Dave: Field all of the boisterous waterfowl. All of them.
[Hi, castle. This page of the journal is suddenly damp and fishy smelling. In a few seconds, the reason for this will become painfully clear.
There's a wet squelching noise, then the journal flops open to the sound of a kid yelping and the sound of fluttering wings. If you are fluent in avian wingflapping, they sound irritated. Irritated and huffy. Ruffled, if you will.]
shit SHIT it always has to be the stupid lousy goddamn birds get the fuck out
[A silence. A baleful quack. The flopping continues intermittently.]
oh my god am i actually getting the fucking evil eye from a duck
is this a thing thats happening to me right now like for real
[another pause. B| dave.]
ok
ok
im sorry
im SORRY ok
jesus dick kicking christ i am like hurking up gaping shitloads of penitence here
just
can you get out before you shit on my bed
can you take the fish too
[A fluttering sound, with a muffled quaaaack. The fish... flops.
This is incredibly uncomfortable.]
There's a wet squelching noise, then the journal flops open to the sound of a kid yelping and the sound of fluttering wings. If you are fluent in avian wingflapping, they sound irritated. Irritated and huffy. Ruffled, if you will.]
shit SHIT it always has to be the stupid lousy goddamn birds get the fuck out
[A silence. A baleful quack. The flopping continues intermittently.]
oh my god am i actually getting the fucking evil eye from a duck
is this a thing thats happening to me right now like for real
[another pause. B| dave.]
ok
ok
im sorry
im SORRY ok
jesus dick kicking christ i am like hurking up gaping shitloads of penitence here
just
can you get out before you shit on my bed
can you take the fish too
[A fluttering sound, with a muffled quaaaack. The fish... flops.
This is incredibly uncomfortable.]