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Who: Sam Winchester and Jo Harvelle
What: Jo breaks up with Sam
When: Evening, Tuesday, April 6
Where: Outside the castle, and Jo's apartment.
Rating: PG-13
Sam: [wanders over to the Lux to see Jo, sliding onto a seat at the bar and glancing around to see if she's around. it hasn't been long enough to make it seem like she's avoiding him yet -- at least in his mind.]
Jo: [comes out of the back, with her jacket in hand planning on heading home. She almost doesn't see him, but he is kinda huge. She'll walk over toward the booth and stand there] Hey. I just got off shift.
Sam: [looks up at her with a smile] Hey. Heading back to the gallery?
Jo: [makes a face] I was there this morning and as much as I want it done, I think I'm just going to head back to my apartment and sleep. [shrugs]
Sam: [nods] Can I walk you back?
Jo: [nods] Sure.
Sam: Great. [pushes up to his feet and falls into step next to her]
Jo: [and she'll head out, Sam in tow] Alice alright?
Sam: [nods] I spent a lot of time with her over the past couple days, so she's happy.
Jo: That's good. Dean was out for a few days while you were gone. He got into a fight... [makes a face]
Sam: [rolls his eyes] Like that's anything new.
Jo: I don't know, he's only been here for a few months. [shrugs] He's kinda... [she wants to say a dick, but it's Sam's brother] a bit uneven, still.
Sam: [nods] The castle does take some getting used to.
Jo: Yeah. [steps outside and puts on her jacket] I just don't think getting into a fight is going to get him any favors.
Sam: No, it's probably not.
Jo: [exhales] He's not big on advice, so I've been... just leaving him be.
Sam: [sighs] It's probably the best idea. I'll ... I'll try and talk to him.
Jo: [pops a shoulder] Don't do anything on my account. He's already called me 'mom' one time too many for my liking.
Sam: I ... don't know why he does the things he does sometimes.
Jo: It could have a bit to do with things goin' on back home for the both of you.
Sam: [is quiet for a minute as his hands slide in his pockets] I know.
Jo: [nods again] So, if you're gonna talk to him, it'll probably have to be about that.
Sam: Like that'll happen.
Jo: [gives him a look]
Sam: [gives her one right back] I've been trying to get Dean to talk about things for as long as I've known him. He doesn't.
Jo: Really? 'Cause you don't do much talking when I ask you things.
Sam: [turns and his eyes narrow] What's that supposed to mean?
Jo: [if she was anywhere else or if her loss was anything different she'd have shrugged it off] It means exactly what I said? I don't think I was being cryptic. [winces, but doesn't take it back] It's not like we actually talk about things, because you don't like talking about things.
Sam: [his jaw sets a bit, before turning his eyes back to the path in front of them again] There's not really a lot to talk about.
Jo: [bites her tongue and just keeps walking]
Sam: [isn't really sure what to say. he doesn't want to talk about Hell. He doesn't want to talk about when he died. He doesn't even want to talk about being a damn dog. He doesn't want to worry about it. But apparently that's too much to ask]
Jo: [she's had a month to think about just how screwed up everything is and maybe she's asking too much but she hasn't asked anything for so long, she figures she might be owed a bit of what's going on in his head. Apparently, not.]
Sam: [his head isn't a fun place. and he's trying to be better, to not be what he was. He feels the anger eating him inside every day and he doesn't want to be angry here. He doesn't want that to be all that he is]
Jo: [she'll just keep walking, in this horrible silence]
Sam: [is going to be quiet for a moment before] I can't talk about this, Jo. I can't. Most of the time, I want to forget it ever happened.
Jo: [she stops walking] I can understand that, but do you think that I wanted to talk about -- [exhales, shaking her head, trying to not think about it, to not let her loss just blurt it all out there] It's a nice double standard, I guess. [okay. that was so not going to help]
Sam: [stops and turns to face her] It's not exactly the same thing. Which I'm sorry, I'm not saying what you went through wasn't terrible, but I had Lucifer in my body, using my body for things, and then I jumped into Hell. It wasn't exactly easy.
Jo: [shakes her head, glancing around, realizing they're still outside] No it's not the same thing, but I never thought it was. You still wanted me to talk about it though. I still had to deal with it. You just... let it build up. You distract yourself.
Sam: [breathes deeply for a moment as he tries to counter that. He's ... got nothing] Me dealing with things never really ends well.
Jo: [sighs, rubbing her forehead with the tips of her fingers] Let's just go inside. I'm not exactly up for a public Jerry Springer thing.
