the apology

[silverstung]

Who: Kairi (loving_light) & Riku (silverstung)
What: An agreed-upon meeting after this fiasco.
When: Now? Before the day's end.
Where: Kairi's room; 215.
Rating: PG-13 just in case Riku's picked up a bit of a mouth.

Comments

[silverstung]

There was something... something so incredibly... he couldn't even put his finger on it, could barely swallow his apprehension as he followed Kairi inside and shut the door behind him. He kept his eyes hidden, knowing full well he was a huge fuckup and that he didn't want Kairi to read his thoughts like the rest of the women around here.

Silence lounged between them, in which Riku tried to answer her question, then forgot what he was going to say.

"Look, I..." He swallowed, tried to process his apology a few more times before saying it. "I don't know where you fit into my life, but..." The soft thump of the door as he leaned against it. "But if you do still consider me your friend after all of that, I want to know everything you do." He paused again. "I want to know how we met, and when, and where. I want to know if Sora means as much to you as he does to me. And I want to know-- if you could ever forgive me, for what I've done and-- what I've done that I can't remember."

His back shifted against the door as he turned a little more away. He'd done so many horrible things in his remaining memory. And now...?

[loving_light]

"You're so nervous..." Kairi started very quietly, a slight smile coming to her face as she looked up at him, though she still looked so sad. "Riku..." She sighed, standing up and stepping up to him. She hesitantly reached for his hand and took it, pulling it toward her and wrapper both of her hands around it gently. She kept her eyes fixed on their hands as she spoke. "I would never-- no... I couldn't ever hate you... I'll always consider you my friend, no matter what you do. Ever since we were little, you've... been there for me. You and Sora both. You... always protected me. I'm always going to do the same for you, because I can never repay the two of you for how much care you've given me in the past."

It was now that she looked up at him, and she struggled not to cry as she did so. This was overwhelming, painful... She hated it, but she would endure it if it meant Riku would accept her again-- possibly care for her even slightly in the way he used to.

"We've been friends since we were pretty young... all three of us. We used to play on the island together all the time... We were inseparable. If I laughed, you'd both smile and laugh with me. If I was upset, you'd cheer me up. If I got hurt, you'd do everything you could to help." She paused as she remembered everything, closing her eyes to focus on not breaking down in front of him.

She swallowed. "I remember... when we were making a raft. You wanted to get away and see the world... and Sora and I wanted to come with you. We were set to leave... and that night, the darkness..." Her voice trailed off.

[silverstung]

Riku flinched at the touch as if burned. Since he'd arrived at the castle, no one had touched him save the necessary contact of carrying a body, or a brief handshake. And Kairi-- well, not only was she a denizen of light, but pure on top of that. He sensed it. He smelled it thanks to his time in the dark. It took him a moment to realize he wasn't burning alive.

At last, he pulled his stark gaze to hers and saw the truth written there. In his memories, all he saw scripted were the small figures of two boys playing in the sand. "We played together...?" He fell silent for a moment longer, trying to pinpoint where exactly in his memories a third girl could fit in. His mouth opened and closed several times, until at last, he began to recall his own version of the same tale.

"We were going to take the raft in the morning. Just me and Sora, I thought. But that night, I-- I grew impatient. I couldn't sleep. A voice kept calling out to me, so I went to the secret place. It told me... to open the door..." His eyes widened. "The darkness swallowed you too, didn't it?" Guilt caused that confused look in his eyes, the slight twitching of his lower lip.

Finding out he'd betrayed two of his best friends was too much.

[loving_light]

Kairi nodded slightly, reopening her eyes. "I fell... into the wrong hands, as one of the princesses... And Sora gave his heart to restore me when my own was gone. He... came back, but... Then we were separated. All of us... You behind the door, Sora with Donald and Goofy, and me back on the Destiny Islands, waiting for you two to come home. I stayed there... and for a year, I could barely remember Sora. No one else did, everyone only remembered you... But when Namine put everything back into place, it all became clear." She stared at Riku, wishing that he could remember... wishing that the pain wasn't there. It was just all too much to bear-- She had lost her home again, and now she'd lost Riku.

But, no. She could get him back. As long as he would accept her, she would get him back. "... Axel came for me not long after all that... I ran, and made it to Twilight Town. But then, I was still captured. Riku, you... helped me get out. And when you met back up with Sora, I helped him to realize it was you. I told him to close his eyes... And he saw it was you..." She closed her own again and held Riku's hand tighter, pulling it up and covering the lower half of her face with it. Her eyebrows knitted together. "... I just... wish it would work again..." The last words were barely a whisper, and it was obvious that had they been any louder they'd have been followed by choking sobs.

[silverstung]

She was the missing piece. Riku couldn't explain it, she just was. There was a long period of rather awkward silence. Riku was amazed it all fit, and that even after his fit and the horrible things he must've put her through, she could still find it in her cute little pure heart to forgive him.

"... Kairi," he whispered. In another time, in another place, a confused boy had whispered her name over and over to try and wake her up. It was no use-- she had no heart. And now, he had no memory. But they were friends. Sora was the key to everything, and destiny had finally reunited all three of them.

There was only the soft rustle of his cloak as he pulled the redhead into his arms. No word-- just the sweet silence of absolution.

[loving_light]

Kairi felt her heart jump when the words met her ears. There was nothing else on her mind at that point-- only the fact that she had him back. She had almost lost him... He had grown angry in front of her, he had yelled at her, gone as far as to tell her to leave Sora alone... But she had him again. It felt right, there in his arms. She didn't care that she was in an unfamiliar place, that there were more than one Organization XIII members there with her, that Namine was turned cold and rude by the castle at the moment... She didn't even care that she'd lost the sight in her left eye.

