paradisa wedding bells - part 2/2

[lovingguide]

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[onlyanapple]

[Well, after that best man speech full of happiness and love, Crowley clearly needs to address the balance of making this moment horrifically embarrassing for the bride and groom. So he’ll just stand on his chair and shout ‘OI’ because glass tapping is for pansies]

Marriage is about love and commitment, or in my case, attempted filings for restraining orders. As Ukitake has already covered that vomit enduing part, and quite frankly because I want to, I’m going to talk about something else.
Something for you all to remember while you’re clinking glasses and congratulating them is that in a few hours, they’ll vanish to their room and do what newlyweds have been doing since marriage existed. Namely, banging each other’s brains out. And trust me, these two have waited long enough. I mean, I don’t know what they waited for to be honest. It’s not like the Big Guy has anything against it, if he did, it wouldn’t be so bloody hilarious.

[He grins in Abel and Lilith’s direction]

I’ve left you a packet of condoms, a tub of Vaseline and a copy of the Karma Sutra on your bed, along with a Rampant Rabbit. After all just because Mr. Nightroad fails to perform, doesn’t mean Mrs. Nightroad should have a night without any fun. [He raises his glass] Enjoy popping one another’s eternal cherries.

[clarklike]

[onlyanapple]

[SMILES]

[clarklike]

[What.]

[onlyanapple]

[Don't you think that was a stirring, beautiful speech, Clark?]

[loisfuckinglane]

[Look, Lois thought it was right on the money.]

[clarklike]

[Please stop agreeing with each other, it's going to spell doom for me.]

[loisfuckinglane]

[She'll even clink her own glass and shout 'Hear, hear!' just because that look on your face is priceless right now.]

[clarklike]

[He glances at her. Quietly:]

Have you met Crowley?

[loisfuckinglane]

He gave me some information when I was poking around.

[clarklike]

I see.

[He's doomed.]

[loisfuckinglane]

He seems nice. [Or... Lois' definition of nice. Which is very wide.]

[clarklike]

[He looks at her.]

He's also a snake. The biblical one.

[loisfuckinglane]

... I don't think I've had enough to drink for this.

[clarklike]

You may not have work in the morning but I don't think you want that hangover.

[loisfuckinglane]

It's the lesser of two evils.