01 . In which the mun apologizes in advance for this douchebag's existence

[jilbax]

[One of the fourth floor bedrooms has just become occupied. Its new occupant is a three-foot-tall green thing with blue scales and fins on his face. He is confused. And he does not like being confused. Being confused, in fact, pisses him the fuck off.]

WHAT THE EVER-LOVING FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT?!

[The sound of rushing wind and flapping pages can

Comments

omg these two assholes should not talk to each other

[tabbytastic]

[dude, your journal is cackling at you]

lol what was that? these two assholes should totally talk to each other?

[jilbax]

[The wind noise dies down a little, he's trying to figure out where the fuck that's coming from. Finally he narrows it down to the journal.]

Oh, awesome, now fuckin' Shakespeare here thinks this is hilarious. Thank you, I'm here all week. Go die.

[THUNK. yeah he may have just tossed the journal over his shoulder. it's still open though.]

that must have been what I said, yes.

[tabbytastic]

Hey, moron!

[still laughing]

Calm down before you shit yourself.

:Db

[jilbax]

[still........ the opposite of laughing. whatever that is. raging i guess idk]

Hey, numbnuts! I don't actually shit, joke's on you.

[tabbytastic]

Oh yeah, you sure showed me. [snort]

At least I'm not throwing a tantrum at a book.

[jilbax]

[HEY HE IS NOT THROWING A TANTRUM........ (except for the part where he totally is)

anyway gonna go and stand over that book now LIKE A BOSS]

Oh, yeah, well guess who fucking started it? I'll give you a hint, not me.

[tabbytastic]

It's not my fault you're overreacting.

[jilbax]

Overreac-

[A loud gust of air buffets the journal. Just when he was starting to calm down, too.]

You want overreacting?! I can fucking give you overreacting, I'll tear your fucking house down. Overreac - let me tell you about my day, okay, bitchtits?! First I'm getting harrassed by some stupid whore in combat boots and Ditz Frankenstein, and then suddenly I'm in Barbie's Magic Bitch Dream Castle getting laughed at by the fucking Pagemaster, I think this is a pretty goddamn reasonable reaction!

[the nice thing about not having to breathe is that he can do tirades like that in one breath.]

[tabbytastic]

[if she could still eat popcorn, she would be doing so now. This was pretty damn entertaining!]

Oh man, if you're mad now, just wait.

[jilbax]

[No no no, he's supposed to be trolling people, not the other way around!! >m<]

Oh, Christ. What's next, the TV comes to life and the fucking Esper Queen crawls out? Seven daaaays, oooooh~!

[tabbytastic]

[you may have met your match, good sir.]

Every bad B movie ever, man. And you can't go home.

[jilbax]

[REJECTED.....]

Oh, cool, so there is an upside.

[tabbytastic]

[hey, at least he's not screaming anymore]

You want to be stuck in a fairyland castle?

[jilbax]

Oh fuck no! But it beats the hell out of having Fawkes around.

[tabbytastic]

Well, either way... get comfy, because you're trapped here, my friend.

[jilbax]

Yeah, right. I'd like to see you try and keep me here.

... Also you're not my friend.