Sam: [sighs and nods, moving to follow her lead]
Jo: [heads up to the apartment, unlocking it and tossing the keys onto the counter as she takes her jacket off] You want anything?
Sam: [shakes his head] I'm good.
Jo: Sure ya' are. [makes a sour face] I didn't mean to say that.
Sam: [now is just getting aggravated] Of course you didn't.
Jo: [frowns] Look I'm not looking for a fight, but you weren't around for a month. Before that you were gone for two weeks and it wasn't like you were just on four legs. You died. I had a bit of a problem with the way this damn castle just expects everyone to be okay with how things work. You were gone and I had to deal with it and once more you're back and I'm trying to deal with it.
Sam: Okay. That's fine. I didn't expect you to just bounce back like it was nothing. I know how hard it is to die and come back. But I don't know what this has to do with how I do or don't deal with things.
Jo: [exhales and glances to him] Do you know how much we talk about me and how I'm feeling and how you want to help me sort through things? How important you make it feel for me to work through things? [shrugs] So I do. I talk to a therapist, Sam. I have friends, I talk to you. [glances back to him] Still, I try to help you and it seems the only thing I can help you do is not talk about things.
Sam: [because he's been bottling things for so long he doesn't know how to put it into words anymore] I can't, Jo. I'm sorry.
Jo: I'm sorry too, 'cause I didn't mean for that to all hit you... I just, I've had a month of thinking to do.
Sam: Right. [he doesn't know what to do. he feels a little helpless because it seems like she's made up her mind about something and he isn't sure if he should change it]
Jo: [exhales... she wants a drink, but she knows if she has a single beer, with him around that she'll feel it a lot more than she should]
Sam: [is quiet again for a long time before] So. What does this mean?
Jo: [frowns] What do you mean, what does this mean? [because, she's actually not sure what to do with all of her thinking now that he's not a dog anymore] I don't know what to do here. For all the thinking and all the ways I know that things are screwed up, I'm not exactly sure how to make them not screwed up. [her hand runs through her hair, settling at the back of her head before she glances to him] I know that I'm not helping. Not really.
Sam: I think you do.
Jo: [shakes her head] I think I distract you.
Sam: Maybe that's what I need.
Jo: [there's a bit of a laugh here, because the way she was implying the distraction wasn't exactly something you need a relationship for]
Sam: [does not appreciate the laughter right now, and it shows] Maybe I need not to think about it. [because if he thinks about it, he'll lose it, and he desperately doesn't want to lose it]
Jo: [it wasn't laughter... it was a bit of a laugh, because she was sort of shocked to hear that, but she tries to make a more serious attempt, but she's still sort of stunned] Maybe I'm new to all. Hell, I've never had a relationship last more than a week or two and this has gone on for almost half a year. This is supposed to be a relationship, but that's not what it feels like. It feels like I'm just something you need right now so that you don't have to think about the things you've done. You deal with my shit, you try and fix me because it's easier for you. It's just not easy for me.
Sam: [is quiet again for a moment before asking, quietly] So what do you need me to do?
Jo: [frowns, unsure - and also sort of wondering why he phrased it like that. It's not what he wants it's what she needs... which isn't the point and yet all at the same time is. Her hand lifts up, pressing her fingers to her forehead for a moment, before once more her touch threads into her hair and back before it settles at her side] I need you to not wonder what I need from you. I haven't had you for a month and I did just fine. I missed you, but... [exhales] Sam, you need to not put me ahead of everything else. I can't have you helping me anymore. You have your own things that you need to deal with and you can't do that if you're so focused on me and what I need from you.
Sam: [and that hurts. probably more than it should. he's not sure if it's because she's saying she doesn't need him anymore, or because she's implying that he's hurting more than he's helping, or maybe he just is reading too much into all of this, but regardless, as much as he wants to argue the point, he can't]
Jo: [it hurts her too, and tomorrow is her birthday which is something only a handful of people know and probably hardly any of them will remember, but she knows that as hard as it is to say, that she needed to say it] You spend all your time worried about me. About how I'm feeling or if I'm okay, and when I worry about you - you tell me not to worry. You spend so much time trying to make people not worry about you that you haven't figured out how to just fix those things that make us worry. [moves over toward him and brushes her hand over his] 'Cause I'm worried about you. I'm worried about what you're not saying. What you keep from me and from everyone else and I know that you'd rather just pretend there's no reason to worry.
Sam: [eyes drop down to her hand on his, and his fingers curl around hers] I don't want you to worry.
Jo: [shakes her head] Too late.
Sam: [his eyes stay down on her hand, before squeezing her hand] I know.
