cybernautical mode: The Disclaimer
The DisclaimerSince even if I use qualifiers, or if I don't, people still don't grasp that I'm usually talking about the behaviour of a certain group in a larger group, I'm just going to type up one big disclaimer for all the controversial topics I can think of and add more as I think of more
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I completely understand the whole "using strong terminology when you're angry." That's what caused me to make that "psycho breastfeeder mom scream queen" statement that got me defriended. It upset me for a little while until I realized that the person who was attacking me for it, in calling me a hypocrite, was being hypocritical herself.
I mean anyone who reads this LJ knows I care about other people's feelings to the point of too much sometimes. Just because I think certain people in a group are behaving over the top doesn't mean I don't think every breastfeeding mother in the world is psycho.
And then it hit me: "hypocrite" is the word to describe the condition of dissonance when a person encounters a worldview more flexible than they expected or desired it to be from their own.
I'm glad to have the reaffirmations, explanation and agreement, I assure you.
And thank you.
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By definition, a hypocrite is a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion, and hypocritical is characterized by hypocrisy, a feigning to be what one is not or to believe what one does not.
So, I guess I'm not understanding what you mean to say when you write that "hypocrite" is the word to describe the condition of dissonance when a person encounters a worldview more flexible than they expected or desired it to be from their own.
Could you elaborate?
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Like, if I'm remembering correctly, I used ion_duck's name as an example several years ago in a fake-slash context, meant to be just silly and to make another person laugh. I got called a screaming hypocrite for it because the other person believed I shouldn't be using his name without his permission, especially in a context of slash, which I espouse to hate.
But ion_duck was okay with me using his name in this context because he knew I wasn't being serious about it, wasn't going to actually write a fic involving the slash pairing, and was doing it specifically to make somebody laugh in the moment ( ... )
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...not really. I didn't need a recap of the event; I know that she thought you were being a hyprocrite. I just couldn't figure out what you meant in the dissonance phrase.
I think from the phrase when a person encounters a worldview more flexible than they expected or desired it to be from their own. that it's the "worldview more flexible than they expected" part that I don't seem to get.
Let's say that you and I disagreed and I called you a hypocrite. Let's say that you disagree. Fine-- that stuff happens. I'd probably just call it a disagreement in how we see things.
How would that mean that your worldview is more flexible than mine? Do you mean to say that because we disagreed, I have a less flexible interpretation of things?
If not, please clarify.
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If we disagreed and you called me a hypocrite, it means my worldview is more flexible than you expected my worldview to be, not that my worldview is more flexible than yours.
The dissonance comes from her apparent idea that I was presenting myself as falsely pious or holier-than-thou. Which I haven't. Someone with as many faults as I have, and the accompanying stress trying to recover from them is not holier than anybody. I've never made myself out like I am perfect or like I'm a better person. I admit I am prone to moments of harshness in anger, just like anybody else. She refused to or was unable to see any of this.
I, as a result, apparently don't have a worldview fitting in the confines of her expectation.
Is this clearer?
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