Log: you can be sure you're in control [Kanda]
Who: Kanda Yuu
What: Finding Rinali
When: A few minutes after Rinali dies ;-;
Where: Rinali's room
Rating: um~ pgish
Maybe. Just maybe what she said had gotten to him. Kanda dismissed the notion with a firm shake of his head. No, it was nothing of the sort. It was simply that despite lacking the memories he couldn't stop himself from feeling this way. It angered him to no ends. Kanda Yuu liked control and when these band of Order lunatics were involved he didn't have it. That he would go and help them if needed was certain, but Kanda liked to tell himself otherwise. Kanda liked to tell himself that no matter what happened to them, it had nothing to do with him. It simply did not.
Kanda Yuu managed to close the journal calmly, but what followed after was not calm or controlled or planned-
-he was on his knees before the journal hit the ground and though he had known the moment he saw her, that she was-
-that she was-
-she couldn't be-
-dead.
It became hard to swallow as Kanda lifted her gently (because some part of him was full of grace; in how he held his sword, in how he moved. He didn't tolerate anything less) her blood was still warm. And oh god it was her blood-
-on his hands-
-and he had seen so much blood before-
-but it was so red.
There was no point, there was no heart, nothing (but that never stopped him before) "Rinali-" Her hair was messy and his eyes moved down to her throat, the marks there. Shifting her body in his arms (God, she was so small right now) Kanda continued his assessment. He'd seen many deaths, bodies torn apart. It shouldn't bother him. (But this did)
Her fingers, normally clear and cut- because there was nothing dirty about Rinali even Kanda had to admit that- bloodied and- was that skin below? Not her own but her attackers. It hadn't been long, she still felt warm, Kanda reflexively drew her closer. This felt vaguely familiar.
His throat wouldn't stop itching.
His eyes wouldn't stop stinging.
He hated it.
He wanted to walk out this room and ignore the whole thing, he wanted to pretend their fight hadn't happened and this hadn't happened either, he wanted to... he wanted to... Kanda picked her up and rose, moving to lay her down on her bed. (It was better than the floor anyway, who knew how the others would react if they had found her? Bunch of idiots) There was only methods in his movements, they didn't require any thoughts as he smoothed the torn side of her coat, covering up-
-that.
Kanda didn't stop what he was doing until there was nothing more. The numbers and his name carved on her thigh. He noted it but- but- (it was getting harder to think now, he was so angry he was seeing red) he drew a white sheet over her. He couldn't bring himself to cover her face. If he did that...
She would really.
At least now-
-he felt like-
-sleeping.
Yes. She was.
Sitting on the side of her bed, Kanda pressed one hand to his face, ignoring the migraine coming on. Just one last thing.
Kanda opened the journal slowly.
What: Finding Rinali
When: A few minutes after Rinali dies ;-;
Where: Rinali's room
Rating: um~ pgish
Maybe. Just maybe what she said had gotten to him. Kanda dismissed the notion with a firm shake of his head. No, it was nothing of the sort. It was simply that despite lacking the memories he couldn't stop himself from feeling this way. It angered him to no ends. Kanda Yuu liked control and when these band of Order lunatics were involved he didn't have it. That he would go and help them if needed was certain, but Kanda liked to tell himself otherwise. Kanda liked to tell himself that no matter what happened to them, it had nothing to do with him. It simply did not.
Kanda Yuu managed to close the journal calmly, but what followed after was not calm or controlled or planned-
-he was on his knees before the journal hit the ground and though he had known the moment he saw her, that she was-
-that she was-
-she couldn't be-
-dead.
It became hard to swallow as Kanda lifted her gently (because some part of him was full of grace; in how he held his sword, in how he moved. He didn't tolerate anything less) her blood was still warm. And oh god it was her blood-
-on his hands-
-and he had seen so much blood before-
-but it was so red.
There was no point, there was no heart, nothing (but that never stopped him before) "Rinali-" Her hair was messy and his eyes moved down to her throat, the marks there. Shifting her body in his arms (God, she was so small right now) Kanda continued his assessment. He'd seen many deaths, bodies torn apart. It shouldn't bother him. (But this did)
Her fingers, normally clear and cut- because there was nothing dirty about Rinali even Kanda had to admit that- bloodied and- was that skin below? Not her own but her attackers. It hadn't been long, she still felt warm, Kanda reflexively drew her closer. This felt vaguely familiar.
His throat wouldn't stop itching.
His eyes wouldn't stop stinging.
He hated it.
He wanted to walk out this room and ignore the whole thing, he wanted to pretend their fight hadn't happened and this hadn't happened either, he wanted to... he wanted to... Kanda picked her up and rose, moving to lay her down on her bed. (It was better than the floor anyway, who knew how the others would react if they had found her? Bunch of idiots) There was only methods in his movements, they didn't require any thoughts as he smoothed the torn side of her coat, covering up-
-that.
Kanda didn't stop what he was doing until there was nothing more. The numbers and his name carved on her thigh. He noted it but- but- (it was getting harder to think now, he was so angry he was seeing red) he drew a white sheet over her. He couldn't bring himself to cover her face. If he did that...
She would really.
At least now-
-he felt like-
-sleeping.
Yes. She was.
Sitting on the side of her bed, Kanda pressed one hand to his face, ignoring the migraine coming on. Just one last thing.
Kanda opened the journal slowly.