[Aziraphale sighed weightily before he began, well aware the demon would not enjoy anything he was about to say and that his own opinions would just add to the mess.]
I don't think you need His offer. You have always had a spark of goodness in you, Crowley, something that makes you unique among demons. You retained some of your Grace, I believe, and that is what allowed humankind to rub off on you. If you take this offer... you will be His again, you will be an angel and full of the divine rapture once more.
But you won't be you any longer.
An angel is something He created you as, a demon is something He made you become, but this... man you are today, is something you have created for yourself over six thousand years of effort.
[He pauses, licking his lips nervously. He has already disagreed with God, he may as well continue and let it all out.]
After all, look at me. I'm an angel, full of Grace and touched by the divine presence and, if we're truly honest, how different are we? We are what we have become because of our existences and experiences, good and bad, to erase all that to become something you haven't been in six thousand years..?
Only you can know if the price is worth it, but in my opinion-- [A deep breath, feeling the buttons on his cardigan strain.] --you already have that spark of goodness, and His offer to be made here was, well, cruel.
[He half expected to be smote right where he stood, looking as though he hardly dared believe his own audacious blasphemy.]
[Crowley, for his part, listened patiently. The effort to argue would be too much right now. Everything had just been running over and over again in his head, and he was...tired. He didn't want an option like this, something to give him more questions. He had enough in his two years here as it was.
...Three years soon.
He exhaled deeply, the action unneeded, but it did sort of...focus things. A little. Slow down the world a little]
You're right, angel. Of course you are. It's that thing you do.
[He looked up at the ceiling, his brow creasing]
I've come to like me, you know. This thing that straddles between both sides. Sure, it's a fucking headache and there are times I'd very much like to throw myself off a cliff, but... I worked at this.
I lost everything...back then. You can't and shouldn't know what that feels like. It's a pain like no other. But I did get better, in my own way. I just...I don't know. Having it offered right back there on a silver platter. I'd swear he was doing the tempting trick just to get me back for Eden.
[He would like to say that He wouldn't do something like that, but he wouldn't be able to and be sure he was telling the truth. There was that saying... God works in mysterious ways, and He really did. It was bloody irritating, though.]
Whatever His motives are, you'll only get a headache trying to puzzle them out. You are what you are, and you are best left that way.
[After all, he'd grown to like Crowley too, not that he would say that in such blunt terms. Not even now, instead he'll go with one of his favoured phrases.]
[Crowley gave his lifelong friend a look at that. It was the same, exasperated look he gave the angel every time he finally managed to get a phrase right, only to make it all proper and English]
Nice to know I'm not completely beyond repair then.
I don't think you need His offer. You have always had a spark of goodness in you, Crowley, something that makes you unique among demons. You retained some of your Grace, I believe, and that is what allowed humankind to rub off on you. If you take this offer... you will be His again, you will be an angel and full of the divine rapture once more.
But you won't be you any longer.
An angel is something He created you as, a demon is something He made you become, but this... man you are today, is something you have created for yourself over six thousand years of effort.
[He pauses, licking his lips nervously. He has already disagreed with God, he may as well continue and let it all out.]
After all, look at me. I'm an angel, full of Grace and touched by the divine presence and, if we're truly honest, how different are we? We are what we have become because of our existences and experiences, good and bad, to erase all that to become something you haven't been in six thousand years..?
Only you can know if the price is worth it, but in my opinion-- [A deep breath, feeling the buttons on his cardigan strain.] --you already have that spark of goodness, and His offer to be made here was, well, cruel.
[He half expected to be smote right where he stood, looking as though he hardly dared believe his own audacious blasphemy.]
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...Three years soon.
He exhaled deeply, the action unneeded, but it did sort of...focus things. A little. Slow down the world a little]
You're right, angel. Of course you are. It's that thing you do.
[He looked up at the ceiling, his brow creasing]
I've come to like me, you know. This thing that straddles between both sides. Sure, it's a fucking headache and there are times I'd very much like to throw myself off a cliff, but... I worked at this.
I lost everything...back then. You can't and shouldn't know what that feels like. It's a pain like no other. But I did get better, in my own way. I just...I don't know. Having it offered right back there on a silver platter. I'd swear he was doing the tempting trick just to get me back for Eden.
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Whatever His motives are, you'll only get a headache trying to puzzle them out. You are what you are, and you are best left that way.
[After all, he'd grown to like Crowley too, not that he would say that in such blunt terms. Not even now, instead he'll go with one of his favoured phrases.]
If it isn't broken, don't fix it.
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Nice to know I'm not completely beyond repair then.
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That's not to say some minor tweaks couldn't be in order.
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[He was quiet a moment, after all, actual gratitude did not come easy to the demon]
Thanks. You know.
...Good talk.
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Quite welcome, my dear.
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And may we never speak of this again.
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Then if you will excuse me, I have an engagement.
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Well, I won't keep you.
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I am glad you agree with me, I would have missed you.
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Yeah yeah. Whatever.
[Meaning, of course, he'd of missed the Arrangement too. Different sides though they might be, it was how it was SUPPOSED to go]
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