She was alright... because she was safe. Because... Riku really did care for her, really did remember the feeling of her being there somewhere deep inside him, locked away and untouchable.

She clung to him, not wrapping her arms around him, but keeping herself close and finally letting herself go. She could cry here, just a little...

Just a little...

[silverstung]

Riku felt the tiniest twinge of something, and then it flittered away. He had to recap the current situation.

A) Riku was a fuckin' retard.
B) It actually wasn't his fault.
C) But he was still retarded.
D) He had an attractive girl crying on him at the moment and he had no recollection of ever meeting her.
E) He now had someone else to protect.
F) He now had someone else who knew what he'd gone through and would listen to him as long as he said something.
G) He was still going to get his ass kicked when Sora found out.

Riku sighed softly, a bit of silver hair fluttering as he adjusted his grip on the poor pink-clad princess. Unsure of what to say, he could only rest his chin the top of her head and envelop her in the same strong, warm arms that had once carried her to hell and back. His eyebrow quirked as he felt the beginnings of sobs, and he offered her a small backrub.

"Sora's gonna kick me really hard for making you cry twice," he murmured with the most hesitant of smiles. "But that's okay. I deserve it."

[loving_light]

Kairi laughed just a bit, shaking more in his arms in doing so. "You don't deserve anything of the sort." She said, burying her face in his chest. "Y-you... may have meant it at the time, but I know you'd do whatever you could to erase that it ever happened..." She felt herself calming and soon she had stopped her little bit of crying.

She found herself uncontrollably smiling, concentrating on the warmth that enveloped her from both external and internal sources. Now all that was left... was to meet up with Sora again. Sora...

Then it hit her.

"I never answered... when you asked about how much Sora meant to me," She said quietly, not moving or making any attempt to get away from him. She was comfortable. "What he means to me... It the same that you mean to me. I don't think I could live with knowing either of you were gone... It would be impossible for me, I know it. I've almost lost you two so many times that I've started to just trust that no matter what happens, the only way I'll believe you can't get back to me is if I see you killed. And I'd get in the way of that fatal blow before I let either of you die."

[silverstung]

Riku could only continue smiling, trying to ease her fears no matter how guilty he felt inside. "I would," he agreed. "I was being... selfish." Agh. Happens a lot with children of darkness.

He fell silent as she began to answer his question. It was only when she said she loved them both equally that he felt a little lurch in his heart. This girl, whom he'd shared such a tight past with (apparently), would give her life for him in a heartbeat. Maybe-- maybe if he dug down deep enough, he could remember feeling that... for someone other than Sora.

"Kairi." His grip on her slackened a little but he didn't push her away. "I don't want you to be another casualty. As long as Sora and I can still breathe-- we'll protect you."

Guilt. It was raw and sour and he was used to its taste by now, but he would never, ever enjoy it.

[loving_light]

Kairi pulled herself back lightly, not out of his arms, but enough to look up at him comfortably. She mentally cursed him for being so tall, but it made her feel... safer, even if she didn't like being so short compared to him. She smiled softly, and leaned up, wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.

"I know you will... No ammount of magic can take away what lies deepest inside."

[silverstung]

Riku wasn't sure what to say to that. Nothing that made him sound intelligent, anyway. He settled for a nervous chuckle and averting his eyes as best as he could. Those long bangs could hide them, but they did nothing for his slight blush. Stupid modesty complex or lack thereof.

"It's getting kind of late..."

[loving_light]

Kairi noticed the blush as she let go of him, knowing he was nervous, unprepared, and embarrassed. She smiled, and looked down at her feet, then back up at him.

"You'll be wanting to head back to your room, then...?" She questioned with just the slightest bit of hope that he would stay. However, if he didn't she could get Sora to come see her, too...

[silverstung]

Riku nodded reluctantly. "Don't want to overstay my welcome or anything... Besides, you haven't caught up with Sora yet." He glanced away again. "Knowing him, he'll be really happy to see you." Or anyone from his past, for that matter. He tried to ignore whatever jealousy threatened to well up.

When he brought his eyes to Kairi again, there was the most delicate of smiles waiting for her. This was the same Riku who had gone through hell and back for his friends. He hadn't ditched the old masochistic habits, but he was healing a little more every day... or that's what he wanted to believe.

He shattered the fairytale and stepped toward the door. "I'm in room 902 if you need anything." He paused, cast a glance over his shoulder. "Take care of yourself."

[loving_light]

Kairi smiled, raising a hand in a not-quite-wave. "You don't have to tell me twice," She responded... and as soon as the door shut behind him, she could feel most of the safety and strength she felt go with the boy walking out of her room. She looked down, closed her eyes, and sighed, going back to sit on her bed.

"... Riku..." She felt alone now, and yet something glowed inside her heat-- a feeling she'd always had, and a feeling she'd never lose. It would live on in her for as long as she lived, and even then would live after her. So she knew, as she pushed that loneliness down, that things would always turn out alright.

"I knew you wouldn't forget."

[silverstung]

Riku disappeared from the room and from the floor, but less than ten minutes later he was back down there. He didn't knock on the doors of either of his friends-- he didn't want to trouble them. Instead, he parked himself in front of Faye's door, who happened to be in between, only a pillow and a journal for company.

Like a guardian, or maybe a child unwilling to let go of the things he held dear, he dozed off there until morning.