I dreamed I had a name...

[_fredless]

Who:Winifred Burkle and YOU
What: Her Headspace
When: Anytime After Friday Evening
Where: Fred's Room (She won't be leaving it)
Rating: TBD (Darker themes present including slavery and torture)

Comments

[breakmychest]

Spike had to get out of his room. It was weird and unsettling in a very disturbing way, and he couldn't deal with it. Also, he'd been on a loss for a little while, and he needed to check in with friends. Both of these meant going to find Fred.

He didn't expect that her room would be even worse than his.

"Fred?" He approached the woman cautiously, looking worried. He didn't know much about her time in Pylea, except that it had been bad, but this... this had to be from that. And he needed to get her out of here.

[_fredless]

There's so many things to say...

She'd forgotten, really. Just how many things there are to say. Here fingers are raw with them. At the name she hesitates. There's meaning behind it. A sense of weight. Whoever they are, that person has place.

Her gaze flickers to the pool, the images that occasionally reflect up through it.

"I had a dream, once. I had a name too."

[breakmychest]

He's close enough to touch her now, and so he does, hesitantly putting a hand on her shoulder.

"You've still got a name. You're Fred. And this..." he waves a hand around. "This isn't real. You're in the castle. It's doing things, my room was..." he trails off, glancing around the walls. There's a lot written on them. Too much for him to read in one go, but what he sees is enough. "Fred..." His hand tightens on her shoulder. "Did this... did this happen to you?"

[_fredless]

She pulls away, hesitance marking every but of air put between them. As if she waiting for the inevitable punishment to follow. She looks confused when it doesn't come, eyes drifting back to the stories scribbled on stone.

"...it happened to her."

[breakmychest]

"Her?" He follows her, but he doesn't touch her again. Instead his eyes drag over the walls again, trying to take in more. "Pet, come on. The door's right back there, you need to leave."

[_fredless]

The question that comes follows a single breath, released on a sigh.

"How do you leave something that's always there? Always, always there?"

She's had more than one conversation with herself on the topic, but never once got an answer.

[breakmychest]

"Right, this is supposed to be your head or something?" Buffy had filled him in. He hadn't expected Fred's to be so bad. He stares around again, then walks over to her, determination in his expression.

"With help. With friends. We can help you, Fred. We're not going to bloody let you down."

[_fredless]

His words confuse her in a way she doesn't bother to mask, not as she looks up -- actually initiating contact. At least in that small way.

"...does it really matter where it is? It's still...it never goes away. If it's never gone, I don't think it much matters where you put it. Do you?"

[breakmychest]

Spike shakes his head, looking slightly grumpy. "Course it sodding matters. Might not be gone, but it can be... I don't know. Overshadows or something." He meets her eyes again, trying for a reassuring smile. "We'll find a way to make it better, all right?"

[_fredless]

She looks from his smile, then back to the walls. The curve of his mouth is rough, like the texture of the cave. Somehow, she knows that he's trying.

"You weren't supposed to see. Nobody was. I think...that's the point. If there's points, I mean. Are we still having those?"

[breakmychest]

"Probably, somewhere or another." He can see why she wouldn't want him to see, anyway. It's not a pleasant place. "I've seen now, whether you wanted me to or not. I can't just forget it."

[_fredless]

She reached up one hand towards the wave wall, hand splaying and stretching as far as she can. It looks impossible small. She adds her other hand, but it doesn't even seem like twice as much -- much less all of it. She's trying to protect him from seeing.

"...I'm sorry."

[breakmychest]

"No." He gently reached for her hands, pulling them down. "Don't be. It's all right."

[_fredless]

She tenses slightly, at the touch. She can't not.

She's so terribly, terribly out of practice.