Jo: [gives his hand another squeeze and then slips her hand free] Things aren't easy, but I don't think they're meant to be easy. Especially in a place that tries so damn hard to do just that. Sam, I don't think I should distract you anymore.
Sam: [looks up, and he's a little confused, because he's really hoping she isn't saying what she thinks he's saying]
Jo: [it's not like she knows what to do in these sort of situations, but she also doesn't think that just ignoring it really works for anything]
Sam: [it takes him a minute, but when she doesn't say anything] So ... that's it?
Jo: [frowns] I just think that... if I don't step back now, it'll just be harder if things get worse.
Sam: [nods once, eyes away ... this really sucked] Right. Harder.
Jo: [exhales] We don't have anywhere to go, Sam. We can't just leave town and meet up in a few months.
Sam: No, I get it. If that's what you want.
Jo: [takes a moment, her brow knitting up briefly] This isn't what I want, Sam. It's just something that I can't ignore anymore.
Sam: And I can't fix it the way you think I should. So that's it.
Jo: [lets out a dismissive exhale] Great. So first it's what I need and what I want and now that I actually point out that there's something wrong -- it's my fault that I want too much.
Sam: So you think I should be taking this well?
Jo: [shakes her head] I don't know how you should take this. I don't know how you take anything. Which is the problem.
Sam: [exhales, hard, but he doesn't know what to say. he doesn't know what to do. it doesn't help that he doesn't have a lot of experience in being dumped and all he wants to do is lash out]
Jo: [lashing out might be something. it'd be anything. but she knows that he's trying to protect her from that... her hand goes to reach for his again, giving it a squeeze] Sam... you should probably go.
Sam: [pulls his hand back ... not roughly, but he's not exactly gentle about it either] Yeah. I should.
Jo: [folds her arms over her chest, taking a step back] I'm not going anywhere. If you want to talk or just have a beer... I might get drunk, but I don't want you to worry about the whole 'Can't leave town' aspect of this place.
Sam: [shrugs as he turns because he's really starting to need out] Okay. Whatever.
Jo: [she'll just... stand there, watching him leave because she knows if she says anything she'll probably think about changing her mind and she can't do that]
Sam: [and leaves. he's ... probably going to go get drunk. he's in that kind of mood]
Jo: [and she'll go sit on her couch and curl up against the arm of it... exhaling a soft laugh because in a few minutes it'll be her birthday... and it's going to suck.]
What: Jo breaks up with Sam
When: Evening, Tuesday, April 6
Where: Outside the castle, and Jo's apartment.
Rating: PG-13
Sam: [wanders over to the Lux to see Jo, sliding onto a seat at the bar and glancing around to see if she's around. it hasn't been long enough to make it seem like she's avoiding him yet -- at least in his mind.]
Jo: [comes out of the back, with her jacket in hand planning on heading home. She almost doesn't see him, but he is kinda huge. She'll walk over toward the booth and stand there] Hey. I just got off shift.
Sam: [looks up at her with a smile] Hey. Heading back to the gallery?
Jo: [makes a face] I was there this morning and as much as I want it done, I think I'm just going to head back to my apartment and sleep. [shrugs]
Sam: [nods] Can I walk you back?
Jo: [nods] Sure.
Sam: Great. [pushes up to his feet and falls into step next to her]
Jo: [and she'll head out, Sam in tow] Alice alright?
Sam: [nods] I spent a lot of time with her over the past couple days, so she's happy.
Jo: That's good. Dean was out for a few days while you were gone. He got into a fight... [makes a face]
Sam: [rolls his eyes] Like that's anything new.
Jo: I don't know, he's only been here for a few months. [shrugs] He's kinda... [she wants to say a dick, but it's Sam's brother] a bit uneven, still.
Sam: [nods] The castle does take some getting used to.
Jo: Yeah. [steps outside and puts on her jacket] I just don't think getting into a fight is going to get him any favors.
Sam: No, it's probably not.
Jo: [exhales] He's not big on advice, so I've been... just leaving him be.
Sam: [sighs] It's probably the best idea. I'll ... I'll try and talk to him.
Jo: [pops a shoulder] Don't do anything on my account. He's already called me 'mom' one time too many for my liking.
Sam: I ... don't know why he does the things he does sometimes.
Jo: It could have a bit to do with things goin' on back home for the both of you.
Sam: [is quiet for a minute as his hands slide in his pockets] I know.
Jo: [nods again] So, if you're gonna talk to him, it'll probably have to be about that.
Sam: Like that'll happen.
Jo: [gives him a look]
Sam: [gives her one right back] I've been trying to get Dean to talk about things for as long as I've known him. He doesn't.
