027 Points - A clean castle is a happy castle

[tomatoandbasil]

[What a fine day it is for the tail end of summer, isn't it, Paradisa? Everyone's rooms are back to normal. We all may or may not be scarred for life. We may all be varying degrees of depressed to have seen and heard what was hidden in us and in others. But the important thing is we made it out alive. Right? Right. Life goes on

Comments

[teds_up]

[Pause. T u r n A r o u n d . . .

OH GOD THE ELF.]

Oh jeez!

[First she's driving around in a tiny car, and now she's going at him with...

is that a giant q-tip.]

. . . Uh.

[tomatoandbasil]

[Wow, Ted, the castle must really love you! What luck you have speaking to her, really.]

So I was right. Nobody's bothered to clean their ears out in this damnable castle in months. Tch.

[She kind of looks like she'd rather not be doing this, but she's already said too much.]

[teds_up]

[You have no idea!

Also WHY DOES SHE WANT TO CLEAN HIS EARS. Ted's pretty bad at telling what's a loss in general...

Clearly, this requires a calm, collected response, telling the elf nicely that that's okay, he'll make sure to do that the next time he showers.]

Uh.

[Good job, Ted.]

[tomatoandbasil]

[Because! Someone has to do the dirty work.

Which she responds with a facepalm. Because what? This is stupid.]

My apologies. The castle...wants me to do this. I can't stop fixating on it.

As endearing as hotdog Ted is, I should really consider changing my default icon.

[teds_up]

The castle wants you to do... what now?

[Rape peoples' privacies with a giant ear-cleaning device?]

lmao poor Ted

[tomatoandbasil]

Make sure everyone is following basic hygiene regiments, apparently.

[Sadly, that sounds accurate]

[teds_up]

Iiiii assure you I've got that down pat. Thanks for the offer, though!

[w a r y . . .]

[tomatoandbasil]

Nonsense, you're still young, these skills take time to master.

[teds_up]

[.......WHAT EVEN ALLEYNE.

He takes a step back, taking on a gentler tone.]

Loooook, I just met you. I'm not sure if I'm ready for this.

[tomatoandbasil]

[A thousand years of cleaning large ears will kind of make you a pro at it. Stupid castle bringing it back out of her.]

The castle seems to care not if I know someone or not. Just that every single person who resides in it gets clean and fit.

[teds_up]

[He actually gives pause.] Hold on, is Paradisa.. controlling you?

[tomatoandbasil]

No other explanation; it's done it to me before, as I've witnessed it do countless times to others. I really should have kept my guard up, especially after recent events. I've only myself to blame.

[teds_up]

[But there is one thing Ted doesn't understand.]

But why would a castle want you to clean people's ear canals?

[tomatoandbasil]

[You know? This is a good question. The castle is the biggest troll of them all so...]

Probably just for the reactions, knowing it.

[teds_up]

Oh come on, seriously? I think that's a bit far-fetched even for a sentient castle.

[tomatoandbasil]

I've been around a while, and given how immature even gods and angels act back home? Yeah, I wouldn't put it past it, honestly.