What is lost

[_fredless]

Is it strange?

[There's a pause here, because for someone that is so friendly with words? For once the right ones seem hard to find]

To feel the loss of something you never even wanted in the first place?

[Yes, she's talking about Illyria here. Now that attacks and expeditions are over? The realization of what is gone is falling catching up with

Comments

Written

[historyrepeater]

Wanted or not, people or things have a way of growing on you. Or, the idea of them.

Written

[_fredless]

I don't know if growing on me is...exactly how I'd put it. She was there?

And then she wasn't.

[Maybe it's the loss of being able to understand that she misses. And now that opportunity is gone]

Written

[historyrepeater]

And you didn't want her here?

[ So, this is a person. ]

Written

[_fredless]

I didn't want people to know what she meant. So yes, I suppose I didn't want her here.

[Fred is reluctant to explain further, considering who this is. But it isn't like he couldn't scroll back through the journals himself and sort it out for himself]

Written

[historyrepeater]

What did she mean?

Written

[_fredless]

[Somewhere beneath all the complexities? There's a very, very simple answer]

That I die. I was going my best to keep that part a secret.

[It occurs to her then that he likely knows of Illyria. After all, she was one of the people Damon attacked]

Written

[historyrepeater]

That -

[ He takes this in. ]

A vampire version of yourself lived in the castle?

[ Hypocritical... ]

Written

[_fredless]

...a vampire?

[Had she made it sound that way]

....no. No. More like a primordial god. One of the Firsts. My body got used as the host.

[And that? Was oddly clinical. It helps when the receiving end isn't a friend you are having to face down]

Written

[historyrepeater]

...Oh.

[ Well. Not a vampire. His righteous rage simmers into indignation. ]

I'm sorry you died.

Written

[_fredless]

[This is...one of the odder conversations she's had in weeks]

I guess I'm sorry that I died too.

[There'd been plans. Maybe nothing of a specific sort, but she always secretly assumed that she's conquered the worst the universe was going to throw at her once she escaped Pylea. And maybe it wasn't a tidy little house in Texas with a whitewashed fence and babies that slept in drawers? But it was a future]