Jo: Really? 'Cause you don't do much talking when I ask you things.
Sam: [turns and his eyes narrow] What's that supposed to mean?
Jo: [if she was anywhere else or if her loss was anything different she'd have shrugged it off] It means exactly what I said? I don't think I was being cryptic. [winces, but doesn't take it back] It's not like we actually talk about things, because you don't like talking about things.
Sam: [his jaw sets a bit, before turning his eyes back to the path in front of them again] There's not really a lot to talk about.
Jo: [bites her tongue and just keeps walking]
Sam: [isn't really sure what to say. he doesn't want to talk about Hell. He doesn't want to talk about when he died. He doesn't even want to talk about being a damn dog. He doesn't want to worry about it. But apparently that's too much to ask]
Jo: [she's had a month to think about just how screwed up everything is and maybe she's asking too much but she hasn't asked anything for so long, she figures she might be owed a bit of what's going on in his head. Apparently, not.]
Sam: [his head isn't a fun place. and he's trying to be better, to not be what he was. He feels the anger eating him inside every day and he doesn't want to be angry here. He doesn't want that to be all that he is]
Jo: [she'll just keep walking, in this horrible silence]
Sam: [is going to be quiet for a moment before] I can't talk about this, Jo. I can't. Most of the time, I want to forget it ever happened.
Jo: [she stops walking] I can understand that, but do you think that I wanted to talk about -- [exhales, shaking her head, trying to not think about it, to not let her loss just blurt it all out there] It's a nice double standard, I guess. [okay. that was so not going to help]
Sam: [stops and turns to face her] It's not exactly the same thing. Which I'm sorry, I'm not saying what you went through wasn't terrible, but I had Lucifer in my body, using my body for things, and then I jumped into Hell. It wasn't exactly easy.
Jo: [shakes her head, glancing around, realizing they're still outside] No it's not the same thing, but I never thought it was. You still wanted me to talk about it though. I still had to deal with it. You just... let it build up. You distract yourself.
Sam: [breathes deeply for a moment as he tries to counter that. He's ... got nothing] Me dealing with things never really ends well.
Jo: [sighs, rubbing her forehead with the tips of her fingers] Let's just go inside. I'm not exactly up for a public Jerry Springer thing.
Sam: [sighs and nods, moving to follow her lead]
Jo: [heads up to the apartment, unlocking it and tossing the keys onto the counter as she takes her jacket off] You want anything?
Sam: [shakes his head] I'm good.
Jo: Sure ya' are. [makes a sour face] I didn't mean to say that.
Sam: [now is just getting aggravated] Of course you didn't.
Jo: [frowns] Look I'm not looking for a fight, but you weren't around for a month. Before that you were gone for two weeks and it wasn't like you were just on four legs. You died. I had a bit of a problem with the way this damn castle just expects everyone to be okay with how things work. You were gone and I had to deal with it and once more you're back and I'm trying to deal with it.
Sam: Okay. That's fine. I didn't expect you to just bounce back like it was nothing. I know how hard it is to die and come back. But I don't know what this has to do with how I do or don't deal with things.
Jo: [exhales and glances to him] Do you know how much we talk about me and how I'm feeling and how you want to help me sort through things? How important you make it feel for me to work through things? [shrugs] So I do. I talk to a therapist, Sam. I have friends, I talk to you. [glances back to him] Still, I try to help you and it seems the only thing I can help you do is not talk about things.
Sam: [because he's been bottling things for so long he doesn't know how to put it into words anymore] I can't, Jo. I'm sorry.
Jo: I'm sorry too, 'cause I didn't mean for that to all hit you... I just, I've had a month of thinking to do.
Sam: Right. [he doesn't know what to do. he feels a little helpless because it seems like she's made up her mind about something and he isn't sure if he should change it]
Jo: [exhales... she wants a drink, but she knows if she has a single beer, with him around that she'll feel it a lot more than she should]
Sam: [is quiet again for a long time before] So. What does this mean?
Jo: [frowns] What do you mean, what does this mean? [because, she's actually not sure what to do with all of her thinking now that he's not a dog anymore] I don't know what to do here. For all the thinking and all the ways I know that things are screwed up, I'm not exactly sure how to make them not screwed up. [her hand runs through her hair, settling at the back of her head before she glances to him] I know that I'm not helping. Not really.
Sam: I think you do.
Jo: [shakes her head] I think I distract you.
Sam: Maybe that's what I need.
