me at a certain point as well as I love this guy I passed by in the subway because he’s really hot and I totally picture me running and laughing with him in a flower fields. They’re all different ways to love somebody. What Elena identifies as “care” about Damon is a form of love. It is just different from the love she feels for Stefan, which is the perfect classic romance as Lexa put it in her post. With Stefan it’s flower bouquets and dinners out. With Damon, it’s ups and downs in trust and distrust. It’s risky and dangerous. Well, it’s sexy. (I’M NOT SAYING MY BB PAUL AIN’T SEXY OKAY??) Here is one of my main points: Elena/Stefan and Elena/Damon are DIFFERENT. The two relationships are opposing as well as completing each other. Like the two brothers (as you’ll see in #2). Also, Elena cannot not care for Damon because he’s her boyfriend’s brothers and she knows, for having a brother herself, that it is the kind of bond that cannot be broken or cut. She knows she can’t break them apart.
So that was for Elena’s side. For the brothers, it’ll be quicker. Provided they both love her (you pick the meaning you wanna see there), they also want to protect her for 2 reasons. The first being, of course, their love for her. The second reason lies in their brotherhood. Somehow she does not tear them apart as Katherine did but she brings them together. Damon cares for Elena’s safety because she’s the only reason Stefan lives for (right now). And despite everything he loves his brother (I do not have to prove it to you, do I? Okay, just think of 117 and on). Stefan on the other hand, lets Damon’s feelings grow risking to loose Elena because she’s what brings out Damon’s humanity.
See the triangle here? All their relationships are worth the same. I know it looks like Damon is disadvantaged but, eh, he killed her brother (but let’s be clear, I know, he was hurt, and I totally understand why his character did it, it just isn’t enough for Elena to forgive him as well as Stefan, though he still has feelings for Katherine, doesn’t trust her because of her heavy record of wrong-doings). But he’s been making up for it and she will, when she’s ready, forgive him.
- WHY STEFAN AND DAMON ARE AN ITEM AND WHY WE SHOULD STOP BASHING ON EACH OF THEM FOR DIFFERENT REASONS -
I want to insist on this point. None of the brothers is better than the other. That’s the beauty of the show, the characters are complex, they’re not only black or white. They’re all flawed, STEFAN AS WELL. That’s why I personally love him, it’s because he’s got his own dark side that he fights against everyday because he wants to be a knight in shining armour. But he isn’t. He came to terms with it at the beginning of season 2, as Paul wanted it to. Stefan has accepted this beast inside of him, yet he keeps clinging to his humanity even though he has to feel pain, remorse, guilt everyday for what he is and what he’s done. But he knows he can only pretend to be human.
Damon, on the contrary, looked like the character who embraced his condition and takes advantage of it. Well, we’ve come to see that if he did it was because he was deeply hurt and that being a vampire somehow allowed him to not deal with his pain and those feelings Stefan so wants to experience because they testify he’s party human. Damon fought this for over a century (when Stefan was living in secret) but Elena sparked something in him. Because she cared, because she caused Stefan to care again, Damon suddenly had to acknowledge his pain. Also, I think he compensated the fact that he’s been forced into his condition by his brother by taking the most of it, as a revenge. Whilst Stefan was fighting against his vampire side, Damon fought against his human side ; but the end of the story is that none of them succeeded and they both had to realize they would never be what they pretend to be (Damon a heartless vampire and Stefan a casual human being).
So right now, they’re meeting at their crossroad. They’re different sides of the same coin and they balance each other out. Stefan wants Damon to accept his humanity while Damon wants his brother to be stronger to face adversity. They are not ennemies. They were, at first, but come on, it’s been what, more than fifteen episodes they’re teaming up. THEY DO NOT EXCLUDE EACH OTHER OUT. They need each other to keep balance. At least that’s what I see.
I love both of them. So I’m saying it right here, TEAM BROS. (I know I looked team Stefan in the past, I mean, he’s my bb, but I never ever bashed on Damon because I love him so much too)
- WHY STELENA AND DELENA COMPLETE EACH OTHER AND WHY WE SHOULD ENJOY EACH -
So as a conclusion to all I’ve said before, I don’t think Stelena is better than Delena. I think I prefer Stelena as of right now but I’m open to Delena as long as it does not come out of the blue. The writers have been doing a great job building their relationship and the fact that it is not smooth is what makes them amazing. I mean, Delena is great partly because of Stelena. Let me explain: first of all, both couples are different and we enjoy what one gives somehow compared to the other. I know Stelena has been giving a lot more but time will come Delena will be together. They have to, otherwise the show will have no point. (I just don’t want my bb to be hurt but that’s really a personal reason of why I don’t want Delena to happen now, my bb needs someone to love him ya know).
But when Delena happen, I mean, can you imagine how crazy it’ll be? Their first kiss? Their first sex scene? *coughs* It’ll be amazing because they will have overcomed a thousand of obstacles to be together the biggest of all being Stelena. I am not saying Stelena is bad, don’t get me wrong, and again, I LOVE STELENA. But without Stelena, what are Delena? Delena will be bigger than true love (impersonated by Stelena). It’ll be mindblowing. It’ll be an epic story of love, trust, distrust, manipulation, lust, anger.
So please, let’s just stop hating each other. Let’s just enjoy this amazing show we have that allows us to discuss so extensively the psychologies of its wonderfully complex characters.