o31 | written; oh into the sea of waking dreams
Enough.
Again and again, to members of the Peace Patrol, I have said we need to conduct their trials. Not because these are things I believe in. Not because trials are something we have set up where I'm from. Not because I have any belief in words such as "innocent until proven guilty," or "human rights." These are ideas I can understand, even support, but they're not inherently mine. Yet a good number of you believe in these things, and I respect that, enough to listen and attempt to follow your rules.
I'm done. For every trial that's never been held, and the one that has. For every "evil" commited by someone who disappeared before we could bother to bring them to justice. For every time I've been told this is what we need to believe in, and seen nothing happen outside of words spoken like words themselves have meaning.
Words do. Actions have even more meaning, and there's a few things I've learned while here over the months. This castle wins. We lose. Our inability to act loses us friends, lovers, and rivals like they're nothing. We lose parts of ourselves being brought here, lose further bits and pieces while we are kept, and then we turn on each other and we take even more then.
We let people take what they have no right to take. We deny people this idea of "justice" I've heard from so many mouths, that doesn't do more than nod and acknowledge we should do something.
I spoke out against killing those who killed us. When is a death righteous, versus done in vengeance? One death brings back nothing lost. Only the castle can do that, and we're mocked by the fact it controls us so completely we can't even die to get away.
Then we gave up controlling ourselves. Leroy had that problem. Anyone, anyone can have that problem. Yet our response is to make sounds, and not address the problem. You as a castle ask we don't murder, and I don't want to be the executioner anymore than anyone else. I believe in life, in second chances, in ninth chances, but not in stupidity. I'm not that strong, to believe that everyone changes, but I will do what I can to help the ones who want to change to change. I can support that, I will support that, and I will be officially leaving the Peace Patrol as of now.
Each person who believes in justice, who believes in something more than following limited traditions from one world, we have so few left to deal with. Joshua Christopher, Legato, Arthas, Tyki, four out of a larger number, and not even the one responsible for the majority of these actions.
Riful has disappeared, and if the castle is to be believed, she was sent home. All those memories, those pains, the people she murdered, those are left for us to remember along with the bitter knowledge that we did too little, too late, and that we never made her face the consequences for what she did.
I lay the blame on all of us. The ones who care, who don't care, who just arrived, because we are all in this together. Hate each other, love each other, maybe tolerate each other, we are the ones who can decide to change things.
All I've seen is empty promises the last half a year. There is no justice in Paradisa. Every last one of us makes certain of that, when we try to forget the past, when we focus so much on going home we forget we live here now, when we let the people in town be murdered and while we hold funerals, we bring apologies and clasped hands when it comes to seeing things through to an end.
There are some people I know who are amazing, unbelievable in what they can do, and who they can reach. For better or worse, none of them are here right now, but I have to believe that those of us who are can be something like them. We can make a difference, we can choose to protect our lives and agree that life is a precious thing. We can work to figure out the mysteries, we can be coherent even if parts of us hate the other, because we can rise beyond all of that.
Or I can wait for the day when I can turn to the people I love and tell them I'm sorry we were too weak to find our own way. I'm sorry I can make no promises to our safety, or to consequences for our actions.
I'm sorry if you die, but at least you get a headstone in the graveyard.
I'm sorry you were kidnapped, but at least it's over now.
I'm sorry you were tortured, but that only mattered when it happened.
I'm sorry for your loss, but it didn't happen to me.
When you can stop thinking like you don't matter, like what happens here doesn't matter, talk to me. Then do something.
I know I am.
Again and again, to members of the Peace Patrol, I have said we need to conduct their trials. Not because these are things I believe in. Not because trials are something we have set up where I'm from. Not because I have any belief in words such as "innocent until proven guilty," or "human rights." These are ideas I can understand, even support, but they're not inherently mine. Yet a good number of you believe in these things, and I respect that, enough to listen and attempt to follow your rules.
I'm done. For every trial that's never been held, and the one that has. For every "evil" commited by someone who disappeared before we could bother to bring them to justice. For every time I've been told this is what we need to believe in, and seen nothing happen outside of words spoken like words themselves have meaning.
Words do. Actions have even more meaning, and there's a few things I've learned while here over the months. This castle wins. We lose. Our inability to act loses us friends, lovers, and rivals like they're nothing. We lose parts of ourselves being brought here, lose further bits and pieces while we are kept, and then we turn on each other and we take even more then.
We let people take what they have no right to take. We deny people this idea of "justice" I've heard from so many mouths, that doesn't do more than nod and acknowledge we should do something.
I spoke out against killing those who killed us. When is a death righteous, versus done in vengeance? One death brings back nothing lost. Only the castle can do that, and we're mocked by the fact it controls us so completely we can't even die to get away.
Then we gave up controlling ourselves. Leroy had that problem. Anyone, anyone can have that problem. Yet our response is to make sounds, and not address the problem. You as a castle ask we don't murder, and I don't want to be the executioner anymore than anyone else. I believe in life, in second chances, in ninth chances, but not in stupidity. I'm not that strong, to believe that everyone changes, but I will do what I can to help the ones who want to change to change. I can support that, I will support that, and I will be officially leaving the Peace Patrol as of now.
Each person who believes in justice, who believes in something more than following limited traditions from one world, we have so few left to deal with. Joshua Christopher, Legato, Arthas, Tyki, four out of a larger number, and not even the one responsible for the majority of these actions.
Riful has disappeared, and if the castle is to be believed, she was sent home. All those memories, those pains, the people she murdered, those are left for us to remember along with the bitter knowledge that we did too little, too late, and that we never made her face the consequences for what she did.
I lay the blame on all of us. The ones who care, who don't care, who just arrived, because we are all in this together. Hate each other, love each other, maybe tolerate each other, we are the ones who can decide to change things.
All I've seen is empty promises the last half a year. There is no justice in Paradisa. Every last one of us makes certain of that, when we try to forget the past, when we focus so much on going home we forget we live here now, when we let the people in town be murdered and while we hold funerals, we bring apologies and clasped hands when it comes to seeing things through to an end.
There are some people I know who are amazing, unbelievable in what they can do, and who they can reach. For better or worse, none of them are here right now, but I have to believe that those of us who are can be something like them. We can make a difference, we can choose to protect our lives and agree that life is a precious thing. We can work to figure out the mysteries, we can be coherent even if parts of us hate the other, because we can rise beyond all of that.
Or I can wait for the day when I can turn to the people I love and tell them I'm sorry we were too weak to find our own way. I'm sorry I can make no promises to our safety, or to consequences for our actions.
I'm sorry if you die, but at least you get a headstone in the graveyard.
I'm sorry you were kidnapped, but at least it's over now.
I'm sorry you were tortured, but that only mattered when it happened.
I'm sorry for your loss, but it didn't happen to me.
When you can stop thinking like you don't matter, like what happens here doesn't matter, talk to me. Then do something.
I know I am.