010 (Voice)

[painhumbles]

[Whistle] Well. All I can hope is that everyone comes out of this with their tentacle rape virginity still intact. I mean, wounds heal, death only gets you a headstone in the creepy graveyard, but being badtouched lasts forever. Right? 'Course right.

That said, all conspiracy theories about how this is gonna turn into the ending of a bad horror

Comments

[stopkissingme]

Great. I can't wait for the next one.

[painhumbles]

It'll probably involve ninjas.

[stopkissingme]

Why? Because the last one was pirates?

[painhumbles]

Exactly. It's the only logical place to go.

[stopkissingme]

So by your logic the next, next one will be Chuck Norris or something.

[painhumbles]

Oh, now you're just being ridiculous. [Beat] Like Chuck Norris could be held by a castle.

[stopkissingme]

Okay, good point.

[painhumbles]

Seems like we're getting a lot of cultured young ladies in this place. Either schools are getting better or the castle's cutting me a break. A month ago you could throw a rock and hit someone who wouldn't get my jokes. Now I start talking and everyone's got a comeback.

[stopkissingme]

So you're complaining either way?

[painhumbles]

Au contraire, m'lady. I like comebacks. They keep me on my toes. I mean... Really? When half of the response to everything you say is "...Huh?" you really start to appreciate a good sense of humor and a sharp tongue.

[stopkissingme]

I bet it probably gets tiring. How long have you been here, exactly?

[painhumbles]

Almost a year.

Disheartening, I know. Try talking to the people who've been here for six. It makes you wanna jump off a turret.

[stopkissingme]

People have been here six years?

[painhumbles]

That's not even counting the idiots that were here before we were.

[stopkissingme]

What idiots?

[painhumbles]

Oh, honey? Are you new? The "First Generation." Apparently, they're evil or something. I don't ask around, but they get the old homebodies pretty worked up when they get mentioned.