Jo: [there's a bit of a laugh here, because the way she was implying the distraction wasn't exactly something you need a relationship for]
Sam: [does not appreciate the laughter right now, and it shows] Maybe I need not to think about it. [because if he thinks about it, he'll lose it, and he desperately doesn't want to lose it]
Jo: [it wasn't laughter... it was a bit of a laugh, because she was sort of shocked to hear that, but she tries to make a more serious attempt, but she's still sort of stunned] Maybe I'm new to all. Hell, I've never had a relationship last more than a week or two and this has gone on for almost half a year. This is supposed to be a relationship, but that's not what it feels like. It feels like I'm just something you need right now so that you don't have to think about the things you've done. You deal with my shit, you try and fix me because it's easier for you. It's just not easy for me.
Sam: [is quiet again for a moment before asking, quietly] So what do you need me to do?
Jo: [frowns, unsure - and also sort of wondering why he phrased it like that. It's not what he wants it's what she needs... which isn't the point and yet all at the same time is. Her hand lifts up, pressing her fingers to her forehead for a moment, before once more her touch threads into her hair and back before it settles at her side] I need you to not wonder what I need from you. I haven't had you for a month and I did just fine. I missed you, but... [exhales] Sam, you need to not put me ahead of everything else. I can't have you helping me anymore. You have your own things that you need to deal with and you can't do that if you're so focused on me and what I need from you.
Sam: [and that hurts. probably more than it should. he's not sure if it's because she's saying she doesn't need him anymore, or because she's implying that he's hurting more than he's helping, or maybe he just is reading too much into all of this, but regardless, as much as he wants to argue the point, he can't]
Jo: [it hurts her too, and tomorrow is her birthday which is something only a handful of people know and probably hardly any of them will remember, but she knows that as hard as it is to say, that she needed to say it] You spend all your time worried about me. About how I'm feeling or if I'm okay, and when I worry about you - you tell me not to worry. You spend so much time trying to make people not worry about you that you haven't figured out how to just fix those things that make us worry. [moves over toward him and brushes her hand over his] 'Cause I'm worried about you. I'm worried about what you're not saying. What you keep from me and from everyone else and I know that you'd rather just pretend there's no reason to worry.
Sam: [eyes drop down to her hand on his, and his fingers curl around hers] I don't want you to worry.
Jo: [shakes her head] Too late.
Sam: [his eyes stay down on her hand, before squeezing her hand] I know.
Jo: [gives his hand another squeeze and then slips her hand free] Things aren't easy, but I don't think they're meant to be easy. Especially in a place that tries so damn hard to do just that. Sam, I don't think I should distract you anymore.
Sam: [looks up, and he's a little confused, because he's really hoping she isn't saying what she thinks he's saying]
Jo: [it's not like she knows what to do in these sort of situations, but she also doesn't think that just ignoring it really works for anything]
Sam: [it takes him a minute, but when she doesn't say anything] So ... that's it?
Jo: [frowns] I just think that... if I don't step back now, it'll just be harder if things get worse.
Sam: [nods once, eyes away ... this really sucked] Right. Harder.
Jo: [exhales] We don't have anywhere to go, Sam. We can't just leave town and meet up in a few months.
Sam: No, I get it. If that's what you want.
Jo: [takes a moment, her brow knitting up briefly] This isn't what I want, Sam. It's just something that I can't ignore anymore.
Sam: And I can't fix it the way you think I should. So that's it.
Jo: [lets out a dismissive exhale] Great. So first it's what I need and what I want and now that I actually point out that there's something wrong -- it's my fault that I want too much.
Sam: So you think I should be taking this well?
Jo: [shakes her head] I don't know how you should take this. I don't know how you take anything. Which is the problem.
Sam: [exhales, hard, but he doesn't know what to say. he doesn't know what to do. it doesn't help that he doesn't have a lot of experience in being dumped and all he wants to do is lash out]
Jo: [lashing out might be something. it'd be anything. but she knows that he's trying to protect her from that... her hand goes to reach for his again, giving it a squeeze] Sam... you should probably go.
Sam: [pulls his hand back ... not roughly, but he's not exactly gentle about it either] Yeah. I should.
Jo: [folds her arms over her chest, taking a step back] I'm not going anywhere. If you want to talk or just have a beer... I might get drunk, but I don't want you to worry about the whole 'Can't leave town' aspect of this place.
Sam: [shrugs as he turns because he's really starting to need out] Okay. Whatever.
Jo: [she'll just... stand there, watching him leave because she knows if she says anything she'll probably think about changing her mind and she can't do that]
Sam: [and leaves. he's ... probably going to go get drunk. he's in that kind of mood]
Jo: [and she'll go sit on her couch and curl up against the arm of it... exhaling a soft laugh because in a few minutes it'll be her birthday... and it's going to suck.]