001 ;;

[disamtyler]

[dictated - he knows the book is there, that it writes down your words, and that it speaks every now-and-then ]

Oh look, a book that speaks, isn't THAT original. Sam Tyler is hearing voices from a book! That's bloody genius!

Look, guys, you messed up again, I'd like to go back to 1973 now, if I may?

[a short pause]I don't appreciate being

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[walkingthedust]

[dictated, sounding a little wry] I think you might be waiting for awhile.

[disamtyler]

[dictated]

Oh, a sarcastic book. Brilliant!

[walkingthedust]

Oi, I'm not a bloody book, I'll have you know.

[disamtyler]

[rushes to the book, flips through the pages a bit]

Wait, so you can hear me? You can hear me!?

What the bloody hell is going on..!?

[walkingthedust]

It's a magical book, or so I've been told. It keeps track of everybody in the castle, in a way.

- Oh, yeah, you're in a bleedin' huge castle, with all sorts of people from different worlds. Which sounds completely mad, I know. I was travelling through the whole of time and space before I came here, and I still think it's bizarre. And I think I'm supposed to mention that the kitchen's on the first floor.

[disamtyler]

That is...this is not something my mind could just make up...

[a pause and then...]

You've traveled through time!?

[walkingthedust]

Yeah, with this friend of mine, the Doctor. He's here, too - well, three different versions of him are. And don't even ask how that's possible, 'cos I haven't quite figured that one out myself. Anyway, he's a Time Lord. Travelling through time is sort of what he does. Well, that and loads of running.

Name's Donna, by the way. Donna Noble.

[disamtyler]

Heh, don't get me started on time-travelling.

[a pause as he tries to take all this in]

Since you've been reading, I suppose I don't need to tell you I'm Sam, Sam Tyler...

[walkingthedust]

Where're you from, Sam? Somewhere up North, I take it? [a laugh] The castle seems to be fond of Brits, dunno why.

[disamtyler]

You're talking as if the castle is alive...

Yeah, I'm from Manchester, I'm...part of the Greater Manchester Police Department.

[walkingthedust]

From what everybody's told me, it is.

A copper, then? [she chuckles] I was a temp before I started travelling. A bloody good one, too, though my mum would say that's nothing to be proud of.

[disamtyler]

Now that's frightning.

Yeah, I was a...well I guess you could say I was a DCI and got demoted to DI, but it's more complicated than that.

...Mother didn't like coppers?

[walkingthedust]

Yeah, tell me about it. You try being turned into a bloody cat for a week.

Didn't like my inability to get a real job. I thought temping at least brought a bit of variety to my life, you know? But she always said it was because I was foolish and didn't care about my fiture.

[disamtyler]

....

[a cough]

I've known my share of disappointed Mothers...

[walkingthedust]

That's how mine's always been. Bit irritating, but at least my granddad's always been there for me.

[disamtyler]

Thankfully my mother was fine, it was my girlfriend's who was the trouble.