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[imnot_likeyou]

Who: Sam Winchester and YOU
What: Sam’s headspace
When: Anytime during the headspace plot.
Where: Room 301
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Prose or actionspam, doesn’t matter to me. Establish the day in the subject line if you want, otherwise we’ll just leave it ambiguous.

Comments

[autophoenix]

Claire glanced over toward the first door, forehead creasing with concern at the frankness of his comment. Sam's bluntness was something she was starting to realize was pretty telling to how damaged he was, and she couldn't help but feel like behind those doors was probably the real view of what that damage looked like. Imagining it was kind of, well, frightening.

She'd spent plenty of time imagining killing Sylar in different ways -- planning it. Craving it. Probably beyond the point it was healthy, but that was the kind of darkness that she reeled in and hid deep within herself. She didn't casually tell her friends about that twisted violence in her heart, and the fact that Sam so easily could … it seemed more like another wall to put up than an actual admission designed to let people in.

"Really glad," she confirmed, giving an exaggerated cringe. "I guess I lucked out. My room doesn't look all that different. I mean, it's kinda kid-ish, but …" She shrugged. And then there was the hugely unsettling aspect of the way everything went right back to where it had been when she tried to move it. And the closet that seemed to have darkness seeping out the corners of it, ready to burst free. Again, better not to mention that.

"Has anybody crashed it yet?"

[imnot_likeyou]

Sam's damage was pretty evenly spread out, to be honest. The only place that was actually safe from that whole mess was the room with the Impala, and that wasn't the one that Claire had found. But yeah -- there was no way around Sam being damaged. Their life didn't let them out otherwise.

"I wish my head was that simple," he sighed. "Protecting yourself from everyone else all the time is ... exhausting." Always being worried about who was in your head, what they were doing, what was coming next -- it's not the easiest way to live. Paranoia about whether or not your thoughts are your own only makes things harder.

[autophoenix]

"Then, why do it?" The words came out before she meant them to, but she didn't take them back. Her brow slowly furrowed in confusion. She didn't mean to come for the sake of psychoanalyzing him, but if that happened to be where it went … "Holding all of this inside, keeping what you've been through to yourself … it's too much for one person to take. Maybe 'protecting yourself' from other people is really only hurting you."

And maybe that was exactly what the castle was getting at with this. Which made her a hypocrite -- she couldn't pretend she wasn't, but she could at least try to help Sam. Even if she was too stubborn and isolated to help herself.

[imnot_likeyou]

He sighed, before shaking his head. "Because if I don't, people only use it against me. I mean, I've been possessed before. If you don't find ways it keep what you don't want them to know away from them, they'll ... destroy you with your own two hands."

He never wanted to be this closed off away from everyone. Circumstances made him this way, and there wasn't anything he could do about it. Not then, and not now. Letting down his guard only leads to trouble.