03 ☣ two voices that are definitely not up to anything.

[superiorheight]

[FILTERED AWAY FROM ZIM]

[Welcome to another edition of IRKEN MASTERPIECE THEATER. If you could see your two “overlords,” you’d see they look very contrite and innocent. I mean, really. They are so fucking innocent. But since you can’t see them, you have to... Hear the saccharine sweetness in their voices.

It’s kinda creepy.]

We- The Almighty Tallest,

Comments

[notmyfaultwall]

Irkeniains!

I like parades. Those, are fun.

[superiorheight]

It's Irkens.

That's not even that hard of a word.

[notmyfaultwall]

Irkymcmuffins?

[haveasandwich]

[THROUGH GRITTED TEETH- GOD, IT'S WORSE THAN ZIM... Almost] Yes. Muffins. All the muffins. But only if you can find us something to destroy. ...Heroically, of course.

[explorationist]

[Have the sound of a groaning eleven-year-old]

Well, some of us have actually disposed of our own problems without anyone else's help. Besides, how would you blow them to smithereens without blowing up the whole castle?

[superiorheight]

Those are Irken military secrets! We can't reveal them!!

[haveasandwich]

We didn't take over half the known universe by revealing our secrets to anyone who asks.

[...Unless the Vortians have been ratting them out again. Fucking Vort.]

[explorationist]

Yeah yeah, all powerful galaxy-conquering aliens. I've heard it before.

But I really don't think people here need you two to do their bidding.

dictation

[historyrepeater]

You two haven't gone home yet?

[superiorheight]

Don't act like you aren't pleased to have us on your side, Paradisa spawn.

[haveasandwich]

[PUNCHBUGS. NO INSULTING THE VERMIN RIGHT NOW.] Uh. He means Paradisa...[....Shit. HOW DO YOU SHOT INSINCERE COMPLIMENTS? ...Okay, never mind.] ...Whatever. That's not important. [DRAMAVOICE] We need to return to the days of our youth when we were... Only slightly less taller than we are now, and remember what it's like to taste the thrill of victory.

[And normal voice again] You can just sit on the sidelines and bask.

[historyrepeater]

...Oh. Right. I'm pleased as punch.

[payback]

If there were actually dangerous creatures around here they'd be dogpiled by people who wanted to relieve their own boredom.

[superiorheight]

Oh come on, like this place has anybody worthy of carrying the name Invader. Chyeah. Right.

[payback]

So what are 'invaders' supposed to do?

[haveasandwich]

Invade, duh. It's right there in the name. Is it a requirement of Paradisians to be dumb as a hogbeast?

[p2iioniic]

oh really.

[superiorheight]

[Can you feel the glaring through the book???]

[superiorheight]

[Wait probably not. God it sucks not having a viewscreen]

YOU. No one asked for your opinion. Go away.

[haveasandwich]

Or this time we really will use you for target practice... Or bait for when we go out and take care of all the piddly little threats you, uh... [vermin, parasites, filthy stink-creatures] Paradisians are so worried about... And stuff.