➠ xx2

[agentkane]

[Dictated, by someone who is clearly super annoyed.]

Yeah, so hey, is there a reason that my shower seems to think acorns are a good substitute for water? Because I'd really like to finish the shower I started.

Comments

[duchess_archer]

Maybe it's a hint, Lana. Maybe you should stop busting guys' nuts all the time.

[agentkane]

Maybe it's a hint that I should bust yours more.

[duchess_archer]

Lana. Jesus Christ. This is why we had a safeword.

[agentkane]

That you never managed to remember when I tried it.

[duchess_archer]

Well, you needed to work on your enunciation! It's not that hard. Watch.

"How can a clam cram in a clean cream can? How can a clam cram in a clean cream can?"

[agentkane]

What kind of asshole insists on using a tongue-twister as a safeword, Archer?!

[duchess_archer]

The kind with a literary sense, Lana? The kind who appreciates the wordplay involved in having two different kinds of tongues twisting?

How long did you spend showering in acorns, anyway?

[agentkane]

I didn't spend any time showering in acorns, idiot. I was showering in water when all of a sudden, there were acorns everywhere. So I got out.

[duchess_archer]

Sounds like you spent at least a few seconds showering in acorns, Lana.

[Starts laughing.] Hey, wait, I gotta check these acorns out. I'm pretty sure my shower isn't all be-nutted.

[agentkane]

[Lana just mumbles something incomprehensible about shoving acorns up his ass.]

[duchess_archer]

[Trot trot. Pause.

Trot trot.]

Dammit, Lana. My shower isn't spraying acorns or cupules of any description!

[agentkane]

Well, Archer, you're more than welcome to trade rooms with me.

[duchess_archer]

Sure, yeah. As long as I hold in escrow [uh, you mean abeyance?] the rights to re-exchange.

[agentkane]

Abeyance, Archer. And no, it's a one-time deal. But you'll have a one-of-a-kind plumbing system.

[duchess_archer]

Heh heh. You know who had a one-of-a-kind plumbing system?

That French chick that -- [Cyril--] Barry was engaged to. [Chuckles.]

[agentkane]

Um, I don't know what that means, and it sounds disgusting, so I don't want to.