Dave: Backdate a post for posterity.

[hardonic]

[You fiddle around with the journal. John said it was important, didn't he? Might as well check it out, it's not like anything can really surprise you at this point in the game oh god it is doing weird shit]

… Testing.

… Testing.

Comments

[bro_codebreaker]

Testing, 1, 2, 3, we read you, bro.

[makes static noises] Over.

[hardonic]

[... despite the cheesiness of the gesture, he can appreciate a bro when he hears one.]

ten four reading you loud and clear bro
updates on castle giggles and shits are a go
status: this shit is more bananas than free splits summer at baskin robbins

[bro_codebreaker]

Welcome to Castle Wonderfuck, as my bro Travis would say. I'm Barney. What up?

[hardonic]

names dave
castle wonderfuck huh?
sounds more dead-on than this paradisa shit i keep hearing about
then at least id know that jade has a sense of humor under all those fucking sparkles

[bro_codebreaker]

Yeah, well, that's the unofficial name. Paradisa's what we're supposed to call it, but ... considering I died nearly a month ago, and came back? Paradise is pretty much the worst name it could have.

How much has everyone else told you? You know it gives you whatever you want, yeah? That's the cool part. And then there's the Awesomeness Committee.

[hardonic]

hahaha
shit
sorry man

nope
my bro and i know jack shit about this place
well
beside the fact that its filled with tools and anime rejects
wait what do you mean anything
and the awesomeness committee

the anything part first

[bro_codebreaker]

Tools, yeah, but there are some really awesome people here, too. Like said committee. But, the anything part first.

Basically, all you have to do is go "HEY, CASTLE. GIMME A SNICKERS". [poof. snickers. he takes the wrapper off and tapes it to the journal page for proper exposition] And there you have it. It won't give you weapons - [the last bit is said with his mouth half full] -- but just about anything else is fair game.

[hardonic]

huh
less awesome swords than i would want
in exchange for every game bro ever
not too shabby

okay
the awesomeness committee part?

[bro_codebreaker]

Okay, get this. There's an elite group of residents who have come together to form a sacred bond, sworn to uphold and protect the status quo of awesomeness: the Awesomeness Committee. We've got our own headquarters, with bennies and stuff, and ... well. I don't think I have to tell you how awesome an Awesomeness Committee headquarters is.

[hardonic]

bro
i dont know whether this is actually awesome
or if youre dropping lasagna layers of irony on me
but either way i am pretty chill with your committee

[bro_codebreaker]

It really is awesome. C'mon up to the Ninth floor and see for yourself, if you want. I can meet'cha there.

[hardonic]

okay sure
mind if i bring some mad artillery though
nothing personal
just being careful