010 (Voice)

[painhumbles]

[Whistle] Well. All I can hope is that everyone comes out of this with their tentacle rape virginity still intact. I mean, wounds heal, death only gets you a headstone in the creepy graveyard, but being badtouched lasts forever. Right? 'Course right.

That said, all conspiracy theories about how this is gonna turn into the ending of a bad horror

Comments

[autophoenix]

Months in the same castle with you, and your ability to be crass and apathetic still manages to impress me.

[painhumbles]

And in all these months, I have never stopped loving your input, Clarice.

[autophoenix]

It's Claire. [ annoyed tone is annoyed. ]

[painhumbles]

It's hard to remember the name of a chick who only calls me up to tell me how wrong I am.

[autophoenix]

If you were ever around being anything but a jerk, maybe I'd call you up for other reasons.

[painhumbles]

You just awkwardly propositioned me and I don't think I like it. Is there a sexual assault hotline here? I think I need an adult.

[autophoenix]

Not like that, you creep!

[painhumbles]

It's okay. I won't judge. I mean, I just can't help it that young women are inexplicably attracted to me in this creepy Sting way.

[autophoenix]

Oh, so it's arrogance that makes you jump to the grossest possible conclusion and twist my words. Got it.

[painhumbles]

I prefer to think of it as finding the most irritating denominator.

[autophoenix]

Actually, I think that would be you.

[painhumbles]

Finally! I've actually achieved something worthwhile in this craphole.

[autophoenix]

Make yourself a plaque.

[painhumbles]

Will you christen it with the sparkly pixie dust that no doubt oozes from your pores?

[autophoenix]

Like anything you touch deserves christening.

[painhumbles]

Ouch. Break my heart, why don'tcha?