The sixth floor has ALL the fun...

[mercwithamouthx]

Who: Jan and Deadpool
What: Fight, what else?
When: Sometime after DP's new first post.
Where: Sixth floor
Rating: R, because really...

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[eatinurdudez]

Jan was giggling at the people in his journal, particularly that happy fellow that everyone and their mother was either trying to get slaughter happy again, when the undeniable sound of something appearing, just appearing, in his room hit. And then came a rather dry insult, and suddenly the journal was tossed to one side and he rolled to the other, just barely avoiding becoming Swiss.

"OH fuck, it's ON BITCH! Jan yelled at the top of his lungs as his hands shot to his back, and reappeared with two fully loaded and damned intimidating P90s. "EAT SHIT AND DIE YOU MOTHER FUCKER!" And for the Valentine, witty did not really matter. Not as much as killing and eating.

And so, he began to return fire upon the costumed idiot in his room, dimly aware that the rest of floor six was sure to respond poorly when this was over.

[mercwithamouthx]

Deadpool whistled at the sight of the guns. "Impressive. Oh, but we wouldn't be trying to make up for something else now would we?" the merc with a mouth quipped with a wry grin and an odd giggle.

The "hero" didn't so much as try and dodge the on-coming barrage of bullets as just stood in the way while he dropped his weapons and pulled out something with a little more... bang. "Owie, owie, owie," he practically sung to himself as the bullets tore through his suit.

Finally he dodged to the side, performing a lovely little somersault while pulling the pins off four grenades with his teeth and then tossing them Jan's way with a flick of the wrist, still amid air. He landed on his toes nimbly and ducked into a low crouch with one hand on the hilt of his sword.

"Oh. Did I fail to mention my little HEALING FACTOR? Or my awesome ACROBATICS? Or that I always carry HEAVY ARTILLERY? Good luck with those--" BOOM. "--grenades."

YOU SAW NOTHING!

[eatinurdudez]

You don't get as crazy as Jan without good reason. And a rather disturbing fearlessness in the face of things that go boom just happened to be one of them. He was already dashing towards the grenades as they flew his way. And if that wasn't enough of an alarm for any sane individual, the fact that he was smiling like a three year old who just got his chance to sit on Santa's lap should.

"Those all fuckin fancy and shit, but they don't matter a sloppy shit right now, BITCH!" He timed his latest insult at just the right moment. He leapt just in time to catch the wave from the massive explosion behind him, catapulting himself at the Hero at breakneck speeds, and from near point blank range.

He would need to be the bastard love child of Houdini and Jesus and blessed with the power of Satan to avoid the Valentine Torpedo.

[mercwithamouthx]

Deadpool was neither blessed, nor a lovechild of the two previously mentioned--he was, however, cursed. "Figures." The "Valentine Torpedo" hit the merc dead-on. Deadpool went flying backwards into the wall from the force of the hit. He briefly wondered if it would hold or not.

Good thing it was the door behind him, because he had no such luck. The two burst through out to the other side, splintered wood flying everywhere.

Unfortunately for Deadpool his curse was with life. No sweet Death whose lips to kiss. Oh, well. Try again another day.

After a moment the merc stood back up and swiped away wooden pieces from his suit. "Right. Now if you'll ex-queeeeze me--I have to pull a few stake-sized splinters from my precious buttocks now!"

[eatinurdudez]

Floor six, where the fun never stops. And after the two of them had take a short trip through hellah pain airways, Jan was more than certain that this had been the most fun yet. He looked up from his spot in the hall and grinned big and wide. A giant piece of his door was lodged into Reno's, meaning more fun for him later when he tried to explain that.

And then Deadpool had to talk about leaving and pulling out splinters from his ass. And like hell he was gonna let the fun end so soon.

"FUCK! THAT! SHIT!" Jan yelled as he pushed up off the ground, several large splinters of wood sticking out of his shoulders. "You and I are just getting started, bitch. And like hell...I'm gonna just fucking let you leave after barging into my room and going FUCKING RAMBO!"

With that, Jan whipped his guns up into the air over dramatically, and then back down at Deadpool, pausing just long enough to give a taunting pelvic thrust before firing like an idiot.

[mercwithamouthx]

"Okay, now that...!" Deadpool said while hitting the floor, "...is just wrong!"

The merc knew just spreading flat on the floor wouldn't buy him that much time. The guy was stupid, but he couldn't be that stupid. Why waste bullets when you're not hitting anything, right? Well, not that he could talk about that; he did it all the time. Whatever.

Deadpool rolled to the side and and got back to his knees. He wasn't kidding when he said he had splinters to pull out of his ass though--instead of drawing his swords he simply pulled a large stick out of his rear. Boy, that guy is NOT gonna like this...

Red and black flashed forward with inhuman speed and the piece of wood wavered deadly in the air. A moment later and Deadpool was up and over Jan's head, and a flip after that he landed perfectly on the opposite side of the vampire. He stabbed upwards with the makeshift stake. Not near the heart; he didn't actually know the guy was an actual vampire. He just liked to stab things.

"Screw Rambo. I was always more of a ninja flick kinda guy