17. New Year's Resolutions
[As with every New Year since the Christian calender had been accepted, Aziraphale had joined in the custom of Resolutions made on the January 1st. It had seemed a harmless and rather whimsical thing to do, and the angel in him certainly approved of the notions of bettering yourself.
After 1535 it had become common practice for Crowley and Aziraphale to write their resolutions together, which had been mainly due to the demon's excessive boredom the entire year before and Aziraphale trying to find anything to amuse him in order to stop the incessant irritation.
So the journal would record the following in a nice flowing written script, neat and precise.]
Aziraphale's New Year's Resolutions
1. Stop smoking.1
2. Be more polite to customers, they love literature too.
3. Learn how to use CastleNet.
4. Learn how to saw someone in half.
5. Find a newsagents that will deliver The Times cross dimensionally.
6. Thwart wiles.
7. Teach the ghosts the difference between PG Tips and Yorkshire Tea.
8. Continue subtly influencing the usage of footnotes in writing, it makes everything appear much more elegant and well-formatted.
[And after Aziraphale’s neat handwriting, was Crowley’s far more flamboyant handwriting. As always it said ‘look at me, I’m fancy, like a sports car on paper’]
Resolution #1 - I must remember that not everyone here is human and in fact some of them do, indeed, know how to kill me. I must learn to be careful how much I annoy these people to avoid a horrible, sticky end.
Resolution #2 - No one is safe from singing, kissing or having babies. Not even me. Prepare thusly.
Resolution #3 - Stop turning to alcohol as a solution to all my problems.1..
Resolution #4 - Find a better way to protect the Bentley. The bear trap is no longer working against agile ten year old boys.
Resolution #5 - Come up with more irritating addictive games for Castlenet. The net amount of sin brought from these things is far larger than that brought from booby-trapping the lobby. Plus people are getting wise to the lobby thing.
Resolution # 6 - Find a way to leave Damian Wayne behind on a world change trip2.
Resolution #7 - Work out why I sometimes feel the desire to use footnotes. Because really, who does that?
1 Aziraphale had never smoked in his life. However, he liked to have at least one resolution that he could definitely keep, he felt it boosted morale.
1. -Unless no other solution can be found without drinking alcohol beforehand, then using alcohol is a means to an end and thus drinking it is not a ‘solution’ to a problem, but more of a gateway to finding aforementioned solution.
2. - But make it look like an accident. Or find a way to blame it on those outsiders. No one likes them. Especially the robot guys
[ooc: Joint post for Aziraphale and Crowley. Feel free to talk to both, or either one. Open over the journals.]
After 1535 it had become common practice for Crowley and Aziraphale to write their resolutions together, which had been mainly due to the demon's excessive boredom the entire year before and Aziraphale trying to find anything to amuse him in order to stop the incessant irritation.
So the journal would record the following in a nice flowing written script, neat and precise.]
Aziraphale's New Year's Resolutions
1. Stop smoking.1
2. Be more polite to customers, they love literature too.
3. Learn how to use CastleNet.
4. Learn how to saw someone in half.
5. Find a newsagents that will deliver The Times cross dimensionally.
6. Thwart wiles.
7. Teach the ghosts the difference between PG Tips and Yorkshire Tea.
8. Continue subtly influencing the usage of footnotes in writing, it makes everything appear much more elegant and well-formatted.
[And after Aziraphale’s neat handwriting, was Crowley’s far more flamboyant handwriting. As always it said ‘look at me, I’m fancy, like a sports car on paper’]
Resolution #1 - I must remember that not everyone here is human and in fact some of them do, indeed, know how to kill me. I must learn to be careful how much I annoy these people to avoid a horrible, sticky end.
Resolution #2 - No one is safe from singing, kissing or having babies. Not even me. Prepare thusly.
Resolution #3 - Stop turning to alcohol as a solution to all my problems.1..
Resolution #4 - Find a better way to protect the Bentley. The bear trap is no longer working against agile ten year old boys.
Resolution #5 - Come up with more irritating addictive games for Castlenet. The net amount of sin brought from these things is far larger than that brought from booby-trapping the lobby. Plus people are getting wise to the lobby thing.
Resolution # 6 - Find a way to leave Damian Wayne behind on a world change trip2.
Resolution #7 - Work out why I sometimes feel the desire to use footnotes. Because really, who does that?
1 Aziraphale had never smoked in his life. However, he liked to have at least one resolution that he could definitely keep, he felt it boosted morale.
1. -Unless no other solution can be found without drinking alcohol beforehand, then using alcohol is a means to an end and thus drinking it is not a ‘solution’ to a problem, but more of a gateway to finding aforementioned solution.
2. - But make it look like an accident. Or find a way to blame it on those outsiders. No one likes them. Especially the robot guys
[ooc: Joint post for Aziraphale and Crowley. Feel free to talk to both, or either one. Open over the journals.]